Ms. Rachel Lydia Rand

2024-08-03 7:28am
There is this aspect of how I've learned music. The DJ aspect of what I do. Of course I don't like the DJ title of all of this. I like to think that I'm completely independent. I listen to a lot of music that I love instead of just being totally into my thing. It's a very limited set of music that I listen to. It makes me what I am and it makes total sense that it would be good for going on this space mission. The personal aspect of it. A communication with our planet's best musicians in an environment where communication is likely extremely limited.

And then there is the aspect of this on Earth. The idea that we may, for the sake of argument, have just 10 years to live. All of us. That most of the things that people do for a living could just stop immediately. How would you spend your time? Perhaps, like many people, you played music in school, or were in a band before you got into a heavy career. You listen to your favorite music as I do. From what I hear of music out in the world playing on speakers, it may be wonderful music that is actually not all that complicated. Perhaps the musicians did that on purpose. So now there is all this wonderful recorded music around that people are familiar with and can learn to play in a similar way to how I learned to play. Transcribing. Learning to improvise. Playing warm-ups like they were your morning stretches. Taking a break from music and going for a walk. Doing a littel work out in the community on an occassional assigned day if that is how we organize. Tuning into some stuff on TV or the internet. Having your normal down time.

It's like yes, I have been driven to be a professional musician on many different levels. I am a professional like that. I've played thousands of humble gigs. And then when I went out to make my own music, I failed financially and went on to do my computer thing. For multiple reasons, I was not hugely successful with that either. I'm certainly an excellent musician and software engineer. I worked my way up the ranks to engineer, but I was based in engineering principles from the beginning. I just fought through a bunch of stuff and on some level, I did win with that. My trombone chops are essentially permanent. My body remembers how to do it and it's like riding a bicycle. Once you know how, and put in some time with it, you just remember how it works. Not that you can't lose it. You do have to keep at it. But once you put in that 10,000 hours, maintenance is fairly easy.

The shows I've been putting on this week had DJ elements to them. Playing along to my favorite recordings. Trying to learn more about them. I had a blast with that. A few weeks ago, I setup my instruments and electronics in the front yard under the tree and played all of my music. I enjoyed that just as much. Taking criticism is hard when your livelyhood depends on it. It can just become cruel. And my self critic steps up to analyze why and try to solve the problem. I just get to this crazy spot in life where I want to retire so I can disconnect music from my food/clothing/shelter supply to take the pressure off. What would things be like without the pressure? Well, that is an interesting question! Hehe. I don't know. I'm laughing pretty hard now. Perhaps we can all just experience this thing with me and laugh at it. That silly rat race thing we all did that made everything so wonderful and caused so much pain. I mean, politically, I see major signs of this change well underway. More laughing. There is nothing anyone can do about it.

Dancing in the streets. We used to play that in the high school marching band. It's a wonderful Van Halen song. I tend to not listen to it much because it brings up non-intimate feelings of a big party. I just want to cuddle and be silly with a lover or two. I've got to look at the track listing again....

OK, it is Dancing in the Streets on Diver Down. I studied it a little bit a few years ago. The internet says that Eddie is using a synthesizer to do that groove. I remember playing with an Arturia MiniMoog software synthesizer many years ago. It was just a Windows Exe I had on my system. It makes some odd sounds!

I installed Cakewalk Sonar X1 Producer on my work computer this morning. I wanted to setup my music machine side by side, but you know, space is very limited on the road so I'm working that angle of life. I usually install it with the basic settings, but I choose the advanced settings today. It was so funny! There was this huge list of plug-in synthesizers, FX and midi stuff. I don't use any of that so I think the only thing I had selected was the one checkbox for the main program. I do have a special rig. Or at least it used to be pretty special back in the day. Who really knows, but this thing has been good to me. I use a MOTU 828mk3 plugged into a Mackie 1402 mixer. These days, I could just pick up a MOTU M2 and I'd be able to use that just fine. I was a professional musician though and have earned $150,000 doing music. It's upsetting that my gear from 1999 got lost and/or stopped working. I've had to buy this stuff over and over, but I essentially use the same thing. I've learned to turn it off when I'm not actively recording and just use the sound on my computer for listening to music. I've burned up my music gear too many times keeping it on all day using it as my computer sound card.

This setup does two things for me. It allows me to put different parts of a loop on different mixers with sliders and I use that to have my music going in my living room for hours at a time. I often just make a nice 4 measure loop with 4 or 5 parts and put that on. I'll enjoy it for a while and then lower or mute one of the parts. It's a wonderful feeling. The mixer and analog to digital (A/D) converters also allow me to control the sound I'm playing over when I'm recording a new part. That's very important when you are using a microphone. Headphones are nice, but it's great to not have to use them. I'm not super paranoid about having reminants of other parts bleeding over another part. I always thought I would take this part and that part and remix them in other songs, but I essentially never do that. I'm sure some people do, but this is my process. It's just been lovely how I've been recording the piano this year. I've found it extremely difficult to record good drums. I'm a decent drummer and percussionist, but getting all the equipment together to do that along with the proper microphone setup is challenging. It also tends to highlight how drums are not my primary instrument. Perhaps there is the element too that most of the time when I try to do that, I start a recording off with the drum part, so I'm just playing solo drums and that can be very limiting.

We'll see. That drumset that Andy is playing on my site was a very basic kit he bought for $150 the day I met him. He put a large pillow of mine in the bass drum. He duct taped big X's on the top of the toms. He put a t-shirt over the snare drum. And the hi-hat was broken or simply missing the top nut, so he grabbed a rusty pair of vice grips in my garage and clamped it down. The hi-hat didn't open and close, but it was fun to use and was nice to not have to work the foot pedal part of it. It was just so perfect and was amazing playing drums there for a few months. I didn't get any recordings of me playing it, but believe me, I was jammin' out on that thing! It was amazing! I hadn't played a set in almost a quarter century. It didn't take long to get back into it. I was using the Transcriber section of my Dot Trombone app to slow down my favorte recordings and then playing drums with that. I had it running on a Windows 7 machine that I had bought for $30 that I had running through a mixing board and then going to my Alesis RA-100 amp and my Polk Audio speakers in the living room. That setup has been so good to me. The HP computer is one of those slim office towers. I put a half height firewire card into it and ran one of my MOTUs into it. I sawed a hole through my dry wall to run 5 wires from the board into the main part of the living room so I could easily plug in a microphone. I essentially made all of my paino recordings from 2017-2022 using that rig. Peter told me, I understand. You have your older lady and you do your piano thing and don't want to be bogged down with all the recording anymore. It was a good phase in my life playing all that solo piano and working on composition.

I bought this SP404 a couple years ago. I waited almost 6 months for it to be delivered after ordering it. When I got it, it essentially sat on the shelf for a year. This is the kind of machine that was so big in the rave scene. I had bought another MC307 off of ebay I think and that sat around for a long time too. So last year, I finally plugged them in and worked on getting them to do something. I've enjoyed what it does. Using the 404 is slightly better than running Cakewalk on my computer. It has advantages and disadvantages. I've learned some basic things to get mp3s off of my computer and into the 404 and then I learned how to get the 404 to loop things properly. It seems that there is some trick with assigning the tempo of each looped part. I've got the manual, but you know, it's good enough. It could be a wonderful standalone, low power recorder. I sold the MC307 in the winter, so I can't make any more of those sounds. The 404 is a sampler and can function as a drum machine. I'm moderately interested in using it that way. I'm sure I'll get around to it. I'm more interested in getting good recordings of playing other drums and percussion in my environment. I may get to recording today, but my energy is a little haphazard. I tend to make new music recordings best when I setup a fresh new studio and have a peacful vibe going on. Most of those ingredients are here this morning, but I'm a little stressed out from everything. We'll see if anything shows up in the net today!

2024-07-22 12:20am
I slept from mid-afternoon until just before the sun set. Then I did some networking to lay my foundation of where I'm going after the house sells. I'm feeling better about it. It's all a little sketchy though.

Through my music and programming work, I've meet about 200 people in my life. A lot of that was because of my time in the Navy. I'm essentially in contact with none of them at the moment. They have all distanced themselves from me because they see what I'm doing as unstable, or insane or whatever. I guess I don't blame them. You know, they typically have families and have a hard time relating to the risks I take. I don't see myself as taking huge risks, but I'm likely incorrect about that. People thought I was crazy getting out of the Navy and giving up that security and full time musicish job. It was a tough journey, but I got through that and I'll get through this.

You know me, or if you want to learn about me, I'm just in a staging area right now awaiting my duty station change. Once I move on, it'll be back to doing what I do best; setting up a new music/computer/writing/politics/programming/cooking scene. That's what I do. Once it is all setup and I start the music, hopefully some new exciting stuff happens. What I've got going on in my SP404 is exciting, but there just isn't much there and getting new stuff into it is a huge priority for me. I'm not likely going to be able to do that in the staging area. The energy here is just one of moving on, not of digging into new work. Writing is going well though. And I've put on some good performances lately. It's taken a lot of thinking and lessons in the neighborhood public places to figure out what the hell I'm doing next. The fear of homelessness, and death, is behind all of it. I do not want to be homeless. But I've been there before and I'm sure I could do it even better than I did last time. It's all so ridiculous though.

It's all in my books. All of those jobs and experiences I had after the Navy must have been planned out by someone else. I'm sure a lot of lower end jobs like that are unreasonable, but my experiences were just over the top ridiculous. For whatever reason, I've been put down this path in life. I have this strong Ann/Rand connection and the bee sting connection. Those were not my plans. I suppose I had a small amount of choice in things, but sometimes I wonder if I was making any choices at all. I certainly own everything I did. I walked through all of that. I know what it all feels like. Those stories are mine. Even if people can monitor my senses externally, I am the only one truly feeling in my body. All those years of music practice were done by me. Wrting the books by my fingers on the keyboard engaging with my mind. Summing thoughts from decades of memories to be used in new equations.

I'm essentialy training myself to look at men through a woman's perspective now. I got this picture of Kamala Harris in my email today. I'm going to take a look at that again right now.... She's at a podium and there are people with their campaign gear on the edges away from her. I've been thinking all day about the loneliness of it all. I don't know what it is like for these typical politicians with strong social connections. I consider my social connections to be strong and important. But at the moment, I'm totally isolated from them. I hope to find some popularity out there to attract these people back into my life. The idea that if they can see that my thing is working, then perhaps they.... Well, that becomes a mushy area of mental torture and weirdness.

Of course seeing Kamala like that again today brings up the idea of me being vice-president. Of course I'm all about having a female as president and me as vice-president. The only problem I have with it is the idea of de-growth. I'm promoting de-growth. The democratic party, and socialist movements on the far left, seem to have workable ideas with what I am suggesting. The problem has always been about how to pay for it all. And that brings in the well to do Republicans and their ideas of money and finances. And in some ways, I'm totally on board with them. And the democratic union ideas. I'm not sure how all of those things work. They both have obviously contributed into making all these things we see in the world. The engineering structures and objects we enjoy. The social freedoms that people of both political ideologies enjoy.

But then there is this whistleblower pest transwoman suggesting that it can't last. How to pay for it? I've been contemplating the extremely controversial idea of devaluing our currency. We've already been doing it, but I'm theorizing how to make big changes with it. Is that what we need to do at this point in history? I'm not sure. It's extremely complicated and I need to do some more thinking and writing about it. The basic theory I'm working with now is writing every adult a $500,000 check. What would that do?

It would allow all people with fixed rate debt to pay that off. Essentially everyone who has a fairly normal house would be able to pay that mortgage off and avoid interest payments going forward. Everyone who owned the fixed rate investments would lose out all of that interest. Essentially there would be no more interst profit at all and that would end the debt based, rat race slavery game. Wouldn't it?

The people who didn't own a house would have $500,000 in their hand. The people who owned those properties would be essentially broke, but they would have a house with no payments. People who already owned their house, would have their house and the money. We'd need to setup laws before that to limit home ownership to one house per individual or something like that.

The idea about it is to end the rat race. That growth dependent virus debt thing. Work still needs to be done of course. Money is arguably fair. I suppose it would put us into a position where the currently poor people would have significant money and the currently rich people would have houses but no money. Would that force homeowners to work and allow renters to not work? Is that what is happening now? A segment of poor people are not working. Many people are disabled, or claim to be disabled, and get "benefits" to pay for their lower class lifestyle. The thing I don't like about that is the bearuacray of the system. One of the things I want the most is for that industry to be eliminated. And the mental health systems. I have serious doubts as to whether those systems are helping anything. Sure, they can help some individuals. I think a lot of it is just demeaning attitudes beating down the poor in an effort to force people to get the dirty work of society done. It's like OK, there are a lot of jobs that are not sexy that just need to be done. If we can collectively, through our computer networking, social app systems, admit that and figure out a way to divide up that work and do it from our hearts, then possibly we can get rid of these stupid social services monitoring people. And ideally a good amount of security jobs as well. We just spend so much time in society doing these jobs that don't need to exist and they are just spreading hate at every step of the way.

That's how I see it at least. You know, maybe we can do something like what we did during the pandemic except not have to have a virus as a reason to do it. We could all just like read my website, start discussing this stuff, stop going to restaurants for a couple months, consider this currency devaluation and the reasons for doing it, and.... Well, that seems like a more productive use of time than what we are doing with our current political system.

Democracy is the lowest common denominator of greed.

Freedom. Cars. Rockets to the moon. Innovation. Better dishwashers. Better refrigerators. Are we limited?

2024-07-19 6:41am
The last few weeks I've realized that my sexual preferences are feminizing. And I wish them to continue in that direction. There is diversity out there. People like different things and we all make decisions and deal with internal impulses. Of course my thoughts and feelings on it have been evolving over the decades. The old way I was just wanted to touch women. The burning passion of it. Now I just want to be touched in that way. I don't like the gay thing at all. I'm sorry if that attitude offends some people. It's just my personal thing that I'm sure some other people can relate to. I just don't feel all that comfortable with men with that thing between my legs. Even if it were removed, it will still have a gay aspect to it, but you know, it gets to be less and less of a problem the more I feminize.

I often wake up with criticism of myself running through my mind. I shake it off quickly by just saying that I am doing my thing here. I am running for president. And the Mars thing appears to be a real thing. I wouldn't doubt if there is some 2026 launch. I'd certainly rather stay on Earth. That mission seems pretty brutal. Of course feminizing surgery seems brutal too. I've been studying the structure of my erections lately. I still have fairly strong erections. I've got this painful bend now and it is pretty much all voluntary erections and I don't tent to volunteer for that very much. It's interesting the kind of ligament structures coming from inside. Like attached to the legs. Must be why men can't do splits very well. That stuff obviously needs to be removed.

Lots of people in the world and I'm sure there are plenty of people who hate me! Oh my! I would have retired from the Navy with 30 years back in 2021 if I had stayed in the whole time and I was almost 22 when I joined. I've been working for 35 years. I'm just closing in on retirement. I'm cashing out my life savings of about $65,000. Possibly less. 7 years ago I had negative life savings. Going on this music/politics book tour of sorts. I'm intent on not talking politics out there at all unless it is some kind of Ted Talk kind of interview. Even then.... This politics stuff is on my website. I want people to read it and discuss it with people other than me. It would be really encouraging to hear stuff in the media or on the web of other people discussing my ideas. I'm not into the debate of it all at this point. There is no use talking with me about it. I'm pretty much stuck in this thing; the ideas and theories of it. I'm not going to be easily changed on this stuff anymore. If you don't like what I offer, don't vote for me. It's really that simple. Of course you can get into the idea that if you don't like what I'm trying to do, then you can be actively against me and try to stop me. It's hard for me to even think about that kind of thing. I'm for things, not really against things. I'm not an "anti" person at all.

I like looking at it like a book tour with music instead of talking. I'm pretty showy. Bicycling has been incredible lately. I feel it toning my abs. Transgender surgery could ruin that, but you know, it's always good while it lasts and then you are on to something else. Now if I couldn't play piano, that would be a problem. Not sure I would want to live if that were the case.

If I am closing in on the two year mark and haven't made any significant financial progress, I'll have to give it up and try to get into some kind of minimal retirement scene. A roof over my head and electricity for the electronics. If I can keep all of my gear, then I should be set for life if I can get the basics. Playing music with other people can be nice, but I get overloaded quickly. I've had a good deal of musical torture in my life. I need to do my own thing. It's also good for a Mars mission. I just hope that if they do send me on that that I have a partner with me. A female partner for that mission. Even if I feminized as much as possible, the elements of the male/male thing in that mission is too much for me. It seems that my feminizing is a single occupant type of story. Being up there alone would be hard. Then again, knowing that the whole planet sent me would be some kind of encouragement!

I love typing. I don't want speech to text.

I love driving. I don't want AI cars.

I love playing music. I don't want AI music.

I like putting in the hours. I don't want short cuts.

My house sale is not as lucrative as I had hoped for. My budget says that my consumables on the road come to about $15,000/year. So I'd need another $30,000 or so to make it another 2 years. If I'm not successful at getting that after 2 years, then I guess it doesn't make sense anyway. It's hard to imagine being that unsuccessful out there, but you know, I couldn't even beg for money to get two slices of bread, so I get kind of fearful of people.

The major thought I have running through my head is how I'm observing strong, young men. Thinking of them going out to do the heavy lifting in the world. Let's face it, these buildings and other engineering structures are made almost entirely by men. I'm curious about how young women see that. And then of course there is my politics that suggests that we should drastically slow down on that kind of thing. And there is my personal thing with having not done a lot of the heavy lifting in my life and closing in on a transfeminine retirement. I'm working on this early moonlighting career. My political thing. If it fails, there isn't going to be another career for me. Just enough odd jobs to survive. Hopefully finding some accepting place with people who realize just how hard I've worked in my life and deserve basic food, clothing and shelter so I can continue my music and writing.

Women are certainly doing work. Theoretically the same amount of work as the men. Work is just life. Men are just doing the heavy lifting of it. Just because you see me in a high class kind of thing doing my braiding at a coffee shop.... Well, I'm just kind of retired like that. People who are 70 don't see me as old at all. I don't think they quite realize the road miles I have on my mind!

I'm mostly listening to Tomorrow We'll See and Epilogue. Thinking about Hole in My Life! Oh my!!!!O-

This one has been a big, big deal lately. I'm getting all kinds of triggers about people wanting human customer service instead of machines. I'm dealing with selling my house and closing things down here and have some customer service stuff going on. Let me explain....

Yes, of course eveyone hates those talking prompt menus on the phone. If you are calling them, then you are likely in a position where they can't help you anyway. What I noticed in an interaction today is that I have massive tech skills. I realized that many people, a large amount of people, do not have those skills. Perhaps this is where the minority end of these politics come into play. I can obviously type well. I'm essentially a professional typist with all the coding I do. And the books and websites. So it isn't just those speaking phone menus, it's website stuff as well. Clicking through this and that. I know I hate it and I code that stuff!

You have to understand, and this is very important, that what I am suggesting about increased automation is not more/better menus/interfaces like that, but entirely eliminating the need for them! I'm actually so poor now that I had to get food stamps, at least until my house sells. The hoops I had to go through to get that weren't too bad, at least for a technical wizard like me. I certainly spent an hour with it though. What I'm suggesting is completely eliminating that system. Applying for food stamps is a thing of going to a website and entering your name and address. A card is sent to you in the mail. And that is it. You never have to interact with them again. If you lose your card, you go to the same website and do it again. You know, maybe you enter your SSN. As far as the federal government funding that system, that is another matter, but getting rid of the problem of human customer service vs Automation should be as easy as that. You all are going to eat today anyway whether you are working or not. At least I hope this society is civil enough to ensure that people don't starve to death on the street corner. Personally, I'm a little worried about it. I know I have worked a ton in my life and was cranking out math equations at the library and grocery store the last couple days. If you think that AI cars are going to be a thing, you'll want people who know that kind of math and it may be useful having a president who knows that stuff too. Personally, I have my doubts about AI cars, but you know, I understand that the carbon savings could be huge. Then again, if those carbon savings are just to have people go to work to police the food stamp system, then I still think it is a waste. I hate to be mean, but maybe those customer service agents and their customers need that as a social interaction. What are you all fighting for? Why did I only get 500 votes?

I'm working on getting an example of typical customer service to post here. I've asked for permission from this company. I hope to have some good contact with them about it. It would be nice to talk to one of their executive leaders about it. I have many questions about how these businesses operate. It's not about being against them. I understand why they do what they do. I'm the whistleblower here and the whistle works both ways. People just complaining about large corporations don't have much respect from me. Adjustments need to be made on both sides in my opinion. I dislike the lack of transparency in the whole thing.

Andy said that as musicians, bars are our friends. As it turns out, that isn't the case for me. The only reason I go to bars is because I feel obligated and I'm always looking for a way to leave. It's the same thing with concert events.

I align much more with fast food. I'm just suburban like that. Although I tend to dislike the uniforms and theoretically the working conditions, I've certainly worn a uniform enough in my life and I was very much into my uniform. The clothes I wear today can be seen as a uniform. I have many copies of the same pieces of clothing.

As bad as conditions are in fast food (so I'm told), they seem to work. People say they don't work there for long and yet it's rare to see a fast food place not give you food. Andy's complaint about working there is the repeatition of it. He says he likes working in a more relaxed environment where he can sit at the bar when things are slow or what not. I personally like to crank out work. When I am coding, I am cranking out code and logging those hours on my invoices. I've got a lot of invoices over the decades that have 15 hours a week on them, but I was cranking code during that time. And the time outside of those "billable hours" was spent thinking about those projects and how to code them better.

Fast food, especially McDonald's, was a huge help in my weight loss regimine. Obviously it worked.

Yes, the automation part of this post....
I am completely sick of getting grief over using electronics to record music. When I say I am a musician, the first thing out of people's mouths are "do you play with a band?" To me, that is down right disrespectful asking that question first thing. Sure, I've played in bands. I've played 2,000 gigs in my life. I've made $150,000 at it. Of course I have played in some bands.

These feelings are especially bad in our music comunity here in Portland. I am the black sheep in this musical family in having joined the military (people are really against the military in this "liberal" city) and with how I use electronics. It's like, yes, I use electronics and record. I've probably spent $15,000 on music gear in my life to bring you the music on my websites. How much have you spent on cars and transportation? I'm sure that even with the cost of my sub-compact electric car, most people riding the bus spent way more on transportation than I did in the last 5 years. I actually made a profit on the car itself!

You know, please have some respect here. I'm transgender. I'm sorry if that offends you. I actually don't want to be the transgender representative everywhere I go (I prefer to say at home, but apparently people aren't getting my music and political lessons). Believe me, my life has put me down this road, for whatever reasons, and it is continuing on. And so is my solo music. They may both be for a Mars mission folks! I have no idea if transgender surgery or a Mars mission is even possible or a thing, but if it is, I am totally trained for both of those things. I've been DJ4 for nearly a quarter century. Do you think people are going to get to Mars without computers? How big of a band can you take to Mars? How much food do you have to send for the trip there? You have to send it all on the launch because there is no restocking port on the way. Even when you get there, it'll likely be a thing of "the cans are runnning out." What's in your freezer (another electronic device with toxic gases)? I've got ice and peas/carrots in mason jars in mine. It's been like that for... Well, a long time. 6 months? I recycle about 4 glass jars every 6 months.

I'm just asking for some respect and to look at the big picture here. OK, if the only thing that matters is having fun and burning oil, I get it, this is a pretty cool city. If that isn't the gig, then what is happening out there is insanity and what I'm proposing should totally happen and 50% of you should totally lose your jobs and your cars immediately. OK, if you don't want to be replaced by a machine, I get it. If you can still get to work, or even the grocery store without a car, then you can do your job. It isn't about the money at all for these people. The government can fix that problem really quick. It's about what you would do if you couldn't go to work and couldn't drive. Or it's about burning oil and I'm just a joke. Still, I think it is a bit ridiculous to have me losing my home and facing the insanity of having to be possibly homeless again. Some technology can make a huge, huge carbon savings if you can adjust your thinking a bit. Just imagine your life without cars and recorded music. Could you even get to the store? This politics stuff goes deep.

According to data I see here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birth_rate#/media/File:1965-_Fertility_rate_-_United_States.svg, the US birthrate a few years after 2020 was approximately 1.6 births/woman. It appears that the last recent lowest period was in 1976 at about 1.7. Let's run some calculations on those theoretical numbers and compare them with my post at Daily Thoughts->Stickies->204-03-14 World Population Reduction Estimating Calculator....

First scenario givens:
currentPopulation = 8,000,000,000
newReplacementRate = 1.6

Results:
If we start with 8 billion people and adopt this 1.7 children/woman birthrate world wide, then in 2099 (75 years from 2024), world population will be 6,138,687,000. That's a decrease of 24%.

Second scenario givens:
currentPopulation = 8,000,000,000
newReplacementRate = 1.6 decreasing annually at a rate of 0.03125 births/woman each year (based on the vector of 2007/2.1 to 2023/1.6) for 40 years, then remaining constant at a one child per two woman rate (0.5 birthrate)

Results:
If we start with 8 billion people and adopt this 1.7 children/woman birthrate world wide, then in 2099 (75 years from 2024), world population will be 1,536,855,469. That's a decrease of 80% and in line with Rachel's population reduction suggestions. The problem with this method is that it just assumes that birthrates will keep falling at the average rate that they have been for the last 16 years (the decrease vector). Those figures do not reflect the longer trend from that Wikipedia article and image that show this same decrease in birthrates (from 2.1/woman to 1.6/woman) happening since 1973, a span of 50 years, not just 16 years.

So, based on this last result, here is the computation for continuing of the 50 year trend/vector instead of the 16 year trend/vector:
(too tired at the moment to complete this calculation accurately. 4:47pm on a Sunday. Need another cat nap refresh!)

One of my friends does some volunteer work one day a week at a hospital. She assembles cancer treatment packages. She says that she loves this work. She likes playing word find games too. She also does some secretarial work. Answering phones and things like that. She says that assembling the kits at the hospital is her favorite job activity. She takes the bus there, approximately 5 miles each way. It sounds like this is a necessary job and it's reasonable for her to take the bus there one day a week to do it.

The grocery store closest to me does not have any self-checkout stations. In times when I do not own a car, I tend to go there more often. When I have a car, I tend to travel another mile down the road to a store that mostly has better quality vegetables. I don't see these checker positions as a necessary job. Scanning groceries isn't complicated and if you are not scanning your own groceries, you are mostly just fumbling around with a payment card in an awkward limbo type situation. At least that is how I feel. Perhaps the checkers like doing that job and perhaps people enjoy that job being done for them. Perhaps they enjoy the social interaction. It's a bit of a mystery to me. The job certainly isn't necessesay, but if those people didn't use powered transportation to get there and were not paid for that work, I guess there isn't any harm in them spending their days doing that as a social activity. Stocking shelves is certainly a critical job and should be highly compensated. I think it would be good if all those people lived in good housing and drove Teslas. The situation with shopping carts is ridiculous and I seriously believe that all stores should stop retrieving shopping carts and remove shopping cart stalls from their parking lots. If people do not have the time to return shopping carts to the store, then I don't believe they deserve having shopping carts. And don't get me started on the cars.

Restaurants and restaurant jobs are mostly unnecessary. They are fun. Really fun! People enjoy driving their cars to music concerts too. Again, totally unnecessary, but fun! Well, I suppose it is fun. I don't have fun going to concerts, but it appears that other people do. I enjoy restaurants, especially if they do not have televisions there. Cynthia and I probably only went to restaurants two or three times a year. My cooking was so good that we just didn't feel the need. The main reason my cooking was so good was because I was not working full time. It also gave me the time to keep the yard looking good. This thing of people working so hard, dual income family people, that they have to eat at restaurants all the time and have people maintain their house and yard is pretty ridiculous. And unhealthy for everyone involved. Andy and other people around me lately have been talking about the negative effects of working in a kitchen and having your hands in water all week long. Again, if people don't drive to work in restaurants and their work is volunteer work, I don't see the harm in them doing that activity. It may be more enjoyable for them than sitting at home typing on a computer and playing music like I do. I find it hard to believe that the people creating the demand for restaurants and yard work are doing some vitally important management role in society. If we can get computers to handle a lot of that management work so that they can stay at home, without a car, and take care of their yard and cook their own meals, then I think we are headed in the right direction.

Dentists are weird, but they seem to be completely necessary.

Mental health hospitals are mostly a complete waste as far as I'm concerned. Although it is a little scary, I believe that putting me on the national stage and implementing my ideas could have such a sobering effect on people, that the demand for this type of treatment might drop rapidly. Hopefully gun violence would too. What would all these doctors and nurses do if they were not doing their 12 hour shifts baby sitting adults behind magnetically sealed doors? My idea is that they could bike to the grocery story, maintain their house and yard, get rid of their car and figure out how to use local internet connections to meet people in a 5 mile radius of them who would make lovely friends to have over for dinner and music evenings. Perhaps playing some board or computer games together in the same house. Boy, I'm really sorry if this happens and you miss those mental health jobs. I know you must enjoy that social interaction on those 12 hour shifts and that car and paycheck. And the restaurants and yard maintenance.

City planning government jobs? I guess that was a big part in how all this stuff got built. If my theory is correct about having to downsize, or we decide we would rather downsize than doing what we have been, then it seems that a good amount of these civil engineering and political jobs could be eliminated. If you have been reading all of this, you probably have some ideas of what you could do with all the free time you'll have.

Police and fire? Obviously totally necessary.

Road and infrastructure maintenance? I wouldn't call this as necessary as other jobs. I mean, yes, let's keep doing this stuff as long as we have the resources to do it. If we are downsizing, then we are downsizing this too. I think we are going to see road quality decline in the future and we will have to concentrate our resources on keeping the bigger roads of our distribution system working well. The smaller roads and declining car use will probably crumble and mountain bikes could become a big thing. I'm certainly into that idea! I'm not so into the idea of bloody battle in the streets, but mountian biking dystopian crumbled asphault sounds like a blast! Especially to the nicer houses that are more distant from the main roads and grocery stores. It seems that there could be some payoff to being fit in the future.

Teachers and schools? I mostly love the idea of students continuing to physically go to a school. I think that the teachers and students should all ride bikes there. I know, I know. Our population is way too unhealthy to be doing so much biking. I think that makes it even more important for kids to be immersed in a bicycle culture in getting to school. If I am correct about declining oil in the near future, then teaching our youth about bicycling, health and staying strong might just be the most important subject they learn in school.

What other professions are there? In the city? It's like okay, I'm a city zen jazz music northerner freak. My politics are mostly about addressing these things in our cities. I've seen someone comment on my platform saying that it is a solution seeking a problem. Andy, who has a meteorolgy background, says that we are absolutely not harming the environment by burning this oil. I've heard former president Trump and people of simular persuasion say that humans are not capable of changing the weather. I mostly disagree with that logic. Do nuclear bombs and energy production exist? Would we change the weather if we set them all off at once? Are we not capable of that?

Manufacturing jobs? Well, we can eliminate a lot of car production jobs by not using cars. Just not having cars would eliminate the need to manufacture many products that are not even related to cars. A declining population has no need for new housing and therefore the manufacture of housing parts.

Many other professions to talk about here. It's 4:55am now. I slept from 10pm to 1:15am and have been writing since then. That has been my sleep pattern for the last few months. I've been taking some cat naps during the day. Most of them are just like 20 minutes. It seems that this is preparing me to live in a motorhome on the road. If I'm just sleeping in some random place and the cops tell me to move on, then I should have it together enough to start driving and not be in a sleepy fog.

Let's say, like I have been suggesting and writing about, that our oil/carbon society that we have engineered and built will only last another 50 years. If we take that, for the sake of argument, as a given, then what do we do? Do we continue on doing what we have been doing for essentially a century or do we downsize and stop the rat race? Think of this from a 20 year old's perspective. That perhaps in 50 years, when they are 70 years old, in 2074, oil completely stops suddenly and population is still at 8 billion people. Let's say, for the sake of argument again, that we could only support 2 billion people when that day arrives. So if we were to continue on like we are now until we get to that point, then we would immediately have to eliminate 75% of the population. How would we go about doing that?

Would it be like a video game war zone? Is this something you would like to be doing when you are 70 years old? Killing your children and their friends with guns in the street?

Would a civil drawdown, like I'm suggesting, be better? You might imply that I'm 100% for the civil drawdown. Do you think we still have enough oil to continue what we are doing now for 50 years? Drawing down could extend that number and avoid the war. Would that be too boring?

5:55am Is Rachel Lydia Rand really an engineer? Isn't she just some crazy street musician?

I'm on the ballot in 3 days. Instead of spending my day knocking on doors, I started my day at 2am with some quiet time drinking some coffee. I edited a couple words on the front page of my site. Then I went to the desktop computer I have in the living room music studio that I use for recording. I've been leaving some of my apps open on it lately meditating on what I want to perform for the DNC. It has an ultra-wide screen on it that I bought for music notation software. Yesterday, I opened two calculators on it and did a calaculation for .5/.866 and .866/.5. To most people, those numbers don't mean anything. To me, I learned the significance of those numbers while sleeping on the concrete sidewalk in 2004. I was working up to run for US Rep and President and I was homeless and had no money. I had my briefcase with papers in it and a trigonometry book I checked out from the library. I didn't have a computer, cell phone, or calculator. I don't think I even had a watch. I learned trig by using the tables in the back of the book.

So, this morning I opened up a third calculator and used some of the results from the other calculators to enter in .577/1.732. And what do you know? That produced .3333! I immediately recognized that as 30 degrees expressed in grads. I learned about grads about a decade ago by doing a similar thing of pressing buttons on a calculator with numbers that I knew the result for. And then I immediately thought that maybe the trigonometric function can be coded instead of it being a thing of being a lookup table from measuring a large circle. Here is an image of this work:

Are these numbers significant or not? I'm not 100% convinced here. My goal is to write a function, maybe in javascript, that is the trigonmetric function and I don't want to learn about it in a book.

I'm saying that I want to be vice-presidnet. The vice-president's mansion is connnected to the Navy and our technology. 30 degrees (33.33 grads), is 1/12^ths of a circle. We use twelve notes. These aren't just random numbers and I'm not just some random street person. Yes, I've been in the mental hospital many, many times. I never had drugs in my system when I wound up in those places though. I've mostly been sober, except for one bad year, for 20 years. It was always caused by working too much without pay and being exhausted from it. I always considered this to be presidential training. Are all our presidents trained like this? I don't have all the answers there. I know what has happened to me.

I was in the kitchen at 4am this morning. Andy cooked potatoes and onions with over medium eggs. I cut some of the last of the rye bread that we made last week and toasted that. We sat down together at the table and had a political discussion. I insist that this is what I need to be doing to be the best politician I can be instead of knocking on doors. If I knock on doors, I'll get some people pissed off at me. I'll exhaust my body. I may have a good conversation or two that may or may not lead to something. Instead, I'm doing all this stuff which is essentially practicing the job of president. This is the way I've been operating for over 20 years.

I'm the whistleblower politician. Is it just randomness that Ms Rand plays chromatic pennywhistle? Isn't my self-taught education equivelant or even better than someone who has a doctorate degree?

Before I learned trigonometry in Feburary of 2004, I was attempting to write my collision detection using only ratios. I proved that it could be done that New Years Eve. Trigonometry has a heavy ratio element to it. Plane trigonometry. Whenever there are three points, there is a definition of a perfect plane. Trigonometry introduces angles to these planes and triangles. It has to do with the implied circles around the triangles and their planes. It's how we estimate the distance of planets. If you don't know about all this stuff and are interested in this math, I suggest you buy a copy of my in || on book. When I talk about my time on the streets, I get into all the details of this math and attempt to teach the basics of trigonometry in just a few paragraphs. I'd love to give lectures on this someday. Like a TED talk where I talk about my time on the streets, show my apps, play my music and give the trigonometry lesson. Will I be so famous that security will be a problem? I wouldn't doubt it. There are many, many musicians who are much more advanced than me. And obviously there are scientists way beyond what I do. For being a jack of all trades, I'm pretty advanced at each thing. I enjoy learning and teaching. And I think this is a good way to do politics. Our politics tend to lean too heavily on social issues. We tend to lose sight of how oil is running our lives and how it isn't easily stopped. People like to make fun of politicians and make fun of nerds, but these people are allowing them the freedom to even do those things. People should have more respect for what went into all of the technology in our lives. Imagine what you would do if your whole lifestyle, your very livelihood, depended on the task of having to make a circular saw blade from scratch. It's easy to take that for granted. How would you make a perfectly straight line? Do you think I'm just improvising that statement right now? I came up with that statement when I was on the streets 20 years ago. I probably posted it on my website that I accessed at a computer at the library. A circle and a straight line. If you saw me on the streets back then, what assumptions would you have made about me?

7:07am I'm not much of an activist or protester. I'm not one to be against something. I do a lot of research and thinking and then I get to a point where I'm for something.

3:38am (the next day) I just pulled up a website to do the arc tangent function because the Windows scientific calculator doesn't do that function. I entered in the .577 number and did an atan on it and it came back with .523 which is what I was expecting **. The .577 number is the result of the opposite over the adjacent and the .523 is the circumference measure to 30 degrees and is one of those numbers I memorized in February 2004. That's an interesting story in my book.

** About a month and a half later when reading through this I realized I was a bit turned around on that statement. Enter .577 into your calculator and hit the 1/x button, then hit the 1/x button again. Experiment around some more with what I'm talking about and you'll get the error I made and how it is what I call a "logical typo".

So, the lessons I learned last night are that .577 is the result of a ratio. The idea here is how to convert that decimal back to a ratio. Andy helped with that last night. He said "just divide by 10!" I was like, oh my, that makes sense! Andy is good for a laugh like that! I had come home from a walk to the store and was hot on the idea of division and the musical connection to Ed Sheeran and Pink Floyd's The Division Bell. I don't know either one of them very well, but I am hot on the idea of writing a function that does division. And that brings up the subject of how a computer does multiplication. I talked with Andy about that and I said that my dad just beat the multiplication tables into me. I remember not getting it. I would tell my dad "why do I have to memorize this stuff?" And he would say "you just do." And ironically, it was the same way with trigonometry on the streets. With trig, the numbers only matter so that you can grasp the concept of it all. They don't matter, but there is the magic of the sine of 30 degrees being .5 and how that points to 12 and the overtone series / cycle of 5^ths. That's pretty amazing stuff and then Andy was trying to draw a conclusion to 24 hours a day. I insisted that that application of 24 was man-made and he was not convinced. Then he brought up the year being about 360 days, or perhaps I brought that up. That is not a man-made number (365) and it's really odd having that and the connection to 12. It's just a coincidence, but Andy was trying to draw some conclusion from it. And then I brought up the thing with the moon appearing to be the same size as the sun. And that got Andy bringing up more conclusions.

Then I abandoned the conversation and my next thought on the subject was that this whole thing is about ratios and how I was using ratios to do my collision detection before I started studying trig. I then took a look at the calculators on my screen. What is this .577 number? That is not the arc tangent of 30 degrees, is it? I swear that I'm correct about the arc tangent of 30 degrees being .523. I've been spouting that number off consistently since Feburary 2004. So then I got out my Plane Trigonometry book and looked up 30 degrees. Sure enough, .523 is correct. But then from having looked at that row of numbers, I got the idea that if you had any one of those numbers and knew which function it was under, then you should be able to figure out the rest. They are all the result of a ratio and the idea is to convert them back to ratios and cross multiply and divide. And I mentioned that to Andy, or did he bring up cross multiplying and dividing when I was talking about ratios? We basically got to that at the same time and I was impressed that Andy knew about it.

So, I think all the keys are here and it's almost time for me to start coding a division function and then a trigonometric function. If it can be done, I should be able to have this coded in the next couple days, although I'm stretched pretty thin with this political stuff. We'll see. It's an interesting project.

---

Who is Rachel Lydia Rand? One part me is this Rodney Dangerfield character who is always saying I can't get no respect. What is really going on with me is that I've essentially been doing 6 hours of unpaid work a day, outside of my day jobs, for over 35 years. I'm asking you to respect that. I'm not trying to shove that down your throat as a lead by example thing of this is the best way to do things. It's worked well for me. It allows me to be a serious political candidate without any viable social network or having much money. It's allowed me to essentially beat alcohol and drug addiction. It may seem like I'm miserable begging for respect, but that isn't the case at all. I taught myself, yes TAUGHT myself, to love doing the dishes by hand. If there is something dirty in the kitchen, then I'm taking the time to clean it right now and I'm singing and dancing while I'm doing it. It's a bit of a circus show and I modeled that kitchen behavior after my high school girlfriend's mom Betty. She was kind of a Mary Poppins type character. Julie Andrews. I can be a sappy romantic type.

It's all in my books. If you want to respect me, give me a $20 donation and enjoy the music on my site and the political writing. Know that I'm trying to make your life slightly better monetarily and at the same time eliminate your job so that you can stay at home and do whatever you want as long as you are not using powered transportation. Or you can travel or stay at your friends houses. Play banjo music or play that humble Mexican music. Play hip-hop. Run around naked in your living room all day. Copy what I'm doing. Watch cooking shows all day. Use your phone to make cat pictures all day. Code a 3d video game from scratch. Make a clone of my website. I put the copyright sign on my site but do you think I would mind if you made a parody site of my site in a way that you still know that it was based on Dot Trombone? I may or may not want to see it, but if other people are getting enjoyment out of making fun of me as a vice-presidential lunatic and it keeps you from buying a $40,000 that you drive 30 miles a day to your job locking someone else up because they have been deemed to have a mental problem. I don't have any bright ideas for how to get rid of this gangster gun violence stuff. I'm not living on the west side of town to have an expensive house. I live here because it is safe and mellow and I like the hills and trees. Some people like more action than I do. I have enough action going on in my head and the kitchen sink!

Respect. Give me your vote, give me a small donation, buy one of my books for $9.99, listen to my music for free, read about my plans to change the world for free, learn some math for free, learn some cooking for free, use my curry shopping list generator for free. I'm fine with living with roommates for the rest of my life. I can live on less money than I am now. I still want to live in an environment away from that crazy gun culture. Actually, I like keeping to myself mostly and just having a few intimate people around. We'll see. Perhaps I'm in this lonley position in life because it is a secret service security thing. That makes the most sense actually. And perhaps if you just took the time to read this and open your heart to the idea that maybe I'm telling the truth here and no going on some ego trip, you know, maybe you could have some compassion for me. Most people say they would not enjoy being the president. I really am trying to make your life better here. It's not the kind of freedom that allows you to do absolutely anything you want. Everything has limits. It would take votes to enact what I'm suggesting. If the majority of people are insistent that they are going to keep their 40+ hour a week jobs so they can get fancy electric cars so that they can just get in them anytime they want to get their groceries and drive to the mountains or the beach and that they don't care about the environment and all that, well, I can't stop that. I'm suggesting that 50% of us outright quit our jobs for good. We can just let computer automation take over this management and HR stuff. It can just have some stupid algorithm that has the rand() function in it to make a choice for who works the Monday morning shift on the Amazon delivery truck. We can just make some Craigslist style business directory, if we even need such a thing, so that we can eliminate all these advertising jobs. We can just give everyone a food stamp card. You all are going to eat today anyway and all these credit cards are just a form of busy work. We can just eliminate those payment machines and those cash machines at the grocery store. Those 50% of people can stay at home, without a car and do whatever they want. You could watch TV all day. You can get on your bike and haul soda pop home from the store all day. You can stay at home and smoke marijuana all day and play video games. Or perhaps you can ride your bike to a restaurant and put in a shift making coffee for people or play a game of GO at the coffee shop. You know, not limitless ideas, but there is some freedom in that, isn't there?

I made this yesterday:
2024 - Rachel Lydia Rand Radio Commercial:

The music in that was mostly recorded about 17 years ago. I've been doing this sort of thing every day, mostly without pay, for over 3 decades. If I get elected to congress, I have no intent on stopping my creative process. You know, there are people who do serious work in the world. I am an nerdy engineer. There is a funny side to me. It's hard for me to watch drag performers. Perhaps people have a similar reaction with me? I wrote the other day that love is an act of discrimination. I think it is enough to just say I love this thing and do your best to tolerate the rest. It seems that it makes sense to expore the things that you don't like...

And that leads right back to doing the dishes! Who likes doing the dishes? It's just some stupid chore that needs to be done. When I chose to start transcribing music every day when I was 20 years old, I had no skills at all. I started with hearing one interval. One note going to another note. I would first ask myself "Is the second note higher, lower, or the same as the first note?" And then once I had an answer, the next question was "How much higher is it? Is it more than an octave? Is it less than a 5^th?" That's engineering work. That is STEM work. I don't know how manipulated and guided my life has been. But I do know that I did that work. I wanted to get back in the music game. I wanted to be a composer more than a master instrumentalist. I came up with a plan and dedicated 6 hours a day of unpaid time for it. I took inventory and got honest with where my skills were. And then I worked on the next thing that would make me better. That's all anyone can do.

I can find myself bragging about having traveled the world. Like I say in the older Q&A Platform of mine, there wasn't much to see around the world. They had cell phones in Africa in the 90's. I rode a bicycle in Pretoria South Africa and stopped to have coffee in an upscale coffee house in 1998. How is that any different that what I can do in the neighborhood I'm currently in?

I'm a performer. I get extremely nervous and agitated being in an audience. Sometimes I get nervous on stage. When stage fright hits, my mouth gets dry and it is hard to play the trombone. It's way better than being in an audiece though. I feel like a prisoner in an audience. I'm actually not even exagerating by saying that I prefer solitary confinement over being in an audience. In solitary confinement I can move around a little bit and have some freedom over what I'm doing. I actually started writing my autobiography in solitary confinement in a jail after being falsely arrested for mistaken identity. It's all in my book in || on. That was actually one of the best moments of my life. I put my pen down after writing for a few days and said to myself "When you get out of here, make it beautiful. Buy a new car or buy a house." Two months later, I moved into my house and this last decade has been the best decade of my life. And where I am in life now is that with being out as transgender and being out with my politics, I'm finally not hiding anything. I am myself full time now and selling my house will allow me to do "my work" (political candidate/politician, musician, software engineer, curry chef), 24/7 for the next 4 years. I'd love to keep the house. I think it is ridiculous having to drive all over the place to meet people in person. It goes against my platform. Going back in the closet with all this stuff is not an option for me though.

I'm going to use an analogy here to describe our options for addressing our population reduction problem...

I was diagnosed with NAFLD (non-alcoholic fatty liver disease). I was prediabetic with a 5.9 A1C. I was prescribed rapid weight loss and they left it to me to take care of it. I came up with the idea of a calorie restricted diet with no exercise. It was grueling work that persisted for years, but it worked. I weighed 195 in 2011 and I weighed 135 today. My A1C dropped to 5.1 years ago. It was absolutely worth all the hell I went through to lose the weight. At least it was for me. I still step on a scale every day and take my weight seriously so that I can remain off the diabetic rolls.

A few years ago, I was having a problem with high blood pressure. I started getting some spider veins in my legs. Some nights I could feel my blood pounding through my body so hard that I couldn't get to sleep. I figured out that the recipes in 660 Curries had twice the recomended daily allowance of salt than the recommended of 1,800mg/day. Since I cooked 100% of my diet, I was in complete control over how much salt I eat, so I started measuring one teaspoon per quart of curry. Problem solved. Compared to losing weight, this was an easy fix that I could do immediately.

It's the same thing with decreasing population. Condoms suck, but they are an easy fix like measuring less salt. With all the things we make and throw away in this society, I'm sure we have the capacity to make some condoms. Abortions suck too. They really suck, but we have the technology and it works.

The tough way here is to make solar panels, wind "turbines" and batteries to support 10 billion people.

Another way to look at it is that we can continue the rat race until oil runs out and then let all hell break loose, or we can give up the rat race, decrease our population and have a world music and sports party that lasts for 40 years, and then try to survive with a lower population. To me, this is easy math and logic.

I'm doing this transgender experiment. Our transgender community is diverse. As I described in my Drugs, Sexuality, Respect stickie, I've always strived to have the body of a female swimsuit model. Some people feel they were born in the wrong body. There is this whole diverse LBGTQ+ community out there. The very first regular season episode on my Star Trek original series DVD is called The Man Trap. The testosterone blocker that I take looks like the salt tablets in that episode. I saw a trigger in my VA doctor's office on my last appointment written on their whiteboard "salt peter". Perhaps that is all it is. I use an estradiol patch as well. I've never been attracted to me. Some people I've been talking with lately think the concept of being attracted to a specific gender is a dated idea. When I was exposed to gay people when I got out of the Navy, most of them told me that they had always been attracted to men. I can't relate to that at all, but since I feel I am attracted to women, I have some understanding when someone says they are attracted to a gender, so I don't discount what they say.

The second epidsode is Charlie X. And of course I get all triggered and think I am special because of the Yoeman Rand connection. I have a signed copy of Grace Lee Whitney's The Longest Trek: My Tour of the Galaxy. Back to this transgender experience of mine though. I was masterbating daily most of my life until I started taking the feminizing HRT. On day one of taking it, I ceased to have morning erections. I was amazed on that first day at the sense of calm that I got from that and it grew every day after that. So for me, that was a big part of the experience. Taking that literal pressure off. I didn't masterbate for a year, then I gave it a try in the fall of 2023. I did it 3 times and then decided I did not want to continue that. Then I tried again this week. My experience this week was a little more pleasant. It would be nice to have a female or transwoman partner again and I might possibly want to be sexual with her. I get the feeling that my sperm is dead and not coming back. I don't know what the physical downside of that is. I suspect that women experienced a physical downside from birth control pills and IUD's. Perhaps this form of male birth control is a better way?

I'm not a doctor. At least not an MD. I feel that I have earned an honoray master's degree in music and software engineering. I don't think I'd be comfortable accepting honorary doctorate degrees. I'm spread pretty thin between an art and a science. Biology is not a subject that I am a master in. I'm a transwoman and I've been coming around to the concept that transwomen are women. When I am with a transwoman romantically, I see her as a woman. I know she was born as a man, but my mind is able to bypass that for some reason. That's been my experience. I found myself in a love triangle with two transwomen last summer and that is still working itself out to some degree.

A big part of my story is having relationships with older women. One of my partners was 10 years older than me, one was 18 years older, one was 19 years older and one was even 30 years older. I enjoy being with older women, especially if they have been taking care of their bodies.

The population reduction I'm suggesting is pretty massive, but I hope you hear loud and clear that I am not suggesting that everyone stop having children. 1/4 the replacement rate still adds up to a lot of people having children. I suppose that one child per woman, the 3 thing, is the most rational way to decrease population civilly, but I feel that we've gotten past that being fast enough. I think 1/4 is necessary. It might even be better if we dipped even a little lower than that.

The women in two official marriages did not want to have children. I was a little disappointed in that, but it was not what ended our relationships. I've always been driven to get my music to a stage where I'm a solid composer. At the age of 53, I'm finally at a place where I've got my music where I want it to be. I've had some paranoid moments about the karmic reality of not having children. But you know, I relate to having a Zen background and I shake it off pretty fast and get in the now with my cooking and music. And political writing. It would be ideal if I could be a successful politician just writing on my computer like I am now instead of having to travel all over the world counting nuclear fission plants. I might trust those devices and numbers more if I saw them, but I don't think that does anything to my politics. If I get elected, I'll make the trip to DC, rent a reasonably small apartment and try to fill it full of transgender youth. I want to be a leader of that generation. I want to inspire them to be strong bicyclists and to eat a healthy rice based diet. I'd likely be skipping some sessions of congress. I think more on the executive level than the legislative level. The vice-president gig is my ideal gig. A non-voting member of congress. Hopefully I'd have some freedom in my routine. I'm not interested in flying around in air force one. I like the idea of one of my transgender friends who has 28 years of experience as an Air Force mechanic to take the Air Force One engine apart with a bunch of transgender youth and have her explain to us what she knows about it. Maybe we could play music on it in the parking lot? I think outside of the box like that. This booming airline and cruise industry is absolutely insane in my mind and I would like to see it end.

I guess I'm getting off of the subject of birth control now. I've outlined some of my thoughts on it. We've got multiple tools here and we all have our own choices to make. As I see it, one choice we do not have is whether to reduce population or not. I think mother nature is firmly in control of that and will dictate that we reduce population. The first thing I say on my website is "Keeping a civil society in the drawdown years." Some people want war and conflict. The world is not perfect like that. I think there are way more of us who want a civil world though. I encourage you to take my platform seriously and get on board with this idea that society can be different. I world music and sports party that lasts for 40 years isn't that bad of a reality. Basically what you need to do to make that happen is to figure out how to give up your car, work less and have less children. Give me your vote and decrease population and I'll take the lead in congress to find solutions to the economic part of keeping us in our housing.

* Update 2024-04-30 A checkin with my gender doctor brought up the fact that testosterone blockers are not birth control. I'm coming around to the idea of having surgery again. Although I have this thing in my mind that I've been trained to do the mission to Mars, I have my doubts as to what that is all about. I don't believe that the Mars mission is about colonization. We just don't have enough energy down here to make that happen. If it is a seeding Mars thing or a thing about leaving a high tech show/artifact of advanced humanity, then I'm totally down for that mission. If it is simply some reality TV show, well, I can't say that I'm totally against that idea. If we did all of this technology thing over the past couple hundred years to get to Mars simply to say we went and make a reality TV show, then I'm pretty disappointed in the whole thing. It seems like we have paid a huge price for that. I personally like how my politics and website cross all these political topics together. Population reduction, male fertility, technology, space, frugality, Little House on the Prairie, Acid Jazz Music, etc... etc... etc...

I'm just randomly smashing cool assets together, right?

Creature, Love, Object (Forge), Radiate

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When it comes to music with lyrics, I mostly followed Sting and Rush. I didn't listen to the radio much growing up. I never made a mix tape by recording from the radio onto cassette. I would go to the used record stores with my jazz music friends. I had Exit Stage Left, Moving Pictures, Signals and Power Windows on record. Before getting into jazz, I had a collection of Iron Maiden and AC/DC on cassette. Once I got into jazz, I mostly stopped listening to those. I also had some Van Halen. By the time I was a teenager, it was almost all jazz except for those Rush albums. I had Permanent Waves and Hold Your Fire on cassette. Marge was heavily into Bring on the Night. I was into Black Codes (from the underground).

We listened to David Liebman's What it is. Miles Davis' Amandla and Siesta. Joe Henderson's The Elements with Alice Coltrane. I turned 21 and didn't even think about going to a bar. I started going to the bar on the corner next to my house a few months ago just as a way to get out of the house. I'm not too into the scene there and mostly keep to myself. I'm more of a high class piano bar type of girl. I didn't even consider buying alcohol when I turned 21. The first time I went to a bar was when I was in the Navy. I probably went to bars about 15 times in my 20's while I was in the Navy. Bar music and culture is pretty odd to me. Perhaps I'm just a stuck up snob, but I'm not into that and never will be.

Church culture doesn't do it for me either. I enjoy that thick gospel influence in some jazz music, but I don't live in that world. After a while, it gets to be too much listening to that and I go back to Rush's lydian rock. I guess my culture and style is really inbred. I admittedly say that I live in a vacuum. I don't know what else to do. I have been unsuccessful at finding a culure out in the world that I enjoy, so I create my own.

I don't have a direct connection with Sting. I went to his website daily for 28 years and read from his Summoner's Tales. My dot trombone site was based on that and I picked up the digital theme from the Ghost in the Machine cover. When I was playing with Spencer in the late 90's, we often put on Zenyatta Mondatta and jammed to that. You can see the CD in the pictures of our studio that I share once in a while.

After getting out of the Navy, I was posting on my site that I had played a gig with Ray Charles. I'm not sure how many people picked up on that, but there is this scene in the Ray movie with the socks where he mentions "four", and I think that is likely a reference to me. You get a lot of background parts when you play trombone, but on day one when I showed up at the Navy band, they were giving me improvised solos. I'm a soloist and the movie The Soloist might have been influenced by my time on the streets. Ayers is that guy who injected me with meth. It was one of two times that I did meth and he scared me really good that day. He played accordion and we got naked together. He had huge hands and feet and I learned the feminine feel of having a big strong man like that holding me. We were in the bathtub naked. He was laying on his back and he was holding me above him. He was also the first man I've kissed. We both had stubble on our faces and my thought was that I would never experience that with a lady. Overall, I could have done without that experience, but it was interesting. It's all in my book.

I signed up as a member of Sting's fan club in 2008. I added my website address as part of my profile. After posting that I was running for president in 2014, well, sometime in there, I started noticing that Sting was responding to the posts on my site with the posts on his site. Was it just a delusion? Was it someone altering the communication between our sites? I've had a decade to ponder all of this. I suspect that the truth is much bigger than it appears. I sent him a video asking for his endorsement in the 2020 election and did not get a response from him. I think I missed an opportunity to record a duet with him after that. After that, I started breaking out of my comfort zone and started playing with a Rush cover band. Learning to sing and play those Rush songs was a key development in my life. I wasn't all that good at transcribing chords until I did that.

I like the themes of the lyrics, but I'm mostly in it for the "music" for lack of a better word. I'm a soloist. I love playing solo piano and this solo piano music I've been recording is a dream come true for me. I just had the scene in Contact where Ellie says "if I have to go it alone, I'll go it alone. I've done it before." Then she is in the desert. In the rock. Test for Echo.

Here is something I did back in 2003:

I'm enjoying Gary Dye's Ballotpedia page. Does Portland have the guts to put us on the ballot together or would they rather see me sell my house and start running for President on May 22nd? I haven't read The Fountainhead, but I'm very much into the erotica of Anthem. The chase for resources. I've latched onto Jamiroquai's Butterfly song. I played bass to their High Times song in all the rock gigs that we played when I toured South America in the Navy. Butterfly is a better song. I'm using my transcriber app to slow it down to make it extra funky and spacey. I like playing my concert snare drum to it.

I'm just randomly smashing cool assets together, right?

Creature, Love, Object (Forge), Radiate

---

Of course I've been influenced by drugs. That was a long time ago though. I incorporated it with meditation, healthy eating and dedicated music practice. The drug vibe is something I can tap into without doing it much like my body has muscle memory to play the trombone.

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4am, 4:30am, 4:34am. I've been getting up at 4am for 40 years. You know, not every day, but it has been a long going theme with me. It's a culture shock to see other people having a hard time getting up in the morning. I guess I beat this pattern into myself. In high school, I'd set my alarm for 4am. I had taken my clock apart and took the plastic snooze bar out of my clock. 4:40am. I setup that habit in high school of jumping out of bed, getting a shower and then sitting on the floor and meditating before starting my day. I was doing that pretty heavily in the Navy as well. I like getting a good hour of mediation in before I get to playing my trombone warmup and then I like being early to everything after that. I guess I've been abnormally driven like that.

After feeling rejected musically by the Navy when Commander Keller took me off of the solo with Chuck Mangione by saying that I had a garage style and then being humiliated by my wife in the bedroom on Y2K, I ended up telling the Navy that I was smoking pot every day. I started smoking pot when I got back from the South American tour in 1998. The alcohol had done a number on me. I was drinking it as a replacement for smoking pot and I was just over that. I was terrible at drinking and almost always ended up with the room spinning and then violently vomitting. Pot is a meditative experience. I was growing it and enjoyed that process. I grew from seed. I'd let the crop come in and then shut the operation down and smoke for a few months. I'd then let my stash run out before starting a new crop. I enjoyed the seasons of that. I would smoke a bowl in the morning during my morning meditation. I'd drink a cup or two of espresso. I'd just let the machine do a long pull until I had a half cup of espresso and then I would put white sugar in it. After two cups, I'd switch to water. The Navy took months to kick me out. They drug tested the band in the morning several times during that period. I was openly smoking pot in the Navy. People would ask "why are you still here?" I may have never tested positive. I was only smoking a couple bowls a day and I had pissed 3 or 4 times before leaving to go to work in the morning. I told them the same story over and over again. I was getting sick on the alcohol and the marijuana was working better for me. I just want to be accepted as a marijuana smoker in the Navy. I loved my job. They would offer me drug treatment and I'd decline. There is nothing wrong with me. Some of my bandmates would ask me "why didn't you just tell them that you were gay?" I always thought that was an odd question. I'm attracted to women and I smoke pot. Looking back on it now, I guess I do behave in a stereotypically gay way. It's no surprise to me that I'm a transwoman. I didn't know what that was back then. There was something in the back of my mind about it, but I avoided researching it because I felt that it would just be a bad medical outcome. I like being healthy.

They eventually kicked me out of course. When I got back to Portland, I bought about 2 ounces of pot in the first 6 months. After that, I was completely out of money and homeless and that ended up fixing me of any marijuana addiction that I had. I fought addiction pretty hard in my life. My dad was a recovering alcoholic and he put me through drug treatment for smoking marijuana in high school. I enjoyed the recovery literature. The self help mentality. I latched on to taking inventory and mindfulness. I made a point in high school to not develop relationships with drug dealers. I'd do drugs if they found me, but I would not spend time seeking them. That was probably my main tool for fighting addiction. After becoming poor in my early 30's, I wound up in some scary situations with hard drugs and those scared me into a position of wanting to learn to say no in some situations. That can be a hard skill to develop. In the recovery meetings that I go to, I say that I used drugs and alcohol about 30 times in my 30's. It's probably a little more than that if you consider every bowl of marijuana and glass of wine, but it's pretty close. I was calling myself a dry drunk when I got off of the streets. I suppose I work alcoholicly. I enjoy working more than doing drugs. It's simply more fun and healthy. There is the potential at making money from it while it always costs to do alcohol and drugs. If my work has a low environmental footprint, then I don't see the harm in working a lot even if it doesn't pay or have some big use for other people.

I've enjoyed making my apps. This DT Picture Viewer is a great program. I've been using it 40x a day for about a decade now. That's pretty damn useful! I've been using my DT Virtual Accounts software daily for 3 years. I start my day by entering in yesterday's transactions from the store receipts that I save in my wallet. I step on the bathroom scale every morning. I weighed in at 132 yesterday. That is my ideal weight and I've worked hard to get here and maintain this. The hardest thing I ever did was lose 60 pounds with a starvation diet over the course of several years. I had such good eating habits before I was homeless. I chose drinking soda pop over drinking soda pop and whisky after getting off of the streets. It was the better choice, but soda pop is corn and it messed up my body and I wound up getting non-alcoholic fatty liver disease. The liver is the most resilent organ in the body, but it does take time to heal. They took it off of my medical record a few years ago. I still have a little bit of a belly from it. I'm a perfect candidate for liposuction, but I've been hesitant to do it. I got to the point a year ago where I was basically making the decision not to do it and just accept my belly as a reminder of what I had done to myself. With the 20 hour days lately and my weight staying low, I swear my belly is looking a little better.

I've always wanted the body of a female swimsuit model. I just latch onto that as the ideal body. I don't want to be overly muscularly toned. I don't want to be skin and bones. I want to be as thin as I can be but still not be skin and bones. Anyway. Those are some of the things that drive me. I'm very much into the physical world. I was blessed with the experience of riding my bicycle for transportation through the west hills of Portland when I was 20 years old. I strongly encourage children to ride bicycles of all types. Drugs and alcohol were no fun for me after the age of 30. It took me a while to figure that out. Too long, but I'm persistant and got the message when it counted. I ate one of my roommates edibles a couple months ago by accident. I was feeling weird and had cottonmouth. I was wondering why I was feeling like that and then realized that was a marijuana high. So then I enjoyed it the best I could, but I basically was just ignoring it. OK, I'm high, no big deal. I'll just get on with my evening. My sobriety has grown to a state where I honestly don't want to be intoxicated. I work to have the healthiest feeling I can in the moment. Food is a big deal to me. Dancing and stretching. I'm getting that raver twist going on again. I get a giggly little girl feeling in me. I've always loved that. Music is fun.

5:18am. Time for coffee, music and flyer making. Not sure how effective the flyers are, but I enjoy making them and they are innocent enough. I'm only making a few thousand of them. If people don't send me emails, I have no way of knowing if they are having any effect. I can appreciate that people don't get so interested in politics. I hope people understand how game changing my politics are. I'm trying to lead a pretty radical change here. I'm trying to get people to realize that China may just shut down production here. Do you think they want to continue working at this clip and keep up this pollution thing? Do they want to swap countries with us so we can work the machines? It sickens me to say it, but I don't think Americans are up to the task of working those machines. I relate to the Asian production mindset. I think they did all that as an act of love for the world. I hope they are proud of their work. This is amazing stuff. To Americans I say, be appreciative of all we have here. Take care of what you have. You may not be getting any more of this stuff. I need your vote of support, but I'm just a messenger in this whole thing. It should be a choice of chosing to remain civil over chosing a dystopian war world. Don't think that it couldn't happen. Pay attention to my writing and this future world I'm describing. These computers give us access to the best art and culture from around the world. It's easy to fall in the trap of thinking that you will never be as good as that. It takes work to get good at something. Consuming internet content is a passive activity. Writing is a productive activity. Consuming and producing are both important.

Assume that once these laptop computer batteries die, then you'll not be getting a new battery and you'll be plugging it in all the time. They were made to do that. They are made to last. I think the software side of things is pretty ridiculous. Voting for me is a vote to try to solve this software security problem. Money and theft is the problem. Hackers. Security patches. It's completely absurd. It's wonderful what we are doing with all this video, but maintaining these server farms can't be an enjoyable task. These phones are amazing. I use mine as a camera mostly. I send a few text messages. I use the mapping function a couple times a year at most. I used to leave it at home, but I've been taking it in my purse lately. My purse has a zipper. I don't want to drop the thing. I don't like fiddling with it. I don't know if I'll get another phone when this one dies. I like my computers.

OK, I've hit the rambling stage now. You get the idea.

5:48pm I got a couple more hours of sleep. I was exhausted. Feeling better. Sold my BX8 speakers. They were excellent sutdio monitors that I bought in 2006. I made many good recordings and jams with those speakers. I'm using a Mackie 12" Thump PA speaker now. It works well with my bass and keyboard. I decided to keep my living room Polk Audio speakers and Alesis RA-100 amp instead of the BX8's. The amp is making a background noise that is undesirable but has grown into having special meaning for me. The speakers stand 3' tall and having the speakers off of the floor has some intrinsic value. They sound great, but I can't play my bass through them too well. I tend to play my mp3's on them and then play my bass and keyboard through the single PA speaker. That's good for this round of production and I'm trying to lighten the load around here.

My stir fry from last night was excellent and Andy and I had that for the first part of our breakfast. Then we had oatmeal and short grain brown rice. We are navigating the waters of where to go from here. I'm still waiting for my first donation. I'm not in this to get rich at all. Yes, I am in it for fame. I figure fame will allow me to make more of what I do and have some kind of power to help out in the world. I've studied a long, long time to perform this government service duty. I'm looking for donations to pay my basic bills and have enough to foster the scene I need to make these changes in the world. I want to get elected and get that government paycheck. My calculations say that I would have to do the DC job for 10 years before I earn enough money to have any kind of retirement where I didn't have to work for money. I like reading financial articles in the USA Today and it's very much a culture shock reading about people talking about needing a million or even a couple million to retire. My calculations say that I can live the rest of my life without working if I earn another $900,000 in the next decade. That would be a relatively frugal retirement with next to no vacation travel. I'd be able to afford my ideal lifestyle of cooking food and doing my music/political thing around the house. If I get elected, the DC job is about $200,000/year. I'd have to maintain two residences though. So I would earn $2 million in 10 years and then have those higher expenses of housing in two cities and all that comes with the DC job. It's a decent job like that. It meets my needs. It would be great if donations started coming in. It would be a physical sign of support and get me on this path of being a professional. Even a $20 donation would be a huge deal to me. I mean that quite literally. With what I've been through, I may even cry getting my first official $20 donation. Virtually anyone can afford to do that.

As a software engineer, I'd have to have a 6 figure job for a decade to get to that level of retirement by the time I am 64. There is a level of guilt with me for doing white collar work. I am well aware that there is someone in a field planting, picking and attending to a cauliflower for me today. All kinds of other people in society contributed to make the wood for my house and even the construction of it. I've done some relatively fluffy work. I'm an educator of sorts. There are people out there who are graduating high school this year who grew up playing my educational games. Isaac and I coded the Sid the Science Kid website and games. I did the Pet Rescue Hotel. The Antarctica Factor. Fish for 20. I remember a game with tree stumps that had fractions and decimals on them. I probably coded about 30 games like those. That work paid my bills for two years. I coded the framework for the first Learning.com app. I was talking with someone in an interview setting a couple years ago and they commented "you coded their flagship product for $5,000?" Yes, it's true. I did that more than once. Perhaps I'm a push over. Money doesn't mean much to me. In Star Trek TNG, Picard often talks about how they don't use money. The more evolved my politics get the more I see that as a real possibility.

I've had some triggers in my environment that make me ponder whether cash is any better or worse than debit cards and other online systems. Sam seems to do everything with cash. It seems pretty ridiculous. I do all my Craigslist deals with cash. I pay all my bills by logging into the companies websites and filling out their payment forms. The only thing I have on autopay is my Amazon Prime membership. I don't really need the prime membership, but I appreciate Amazon and get value from their work. I want them to continue their work. Just because I have a prime membership doesn't mean that it is an excuse to use it as much as I can to get all the value out of it. I've bought some printing supplies lately and I had some 2" heels delivered today. I've got a new pair of Tevas coming tomorrow. I'll likely order more printing supplies soon. I'm running a major political campaign and it's more than reasonable to be spending $300/month to make some personalized flyers. I'd like to step up operations here and have people making flyers with me. We might spend a little bit more then, but I can only have so many people in my house and I'm not limiting this campaign to Portland. I'd like to send flyers out randomly all over the country. Signed, stamped flyers. I'm a production worker like that. Not so good at social networking or consuming media. I like being active and work to be respected enough to get enough financial support to continue my fairly minimalistic campaigning efforts. It helps ground me and keep my political thinking going.

I learn something new everyday. One thing I learned yesterday is to set the quart jar of kraut in one of my curry bowls instead of just setting it on the counter. That may seem like a no-brainer, but for whatever reason, I just thought of it yesterday. This is probably the 8th batch I've made in my life. All the others I had on the counter by the sink and would clean up the overflow fermented water with a sponge and deal with that mess. The curry bowl is a combination of a plate and a bowl much like a spork. It's perfect for my curries and I eat all my curries with a teaspoon. I have a fancy pants teaspoon now that I keep in my purse. I pull that out in restaurants and when I'm eating at home. It's an interesting idea having restaurants not put out silverware. Perhaps things like that would be the best political advertising I can get. People asking where the silverware is and them responding that Ms. Rand suggested that we encourage people to bring their own silverware. Is that a silly self-centered promotional idea? I see some logic in it.

That's what politics are to me.

* This post on 2024-04-11 is yet another stickie. I guess this is my full coming out moment. I just posted two takes of an improvisation I'm calling Cycles. I've had it looping for a few days and like having access to Andy's drum set to play along with it. Anyway, read this stickie and you'll know all about me and where these politics are headed. I know it's long. Slogans can be kind of hollow without anything behind it.

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I've just got to post this here...

That scene in Contact where Jay Leno says "So it turns out that there is life on other planets. This is really going to change the Miss Universe contest!" How do they come up with this stuff?>??!!)_U
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2:22am I got a couple hours of sleep and awoke to the very end of Contact playing on my Panasonic Blu-ray player and my 32" Sharp dumb full HDTV. I thought about how our cars are quite literally our time machines. They allow us to experience things that we wouldn't if we didn't have them. I wouldn't necessarily say that they allow us to pack more into a day. While in a car, you are mostly just sitting there. I don't know about you, but I enjoy the act of driving a car. Floating around the city like that with absolutely no exertion. And even listening to music! These machines have taken me all over the world as I talked about in the Synopsis section of my Platform 2023-08-17. I played in symphony concert halls across Europe in 1989, 2 weeks in Africa in 1998 and 4 months in South America but mostly on a Navy destroyer in 1998. After the Navy, I drove across the country three times in my GEO Metro. I used to walk past the propeller and jet engines quite regularly on the runways. I spent 6 hours bicycling by myself in Pretoria South Africa in 1998. I stopped for lunch at an upscale coffeeshop. It was exotic and yet it was something I could have done almost anywhere in the world.

The TV is an amazing device. It is a time machine too allowing us to learn things at an accelerated rate. Don't fool yourself, the internet might as well be called TV. With the invention of the internet, we have become ultra-diversified in our learning and culture. With all the cultures and knowledge at our fingertips, we get to make some choices as to what we learn. This has made us hyper individualized and even more distant from the people around us.

The problem with cars, TV and internet is that you are just sitting there not moving. All in your head. I've found that the best learning I did was with buying cook books. I've bought about 10 cookbooks in my life. Most of the food I cook came from 3 of those books and by far the majority came from 660 Curries by Raghavan Iyer. I've got to eat anyway and I enjoy being active with it and the curries and cooking in general has become a huge part of my culture. Virtually all the pasta I've had at home in the last 7 years was something I made with my KitchenAid mixer and pasta attachments. It's just eggs, flour, water and salt.

And now I'm getting into active politics... I've been coming up with the theory lately that any uncooked wet flour that goes down my kitchen sink may be making the sewer system worse. Virtually all the bread I've consumed in the last 7 years was made in my bread machine. I've noticed that when I use the bread machine to bake the bread, I'm not left with any of that dough to clean up. When I clean the bread machine (mine has two paddles), I use a q-tip or small brush to clean the insides of the paddles. I scrape the two spindles with my fingernails. There is a little round bit of cooked dough around the base of the spindle that gets wet and soggy. I think the soggy, cooked dough is not nearly as bad on the drains as the wet uncooked dough.

And that my friends, is politics. The engineering considerations of food, clothing and shelter. Of course politics encompasses more than that. We also have the engineering considerations of healthcare, education and entertainment. And we also have the politics of social interaction and income distribution. It's much like the food pyramid with food and clothing at the bottom and social interaction and income distribution at the top. I get frustrated hearing people talking about politics because there is so much focus on things that don't matter all that much.

People tend to harp on income distribution. They get all crazy about raising the minimum wage. We've done an excellent job at leveling the playing field folks. Virtually everyone has access to the same internet and most of us have it in our pockets. Virtually everyone has access to good food, plumbing, recipes, musical instruments and sports equipment. Perhaps my primary instrument has become the pennywhistle. You can buy an Acorn Pennywhistle on Amazon for less than $11. I've been playing one of these for nearly 40 years. You could say that they are a lot like a kazoo when you get to my level of playing on them. But they are fretted. I have an Eb whistle that I never play. It has been sitting in a drawer next to my pocket Declaration of Independence and Constitution for 20 years. If a song is in Eb, I've got my work cut out for me to try to play something on it on my D pennywhistle. It's not a good way to make money. I made $60 busking with it in downtown Seattle in 2003. $60 in two weeks playing outside a small store downtown that was playing jazz music on the radio outside. I just played the melodies to jazz standards that I had memorized from my Navy days. I'm much, much better on the instument now. I've had one sitting next to me at my computer for the last 20 years. If you do an interview with me, you'll likely see me twirling it around. When I'm walking through the neighborhood with it, I use it to test my perfect pitch by transcribing the sounds in my environment. Perfect pitch is a game I've been playing with myself since the mid-90's. It can be seen as a skill that isn't worth the effort to develop. It is moderately useful for impressing people by being able to join in with playing to something without making a bad sound to start with. Everytime I do that, I'm simply making an educated guess. I know my voice is a tenor and therefore my bottom note is an Ab. I have a feel for what a Bb sounds like because it was the first note I played in the morning for 20 years. Some of the songs in my CD collection that I like singing to are familiar enough that I know the notes in them. This all helps at making that educated guess on the first note. If I had been a profession musician in the last quarter century, my ear would be much better than it is. As it is, it is still very impressive at what I'm able to do.

And that is my style. I do my best to make a decent contribution to society by working a job with the skills I have and then the rest of the time I'm mostly playing music and cooking. I have slightly fancy pants instruments. I can get by with just my $11 whistle, but it gets a little boring playing a whistle for 12 hours a day. I prefer to play one instrument for an hour or two and then switch to a different one. I've been doing it like that since the mid 1990's.

In my opinion, they give children those plastic recorders as a way to frustrate kids out of becoming musicians. And it's the same thing with those inexpensive keyboards. It's just a speaker and a circuit board. If all children were wowed with the sound that their keyboard makes, they may just play it a lot. And if everyone did that, who would take out the trash and fix the toilet? My EXE sticky post makes an interesting political point in how I had a problem with a clogged toilet. It was running through my mind that I may need to call Roto-Router. I had one of those cheap snakes. I didn't want to scratch up my toilet with it, but I gave it a try. No dice. I thought about it for a couple days. My one bedroom house has 3 toilets, so it wasn't an emergency. Water was draining out of the toilet, it was just draining really slow. It seemed that the blockage was in the toilet itself. So I applied Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance logic to it and unbolted it from the floor. The logic goes that if I make a mistake and break the damn thing, I may have to spend more money than I would have if I had called Roto-Router, but I would have learned a valuable lesson. I ended up putting the toilet in the clawfoot bathtub with the tank attached and then ran a normal garden hose from the back deck in there and managed to free the blockage. I put the toilet back and got it right the first time, but then I noticed a piece of the rubber wax ring under the bathtub. So I had to unbolt the toilet again and put it back on. I wasn't so lucky the second time around and it took 5 attempts to get the toilet in over the screws. It was a big hassle, but I got the job done. And I didn't spend a dime.

It's funny that I call it the EXE sticky, right? I also recorded that nice song and YouTube video that evening while I was fixing the toilet. This ties into my political campaign because we are in this phase of history where there are going to be significantly less young people than old people. We are not going to be making robots to perform the Roto-Router job. Even if we did, we would need someone to build the robot. That is sci-fi crap that isn't going to happen. So what we are left with is people having to take care of their place on their own like I did the other night. If we can stop doing a bunch of these jobs that don't matter anymore, then we'll have more time to leverage the power of the internet to get jobs like this done on our own. I'm handy enough that I didn't need to watch a video to do that. I admit that I was taking a bit of a risk by not watching a video. I stuttered on that decision and chose the more risky route. I'm handy enough and my roof is accessible enough, that I'll be able to install new shingles up there on my own when the time comes. I've started building a stairway to make carrying shingles up there an easier process. The stairway cost a couple hundred dollars and I enjoyed making my first set of stair runners. I mean I was really proud of that work! All you need is a circular saw. It'll take a lot of effort to replace my roof myself, but I'll manage as long as I'm not working 40 hour weeks.

Politics.

I must admit that it is frustrating seeing what is going on with our society. Some people are working so much that they don't have the time/energy to cook their own meals or mow their own grass. Others are so strung out on drugs that they can't contribute anything to society. People enjoy listening to all this perfect music on the radio so much that they don't appreciate fine jazz musicians who live in their neighborhoods. And I totally get it. I know many musicians in my neighborhood and my style doesn't work so well with them. I can play with them if I had to, but I prefer playing by myself in my living room. Making recordings and posting them for free on my website like I've always done. I get a lot of flac for that, but what is the harm in it? Am I only legitimate if I surrender some of my style, buy a car and haul my gear to a club every night to play blues music that the people want to hear? For $50/night? And then have to claim disablity to get enough money to pay for a crappy little apartment where I can't even play my trombone because my neighbors on the other side of the wall are sleeping? It's just fucked for us musicians like that and it is a driving force of my politics to want to change the system.

My position on marijuana is that I'm strongly for it. It's been a huge positive influence in my life. I enjoyed smoking pot and zoning out practicing music when I was younger. Now that I'm older, I appreciate that meditative quality to my music. I don't get high anymore. I don't have the desire to. I don't want to hurt my lungs. I've become focused on wind pollinated plants and vegetables. We've been hearing for decades about how the bees are struggling. I've been enjoying eating those sesame sticks. Those sesame seeds are like a grass seed, right? A machine crop. They say that cotton is bee pollinated. If we can't do that anymore, then we are left with synthetic materials and hemp. I don't think that I'm some political genius working all by myself. I choose to believe that I've been braiding hemp for the last 20 years because there is someone teaching me some political point. I have very little direct evidence of this. Certainly nothing you would believe. I've been convinced though. I'm asking you to consider voting for me because I make sense. If people are helping me, they may stop at any time. I have done a lot of work to get here and can carry the message myself. I live my platform. I'm not the only politician in the world. It's frustating seeing the things that pass for politics these days. I do all of this writing so that you can make a judgement about how I think. I'm confident that I'm winning this race. I'm confident that my proposals are the thing we need to be doing at this juncture in history. I'm confident because I'm constantly questioning it and reworking it. I'm confident that I'm not going to be batting 1,000 as well. It's a fucking fabulous day when I'm getting 50% right. I'm not the only person in the world. I think that my proposals are better than what most politicians are currently suggesting, not just in this race but around the country. I've been given the gift of being the whistleblower. We need to reverse course here and start a new society game. It seems like the time is now and not in 2028. Like Biden is fond of saying.... Are you with me?

3:59am This stuff takes time to do. It took me one hour and forty minutes to type this. I'm doing this on my own dime folks. This is professional level national politics. I deserve to be paid for this. I missed my mortgage payment this month and the 15 day grace period is over in 4 days. Please donate to my campaign. Even $20 would be a huge help and vote of support.

6:33am I reviewed my post a few times. I did some political research. I took a shower. Then I put some ingredients in the bread machine to make hoagie rolls. Then I cut up a head of cabbage and shredded it in the food processor and filled up a jar to make sauerkraut in. I use the krautsource device that fits onto a wide mouth mason jar. I've got a Zoom meeting to attend tonight a 6:30pm. Not much else going on today. I'm going to try to get some more sleep. 2 hours is not enough. I've been averaging 4 hours a night for 5 weeks now. That's almost as bad as Navy boot camp. Oh, I'll have to set the alarm on my Sharp alarm clock for 1:15 from now to get the dough out and form the rolls. That's life in the big modern prairie.

9:56am The alarm rudely woke me up at 7:50am. My Sharp clock is a plug in clock that is absolutely the perfect alarm clock. I have it on the other side of the room and it makes a really obnoxious noise. It has a 9v battery to keep the time going when the power goes out. I was questioning whether this would be a good purchase or not, but it has been fabulous. I wear a women's Timex with hands and it fits a little loose on my wrist. I use it extensively.

I formed the hoagie rolls, covered them with a towel I use specifically for breads and let it rise for a while. Then I went to my computer/stereo in the living room and used my mp3 iterator and looper program to make a playlist. I chose La Belle Dame Sans Regrets, Sad Trombone and For Her Love. That's a good piano warm up for me and I had fun playing those down. Andy has incredible drum chops and was showing them off last night. He was so loud that I couldn't hear my piano over him at all. I can appreciate that a short workout like that keeps his chops going. I went back to the stereo and chose Iron Maiden's Rime of the Ancient Mariner and Wasted Years. I've never played piano to Iron Maiden and I only put that stuff on once every few years for a bit of nostalgia. I enjoyed playing those down on the piano. Then I went back to the playlist and chose Billy Joel's The Piano Man, Allentown and Everybody has a Dream. I've worked on The Piano Man before and remembered that it is in C. That was the best I've ever played it. Love the five seven of five seven. Allentown was much harder. I didn't get much right on that one, but it was the first time I've played to it. I often would play it at the start of my workday, so it shouldn't be too hard to learn. Everybody has a Dream is a good one. I started listening to The Stranger about the time I got together with Cynthia.

The music was fun and then I remembered that I had to get back to the rolls. I lifted the towel and they didn't look like they had risen much. I'm out of potato flakes, so maybe that had something to do with it. They looked good though, so I set the oven for 375. I did some other cleaning around the house while I was waiting. Then I remembered that I need to do the glaze on them. So I get an egg yolk and add a dash of water and brush them with that. Then I got out my jar of poppy seeds and sprinkled those on. I did this last time and it turned out great. In the oven they went.

I kind of paced around the living room and read a little bit of what I wrote earlier. I always wanted to be a housewife. I used to say househusband. My first two wives didn't want children and I went along with that. Neither of them turned out to be good romantic partners and that basically killed those relationships. I think it was just basic incompatibility stuff. I think it is a thing. I enjoyed getting to know them intimately. They have colored my life in an amazing way.

The rolls came out of the oven with a perfect look to them. They look a little skinny, but they are long and uniformed looking. I've got some sausages in the fridge and some sauerkraut left from the last batch. No rush to eat that. I also transfered two curries to 4 quart jars from the metal pans I had in the fridge. I had forgotten about them in the freezer yesterday afternoon when I went to the post office to mail some laminated flyers. When I came back, the curries were frozen solid, so I had to let them thaw in the fridge overnight. By cooling them like this, they are like deli food and can be stored in the fridge for several weeks.

Now I'm back at the computer thinking about what to do with my day. I checked my email and there were a couple invites to political events that I accepted. My blogging here is very much like how Mr. Money Mustache did it. I mention him on my Ballotpedia listing. Perhaps I'm behaving more like a presidential candidate than a US Representative candidate? What is Maxine Dexter doing today? Is she doing state legislature work? Is she still doing medical work? I'm certainly still doing music and programming work. I can't stop doing that stuff. My political thinking depends on maintaining a "Rand" lifestyle.

I was able to get the mortage for my house from the work that I did for Fitwall and Malarkey Roofing Products. Mike Withycombe over at Malarkey credits my work for allowing their sales staff (about 50 people) to work from home during the pandemic. Apparently the system that I built them also allowed them to let one person retire and not have to fill that position as well. Before I started working for them in 2015, they were using fax machines to submit pricing variance requests. It seems silly to me how they do their pricing and sales. These are all old school handshake type deals. Who am I to say though? I guess there is competition in the shingle business and they have customers to retain.

I tried to get a software engineering job at Hampton Lumber a few years ago. I had a nice talk with their COO. We were both the same age and had similar Portland experiences that made for good converstation. I probably didn't get the job because most of my business programming experience is in PHP and not C#/SQL. Everywhere I looked for a job I ran into that problem, so I had to do yet another full year of programming study to learn how to be proficient in those Microsoft languages. And then I was able to get a decent job and finally earned the title of Software Engineer. I was still pretty green though, but my boss Ben Coate was a Visual Studio master and taught me everything he knew. It was amazing working for him. I felt bad about having to stop working with him. He was apparently positioning to make my programming a big part of his future at athenahealth. I boldly told him I was running for president. He went a little nuts on me, but you know, I really am doing this and I really am in the race, so I calmly talked him through it all. He knows me by my work. Ben and Vaishali are amazing programmers and it was a thrill showing up to work with them each day. I hope they are still doing well.

I don't know. Maxine and Susheela are getting donations. Why can't I get a donation? Is this not good enough yet? How much more do I have to do? I tried to arrange a meeting with Rodney McMullen, the CEO of Kroger, to discuss food politics with him and ask him for a donation. He didn't repsond to me. I've been working on getting a meeting with the Army Corps of Engineers to learn about the future of our structures on the river. Am I not respected enough to garner their attention yet? I was working on that in January. We had emails back and forth and then it just went silent. Should I ask for Sting's endorsement again? I sent him a video asking for his endorsement in February 2020. He didn't respond. It was kind of comical how serious I was in that video, but I was nervous. It was a big step for me. Everytime he comes into town, I feel that I have to be prepared to play La Belle Dame Sans Regrets because I feel he wrote Sad Trombone for me. He released Sad Trombone on 2018-04-20 about a month before the election. I was in the voters pamplet suggesting people work from home in 2018. The ballotpedia page for our race shows me in the primary races in 2018 and 2020. What exactly do I have to do to get a single $20 donation? I've mailed out over ten thousand flyers in previous campaigns. I sent two batches of 800 flyers to all the high dollar donators to Oregon federal candidates in January. Did they not go out? Does everyone think I'm nuts? Do people think we are going to build robots to do our plumbing for us? Did Sting tell the whole city to continue marginalizing me when he was in town last fall? What exactly is going on here? Am I a Dahlai Lama type person and no one can talk to me until I get a job at a bakery? I just don't get it.

10:43 Am I crazy to think that For Her Love was written for me? Am I crazy to think that I've been trained to be a world representative and go on a solo mission to Mars like Ellie did in Contact? Indian Curries and programming, Chinese rice and bicycling, African polyrythmic drumming, Latin trombone, American Jazz and Blues, Russian space stuff and Tetris clones, Japanese video games, Irish Pennywhistle, Scandanavian heritage, Italian pasta making, baking pies and dinner rolls, a Greek wife who taught me how to make Baklava. Am I just simply not Earth bound? It's not a new concept for me. I thought of this extensively when I was on the streets 20 years ago. Dealing with the idea of being this person doing this thing. Spending decades pacing in small rooms. Playing music with machines and recordings. Coding CNC machines and interacting with hardware. Fixing toilets. Installing HVAC systems with a master mechanic named Alan Poe. Cooking in a wok for 30 years. Perhaps I'm over qualified for president? Is that what is going on?

OK, OK. More numbers. It's 10:51am on 2024-04-11. Sorry for letting my frustration show again. Let me pull up my DT Virtual Accounts software...

I have $12.46 in my checking account. I have $10 in my business checking account and I have $24.70 in my Ms Rand for President business account. Andy gave me $100 in cash this morning for a total of $106 in my wallet. I have 9 quarts of fresh curries in the fridge. I have 10 hoagie rolls on the counter. I have a 5 pack of sausages in the meat drawer. I've got all the equipment I could possible want. I sold my 12" miter saw, portable table saw, compressor/framing nailer/finish nailer. I've got someone interested in buying a killer set of M-Audio BX8 speakers for $100. I have my Specialized bicycle and piano on Craigslist for sale. What am I supposed to do here? I wrote a book called Ridiculous in December. It's for sale for $10 and I have my other two books for sale each for $10 on Kindle. I have a 4" stack of papers of the books I've written over the years on my floor. It has the 2018 voter's pamplet on top of it. The one with me and Earl on the same page where I'm saying I will put the 4040 bill in the hopper. Nothing has changed there. It's in my Proposals section. Is this simply not what people want? Whether it is me suggesting this or someone else, I think that much of what I'm proposing is inevitable.

Do I have to wander the Earth with my briefcase again like John Travolta talks about in the coffee shop in Pulp Fiction? My transcription book has a Miles Davis solo in it on his composition Four. He recorded a song called NEO in 1961.

Believe me, this is all incredibly beautiful stuff. My life is so gifted like this. I was made to do something big here. I've had my paranoias that what I really need to do to bring harmony to the world is admit defeat in this political battle and get a job in a grocery store. Will the world get sucked into the black hole of Cygnus X1 if I don't comply? Is trying to come up with real world political solutions 20 hours a day good enough to cut me some slack there? I'm a little more scared of dying on the moon than Mars. Mars is the sexier mission. The moon mission is interesting as well. I'm sure that both missions have a bad physical downside to them. I'm certainly the only candidate in this congressional race who truely believes that she will be the first person to die on another planet. As Andy said last night, this isn't a race for Mayor of Portland. Riding my bicycle in a sea of cars for 35 years has warped my mind. Perhaps people are paranoid of supporting me because they think that I'll negotiate some deal to ship them off to China? There is some truth to that. I think they are more likely to just stop production. That's what I'm recommending. There is the cosmic downside that we'll reverse this flow of CO₂ and heat going up to whatever is up there coming back down. I don't have a magic ball about that. I'm probably the only candidate in this race who spends time thinking about what may happen when we do that.

Perhaps Portland will write me in for President on May 21st? Who knows? What I'm experiencing and have been experiencing for the last 4 election cycles is very odd. I'm not making money at politics or music, but I act like I am a professional. I choose these things as my job. I'm running in a race where I can be effective. Does my trump card beat former president Trump's trump card? I see some sense now in the hotels he has apparently been a part of building. Perhaps we will need structures like that when the carbon starts coming back to Earth? I'm running as a Democrat but I have been using DR strings on my show of hands 5 string bass. We should stop fighting each other and get on board with preparing for the next dot of the world. It's World City Zen time. It's a prolonged music and sports party. This was the vision that The Greatest Generation had for us. This is what they worked for. I have my hunch that they did this on purpose and kept it as a secret.

However we got here, here we are. Wherever you go, there you are. On Mars, the moon or Earth, we make the best of what is still around. Isn't it interesting that our lives are dependent on exploitation? The plan now is to exploit population decline. Is that so bad? Is everyone still so caught up in the rat race that they don't have time to read this far down my Daily Thoughts section? Or is all of this old news? What are you doing with your screens? I've got the 4am recording looping. This is super spacey stuff!! I love it. I'd definitely be opening my Dot Trombone app once I get to space an pull up Never Coming Home and setting the speed lower. What an amazing piece of music! No wonder I don't go to the churches around here. Or the bars. I've given hundreds of people open invitations to come to my house in the last week. The door is unlocked. I'd be thrilled to have some company to share a curry with while I'm still on this rock. Or is continued isolation what I need to be a better US Rep? Think about it. I even represent men and women in some way.

5:16am Another day. Texting D3 at 4:20am. Sorted through some emails. Ready for a cup of ginger tea. I brewed a pot yesterday. I've got this pitcher that I fill with water and then pour that into a pot on the stove to boil. I add a good amount of ginger that I cut and peel. Then I add a cinnamon stick, cardomom pods and cloves. I boil that for 20 minutes and then strain it with a fine wire mesh strainer and I store it in the fridge. I've been putting some brown sugar in it lately. Perhaps I'll try some molasses this morning?

The Star Trek episode The Inner Light is one of my favorites. Also Cause and Effect. Both are in TNG season 5, so I usually grab that disc when I want to watch TNG. It reminds me of WALL-E putting in a disc. The way the WALL-E disc inserts into its cardboard case is cute. I bought a $2,200 4 string bass last year and sold the bass for $600 and kept the hard shell case and that reminds me of WALL-E and the diamond. My 5 string fits well in it. I was using the 5 string playing to Never Coming Home the other day. I have fun with that.

world city zen

10:06am I have a zen like faith. It's not a faith "in" something.

I'm coming around to identifying with the phrase "transwomen are women". When I'm with a transwomen romantically, I don't see her as a male even though I know she was born a male. I'm slightly attracted to men now and that is a different feeling for me. It's fun to see things from a different perspective.

4:32pm I've been doing campaign stuff all day. Basically another 20 hour day of unpaid work. I'm enjoying myself. I made a batch of brown rice and a batch of white rice this morning. I haven't eaten anything yet today. I've just had black coffee and perhaps a cup of ginger tea. Andy and I are going to do a stir fry in the wok now. We just got back from a 4 mile walk and I had taken a bike ride before that. I do like staying active, but it's mostly for transportation. Hopefully these mailings produce a result. It's difficult to get people to help out with a political campaign. If I could get some people helping out here though, it sure would be cool. Andy and I are playing wonderful music and making excellent food. The weather is nice today as well. It could be a really fun spring. I hope you join us.

7:09pm Dinner is complete. We just eat sausages with sauteed onions and sauerkraut. I'll make the curries tomorrow morning. My money is all but gone now. I don't even have enough to buy a week of food. I've got more printing supplies though, so I'm going to crank out some more of these flyers. I've got my upright electric bass for sale. I hate to sell it, but I don't have any major plan to use it. I'll just never spend much time on that instrument. I'm happy that I got two good recordings out of it. And seeing and hearing Collie play it was amazing. We can always get another bass if the need arises.

I started a new habit of soaking my feet a few times a day. They could be in better shape and what I have been doing is obviously not good enough. I spent time after my foot soaking cleaning up the bathrooms. Things are pretty clean around here, but I'm getting a little frustrated and want things to look even better.

I'm certainly not even capable of doing any other job than full time campaigning now. Even if I had some production work going, I'm sure it wouldn't last long. I'm working myself to the bone mentally with all this platform and campaigning stuff. It's no joke that I'm working 20 hour days and have been for 5 weeks now. All without pay. I haven't had any income since August when I started full time campaigning. I'm not social at all. I communicate well. I'm very serious, but I do have fun and laugh as well. My humour is kind of dry. I like Richard Pryor in Superman III. I originally called my autobiography On the Donkey because of the Democractic connection and the ending of Superman III. When Gus gets on the donkey, it's time to turn the movie off! Hehe. I love the movie up to that point. I have a good movie collection that I learned a lot from. I'm not consuming new movies because my brain is kind of full.

I've been clenching my jaw a lot again lately. I think it is all the stress I'm under. Campaigning the way I am without noticable support and money is a huge stress. I'm hopeful that things could turn around quickly. I'm giving good interviews. I know my politics well. I have a whole lifetime of experiences to back up my platform. Maybe I'll take the lead and money will finally start coming in. I'm trying to get us into a new economy, but the powers that be are making it very difficult for me. It's been hard to get fresh food for many months now. I went years without getting diarrhea. I would print out my Rand's Curry shopping list and the store always had what I needed and the food was never bad. That is not the case anymore. I sent the CEO of Kroger an email requesting a meeting a few months ago. He declined to respond to me. The day I requested the meeting for, I posted on my website that I would like to see the stores stop returning the carts from the lot. I'd like to see people return the carts to the stores. It's better if the cart isn't sitting in the rain. It would slow people down and make them be more conscious of what they are doing. And it's better for the wheels if the carts do not leave the store. It's better to use a plastic basket than to put wear on the cart wheels. I love those carts, but having bad wheels because of the parking lot sucks. And of course I have many other suggestions about the grocery stores. Do you think Mr. McMullen is for or against me? I'm optimistic enough to think that it might just be a learning lesson for me and us. They have these slow opening gates at the stores now that are slowing people down. My aunt thinks it may be an anti-theft device. I like the idea of my expanded SNAP proposal making theft much less common. The situation is making me think about our food supply. I have a lot to share on the matter. I really need people reading my site and responding to me. It's very discouraging putting so much thought, effort and love into all my writing and then not getting any emails from people. What I'm sharing can't be that far off base, can it be? I am making sense here, right?

7:46pm Still writing and listening to my 4am recording that I made last week. I have a hard time letting Andy do his thing and help me. I'm just so wired to do everything myself. I get very picky about how things are done. My mind is constantly coming up with ideas about what to do next. I had this idea for dinner, but I let Andy take over with the sausage suggestion. But even then, I was the one who cooked the sausages. He was going to cook them in a pan on the stove, but I don't cook meat in the house. I virtually always either cook it on the grill or wok outside. I don't like getting that grease and smell in the kitchen. It's not uncommon for me to cook meat at home just twice a year. I typically eat meat in the restaurants. I like leaving that to them. Andy made me a nice steak last night though. I must admit that it tasted great. Andy did appreciate my curries. A week ago, he helped with making the usual 6 quarts. And that fed us for several days. It's a great system and I want to get back to it. We only spent $40 on those groceries. I'm tired of hearing people talk down about my curry thing. I've totally got it together with those curries. Andy and Nora are both appreciative about it. People who come into my house and experience it get it. Andy and I made an incredible stir fry they other day with white rice. I'm doing well with the seasoning. I use some turmeric, salt, white pepper, dill and toasted sesame oil. It sure is good like that!

10:10pm now. Ballotpedia finally got my profile activated. I submitted it 24 days ago. It's progress. My presence on the internet seems clean and I'm happy with what I'm presenting. The last iteration of my dottrombone site had gotten to a polished state too. It looks like my site is 348KB right now not including the pictures and music. That's about a quarter of a Megabyte. I'm displaying a lot of information for that byte count. Looking at it like this makes me think about how large distributed networks work. My site uses some backend programming, but it doesn't touch a database. I wouldn't be surprised if I'm the only federal candidate who has written a program to parse and query the state voter data. I did that work back in 2017. I've been at this thing for a while.

I put 2 cups of dried split peas to soak on the counter. I'll make a 2020 curry tomorrow morning and then get started on the other 3 curries. It should make enough food to get through until early next week.

Who has access to the information? How would a scientist know whether a large telescope is displaying accurate information unless they tear the machine and the code apart themselves? It's not that I'm not trusting. I was put in this situation where I was making solid music and displaying it on my website and that was so unsuccessful that I wound up on the streets. In my early days on the streets, I developed an attitude of not blaming people for the situation I was in. But there is a difference in not blaming them and trusting people. I learned to trust mathematics and the resulting logic. I was able to turn that into a career. Everyone gets money from someone else. That is the definition of money. All living things need something outside of themselves. Music is closely related to mathematics. The time of rhythm. The frequency of the cycles of vibration. The overtone series and PI. Mathematics and music are universal languages. Words are abstractions. A representation or even icon of something. Anyway. I find it fascinating.

My right nostril is deformed like Jabba the Hut. I've recently realized that it's probably from wiping my nose with my right hand while I ride my bicycle. I am right hand dominant like that. I work on my left hand though. This evening I was flipping my heels in my left hand.

11:12pm Winding down. A little bit... I'm certainly relaxing more than I was a week ago. What I'm doing must be executive level campaign stuff. I was lying down on the twin futon on the floor of my 88sqft studio. I've been doing 100% of my professional work up here for 9.5 years. I started sleeping in my studio too at the end of december. I've been thinking about the longevity of shoes for several weeks now. I've been avoiding Nike shoes my whole life. For most of my adult life, I wore Shimano shoes on my bicycle and Teva sandles when I'm not on my bicycle. In the 90's, when I wasn't wearing my military uniform, I was wearing pants that I cutoff with scissors at the knee. These days I'm mostly wearing pencil skirts. Transwomen typically don't wear this kind of thing because it shows my male "junk". I never thought twice about wearing purple silk shirts in the 90's. You can't hide large breasts very well and my male package is no different. My Ridiculous book talks a lot about transgender M->F surgery. Thankfully, I've given up some of the fear around it. It'll either happen or it won't. If it happens, I'll enjoy looking better in my pencil skirts and deal with the negative the best I can. Perhaps there are bigger plans for me than GRS.

But back to shoes... My main set of Tevas are about 10 years old and still hanging on. The problem with the sandal heals I have been wearing is the inability to wear socks with them. I like having my feat breath and I often went without socks with my Tevas in the 90's. I like socks with them though. I've got my eyes on a new pair of Tevas. It'll likely be my next purchase once my money situation gets solved. I love these 2" Amazon Basics heels though. But they don't last long. Construction seems simple though. It's hard for me to take them off when I'm in the house because I'm constantly out on the concrete in my back yard between buildings.

I guess I'm warming up to do these upcoming interviews. It was nice to take a couple days off from writing. 11:29pm now. I've been hot on the campaign trail for 18.5 hours today. I have the urge to make more flyers. I know I'm going to need them, but I'm a little tired and the main house is cold this evening. I've been keeping the heat on 24/7 because I'm not sleeping much, but Andy likes it colder when he is sleeping. So do I of course, I'm just not sleeping much.

I've been channelling the mission to Mars lately. My 88sqft studio probably is about the size of a ship to Mars. A few days ago I realized that assembling a ship in orbit likely won't work. It'll probably be a thing of launching many rockets from the same place at the same time and then have a sequence of docking manuevers on the way there. It may be so complicated that you can only send one person on each launch. Once you are there, things seem to be better. Well, when Mars is close, we can launch a lot of stuff. When Mars is on the opposite side of the sun from us, there isn't much we can do. On Mars, there is this communication delay to deal with. You can't have a conversation with anyone who is not on Mars. Thinking about Mars has been a recurring theme with me for over 20 years. Every few years I do another round of thinking about it. You can read about all that in my in || on book. Lately I've realized that one way to interpret the events of my life are as training for a Mars mission. I've done a lot of pacing and stress training in the last quarter century. I'm strong and nimble, but I'm not a weight lifter. Andy brought a drumset with him and I'm enjoying using all four limbs on it. I am still a decent drummer. I could be a solid drummer if I had time to practice. There is nothing to do out there in space but practice music. Play to recordings. 11:41pm now. It's no wonder I've only played a handful of live gigs in the last 24 years.

I was not thinking about Mars when I adopted the DJ4 moniker. Even when I was making the in || on bookmark flyer with the laser grid theme in 2003, I was not relating DJ4 to Mars. I was thinking of 4 from a mathematical and building perspective. Square houses. It's comical, but I don't think I made the Mars/DJ4 connection until a few weeks ago. I had Never Coming Home playing on my Dot Trombone app on my living room stereo computer the other day. I had the time/pitch stretch at about a half octave lower and I had the piano solo looped. It sounded like the tape player with the dying batteries in the Apollo 13 movie, but it was way better. It was just so funky and spacey. I was playing drumset to it and then going to the piano and bass. I have half of it transcribed and I was holding the music in my left hand with my head turned to the left and my right hand on the piano not looking at the keys. Yeah, I've been transcribing that with the time set at an octave lower. I only have half of it transcribed, so I would play that and then improvise for the rest of the loop. Then I brought the pitch up to the half octave slower.

Anyway. This 88sqft studio does seem about the right size for a space mission. Where would I go? I ain't been out in years. The cans are running out? I read a few years ago that Raghavan Iyer was selling canned curries at Walmart. I'm basically doing the same thing at home with how I'm canning the curries. So that is how that works.

I'm seriously wondering whether I'm waiting for an election for US Rep, an election for Vice-President or a launch window. There must be other people playing this game as well. At least a few. I've been wondering for a month or two whether the others are exact clones of me or whether we all have different stories. Perhaps you just need to really have to know the inside thing to be President or Vice-President in these times? I've been developing a pretty advanced view about what it is all about the last couple weeks. I have my fears about the mission. The never coming home part of it has been something I started seriously pondering while I was on the streets. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has done that type of thinking. When all the facts of my life are considered, I have a wild story that leads to this type of thinking.

OK, it's 12:01am now. I've got Contact on my 32" Sharp screen that I have on a wood TV dinner table that Cynthia rubbed down with some kind of stain. It's stuck on the ending credits and I'll likely replay it. This DVD collection of mine is like a physical record that may last the test of time. An optical record. My stack of computer programming records that I wrote on the streets 20 years ago illustrate that you don't need a computer to write computer programs. It's interesting that I've been doing a lot of printing and laminating in my campaign cycles. I had the idea of living on Mars and coding another machine that could carve mathematical fundamentals into Martian rocks. I've spent decades preparing and working to do these higher level gigs. I have no family attachments. I'm used to doing virtually everything myself. I've taken a head off of a vehicle. I installed an HVAC system on Langley Airforce Base.

These recordings that I listen to over and over again are like my friends. They ground me. My life has gotten to the point where I might actually be more grounded if had a 6 minute time delay with virtually all humans. Nothing to do but practice/record music and code video games? And eat curries? Sounds like fun to me! Ride a stationary bike. Fight through some physical harshness to keep my body in top condition?

From this point of view, what does the US Rep gig mean to me? Reading this, you might think I'm a raving lunatic. This is my life though. I have been trained to do this. You can read about it in my 3 books. If you can get on board with that, then what do you think about my politics? Is the space mission real, but the politics is a delusion? I was reading through my Stickies section earlier today. This is all quality stuff. I'm proud of the writings I've done in the last couple months. And the music. I am a world representative. I've been touched by all the major cultures of the world. Even male and female.

Friday 2024-03-29

* This is a two/three day run on blog that I didn't bother to spellcheck or edit. It's kind of a snapshot of how my political days work.

Let's see, I left the bar last night just after 10pm. I got home and well, my house was amzaing compared to that bar. It was good to be home. I just woke up at 2.25am and started working on politics.

I woke up to the sound of rainInDaStudio.mp3 playing on my living room speakers. Many political thoughts went through my mind. The corn oil at the bar. My fast food rule that I've been using my whole life about no fries, no soft drinks and no cheese. I looked at the burgers on the menu and opted for fries, onion rings and a ginger ale. I had potatoes at home, but after making compaign flyers and political writing all day, I was too exhausted to cook. By 7pm when I got to the bar, I think I had been at it for 17 hours.

So many thoughts. Should I write them all down? I love writing. I love doing this job of mine. The pay isn't good at all. At the moment, it doesn't exist. It was the same thing with my software coding though. Spending another year coding for free to stay in the game. If I was a normal software engineer, would I have a family? Would I have a house that seals well? With an air filter that needs to be replaced? Would I live a longer and healthier life then? A more enjoyable one?

I had a lot of fun playing yesterday and that point in Another Day where the whole crowd hangs on the 11, well, I've been there before, but it brought me to tears yesterday. Hearing the crowd like that. It's kind of like having this rain sound on the speakers. I've made this whole thing real for myself. Not sure exactly how it all happened, but I know I worked very, very hard at all this stuff.

It's very upsetting having Sam tell me I should apply for disability. With him smoking, drinking, going to detox, again. Living on benefits his whole life while I'm doing this. It's very rude and I should just cut him off, but he's got his role in my life and I love him. It's all just lessons for him and I and everyone reading this. Do I have to declare myself as disabled to get a paycheck to be a political candidate? Or a musician? I've applied to be US Representative. It doesn't pay as well as applying for disability. Musician can be a low paying job. Considering all the unpaid work that goes into it, the musicians are know in town are way, way below the poverty line. People like Sam.

I chose to write software for a living because my music on my website was not being supported. Stuff like Track 14 and ReGroupMe. It's been an excellent journey and there is a whole generation of kids who have played my educational games growing up. They should be able 18 years old now. Well, I have no proof on how that work was distributed, but I assume that it did get distributed. My dot buddy Peter Reynolds was part of that effort. International Dot Day.

It's like OK, am I ultra-famous now? The only person I've had in my house in the last couple weeks, someone who just came back from talking with people in congress in DC, said no one knows about me. Should I leave my house at 3:10am to hang up these flyers in the cold rain? Would I be arrested for being weird or littering? Would they put me in the mental hospital again for having a mental breakdown from working too hard on politics that I'm passionate about. That's the whole John McCain side to me. The tortured side.

Is it a game? Are people betting on my next move? Are people really going to come to my home someday and tell me I have to leave? I'd grab my bass, trombone and my suitcase with my pressure cooker in it. I tested it out a few weeks ago and it is manageable enough. It's a lot of gear to carry, but you know, I'm a musican. I could just take my purse, drumsticks and tin whistle. I put on quite a show at the bus stop in the rain the other day. Is that what people want? Not this silly end of the world politics, but a good tin whistle show? Someone playing from the heart? Someone doing presidential production work in a bar? That is something to drink about.

I hope that the scene in the bar last night with all those cameras is a lesson to young people. I could get paranoid and think that I'm the one not pulling my weight there. Perhaps those people have day jobs as plumbers? I don't know. Should I ask them? Would that make me any better at my job? Am I representing them? Should I have compassion for them? I could have easily been like that. I'm kind of gifted like that. Maybe they were planted just to give me these lessons? Us these lessons. Yes, people work over here in the US, obviously. All these buildings came from somewhere. People are working hard to make them last. You know my politics and where this is all headed.

3:17am now. What to do? Are people up on the social media app? The LEX app is more interesting than the Tango app. I'm not getting much response on it, but I am making some progress. It's certainly way better than Facebook. At least for me. I won't get starting on Facebook here.

So many thoughts. I'm not even saving all of this writing. Sometimes I write a long post like this and just delete it 20 minutes later because I have moved on. I hope people are recording this. 3:22am now. Perhaps I'll make another pot of ginger tea and then check in on LEX>

It's 4:21am now. I was playing hot piano to Another Day (live), then just solo trombone. I played F's in 5 octaves. And then I said, well, try to make a video. So I got out the camera jig that screws onto my mic stand. I think this is the first video I've shot with a phone. The video will be live at 4:30am.

https://youtu.be/-OIqpKT39xg

I play a King 2b trombone. Just the last couple days I've been spacing out the letters BU, 2b, BU. 76 trombones? This is standard trombone stuff. I'm not the only one out in society who is triggered by something. Is the game that people can't even get to me? I have no direct evidence of that. Why am I all alone here? My Youtube video posting says I have gotten 2 hits on my first video. Were they both me? Can anyone even read the text I'm writing now? Evidence in my environment tends to yet, perhaps even billions of people are seeing this. And yet, I have no direct evidence. What am I to do? Pack up my keyboard and play downtown at 4:32am?

Will I be surprised as to what I see on the ballot?

LEX appeared to have kicked me off. It seems that everywhere I go there are closed doors and people shutting down my culture.

Can I get this video to loop? Not on YouTube probably. I like the music in it and want to play it while I make some more flyers. These flyers take about 5 minutes to make each. Too early and cold to pass them out now. Don't want to be labeled as a freak out there again and spend another night in the mental hospital being frustrated with people serving me and giving me rubber pens.

I think I can code a javascript tag "onended" into the HTML5 video player and then just post it on my website. Can anyone see the website from the server in my garage? I don't use the internet for anything around here for much other than letting people connect to my server. The bottleneck is my gigabit fiber internet, but posting videos is a big deal. Maybe I'm famous enough already that they take my content and distribute it? Not a new idea.

---Video link removed because of server issues---

I would love to hear all the people I've played music with again. Every attempt I've made has just been some BS game, so I basically stopped trying. I just chock it up to part of the presidential training. It certainly seems like executive branch stuff and not legislative. My idea is that the executive branch comes up with the direction and then the vice-president is the representative of the executive branch in the legislative branch. I like the system. People complain about the system, but it isn't the problem.

Dang, my loop code didn't work. Is there a js error in the inspector? When I was coding on the streets, I was the debugging tool. I was the compiler. It's an old school way to program, doing it on paper like that. No, no javascript error. It looks like the code is correct. There must be a reason for it. Check it at the other end. OK, OK, stackoverflow says to just use the loop attribute with no declared value. onended is working with my audio player, at least it is for me. How can I verify what other people see? How many times do I use other people's devices or look over their shoulder? It wouldn't take too many people to guide my life in such a way as to manipulate that. It's training making me think about how much these networks can actually handle. The switches and routers. Amazing devices and IT is a very big deal. Nothing lasts forever. We've eliminated the fans in these devices. My computers here all have fans. I don't apparently.

I use WAMP Server on my comptuer for development. I picked it up in 2011. I started running my websites from my server in 2013 or 2014. I was making a multi-player arcade game and pinging the server repeatedly like that was causing the whole shared server to crash. It has helped my programming and politics to run servers. Is the game now that I have to figure out how to buy a server that scales so that I can leave the house and not have my website on this machine that can handle a small amount of traffic? Is that what is holding me back in life? Don't they we have people who can repost my content? Doesn't AI do that? It's not even AI. I post and then a stateless computer pings my server and sees that I posted something new, then it distributes it in a way that it goes on multiple servers. I've never coded distribution code like that, but I have coded a phone app that shows you the individual charges on the cells in your EV.

Dang, the loop didn't work either. They really don't want me to post this 612MB video on my site, do they? Makes sense. MP3s are small. That's how us musicians got into this lovely mess. I'll just have to make a recording of it with open broadcaster. Hold on...

OK, OK, open broadcaster appears to just do video formats. I can't loop video apparently, so I'll fire up the microphone. Maybe I'll play some trombone over it? Hold on....

OK, I have it on the music site. The 4am Thing. It's 5:42am now. Many personal/political lessons to write about. Hopefully this loop will provide a good backdrop for some more writing.

I have an ex-girlfriend who lives in the neighborhood and is a huge source of lessons and distress for me. She's one of those people who I don't want to be romantic with. We've slept together a handful of times back in the day. We go way back. I cooked for her quite a bit during the pandemic and got to know her better. I got to the point in the fall of 2023 where I confronted her on an odor problem. I feel back that I have to mention that it is an odor problem here and not call it a hygiene problem, but it is a big part of this political story that possibly could affect a billion people.

I had this other guy in my environment who had the same odor problem. I confronted them both about it. I confronted my ex-girlfriend about it first. She told me that she would never speak to me again. I had given her the advice of humbly telling a doctor that she is aware of the problem. I felt good that I confronted her and gave her a solution that was not dependent upon me. I'll get back to her in a minute here...

So then I confront the other person. He was willing to talk about it. We went over the possible reasons. Then he said that the reason is that he is lazy. OK, I have to say it, he especially smells of urine. They both do. Probably for different reasons. And at the same time, I'm considering sex reassignment surgery. It's 5:55 right now. We know what that is.

The loop is working fine. I've got a good Rand atmosphere here. I think I'll get up and go to the bathroom and stash this microphone away so I don't have this cord going across the room... ... ... .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ....

My music teacher told me about 23 years ago that they would be able to control my bowels. I had a big shit a few days ago and now the main toilet in the house is a slow drain. I've been dreading the idea of unscrewing the toilet to fix it. I get worse and worse with that septic smell the older I get. So I just took a shit in the garage. I live in a 1,250sqft, 1 bedroom house with 5 sinks and 3 toilets. And two wood burning fireplaces. And a Colman furnace which I've learned to repair by taking the sparking element out and carefully wiping it down with a green scrubby. It must be the potato, rice and tortilla diet I'm on. I haven't been eating my normal amount of onions.

Programmer's logic.

I'm not a fast learner, but I am persistant. I played my trombone warmup every day for 20 years. And hour and a half warmup. Mo Better Blues style. I enjoy playing music 8 hours a day, but I enjoy so many other things too. I'm very much a producer and not a consumer. Is that what people want from me. Is that why I get all this grief? No, it's because it is extremely difficult to get billions of people to change their reproductive behaviors. My life has aparently been dedicated to the cause. Perhaps my ex-girlfriend's life was too. And many other people in my environment. Programming logic with the data I have.

Or do we have a power source that can extract the oil from the air and water from the sea? Hydrogen cars? What is the acronym? RTD? Radioactive thermal decay? The spaceship technology. Something like that, I could look it up. You know what I'm talking about. It creates heat for the steam engine. No way to vent heat in space. Space is cold, right? Nothing there to transmit though. Well, except for the solar wind.

Gotta talk about all of it is how the song goes. Can't leave nothing out. Transgender surgery again? Urine? I don't know. It's all so crazy. My body is amazing. At least I think it is. This corn has done a number on people here. My fast food rule since the early 90's is no fries, no soda and no cheese. If I go to a pub, I'll eat a burger with cheese. I'll eat a pizza. I'll have cheese on a burrito if I have to. Not on a fast food buger though. I had fries and onion rings last night at the pub 2 blocks away. I didn't go there for the first 9 years I've lived here because I just don't go to bars. None of them are open at 4am anyway. Rave parties go at 4am. I'd put on a good 4am show I suppose. I'm not a DJ really. I'm a producer musician. Recording musician. Musician. Jazz Musician. My passport doesn't say anything. My last passport was a military passport. I lost it when I was living on the streets along with some of my military records. I lost a lot of stuff, but I still have the Chinese stamp my grandmother gave me as a child. I've used it a few times over the years, but I'm really enjoying it now. The guy selling my a .cn name turned me on to it. I'm stamping stuff and lamintating stuff at the club. Working like a machine like I always do. They have TVs in there. Music was so bad I had to put my headphones on and listen to Switch from the 80's.

It was a culture shock joining the Navy. The musicians were into all kinds of music that I wasn't. We all have our culture. I was definitely the oddball there. My culture was pretty exotic it seemed. In memphis. I am a blues player. Trombone is a very bluesy instrument. Nicelle Nichols on Star Trek "blu E". Love it!

6:21 now. I'd love to have my house be a transgender campaign party house. My last roommates, Nora and Collie, were extremely transgender and exotic. More than me certainly. I'm kind of the older model. I learned from them about some things that young people are doing. I've never been around children, besides Cynthia's two grandchidren and their families. I have two living close family members. I've spent about a week or two with them in my life, so even they are pretty distant. I have good emails with my aunt. She has been a huge influence in all of this. Her organic, healthy influence. Her mom lived to 93 and she is in her mid-80's now. Going strong. I rejected my dad and my brother. Gambling, smoking. Sure, I've gambled and smoked. I've managed to stay mostly away from it though. I battle addiction hard. I think it is a worthy fight. It's kept me pretty healthy.

Perhaps my brother died for the cause here. I wasn't there when he died and I never saw his dead body. He appeared to be in somewhat bad shape though. A lifetime of chewing tobacco. I know he was always chewing when I saw him. I wasn't the close to him. I rejected the hippie thing in high school. Well, at least partially. We did our hippie acid bebop jazz thing. I guess I try to be an icon of that style. The music I've been creating is a dream come true. I've been at this a long time. Programming supports my music. I'm sure it's like that for a lot of people. It must be really tough raising children, working a day job and then finding time for music. By not having children, not watching TV, not going to bars, not getting carried away with addiction, not doing social media, I've been able to carve out a lot of time for arguably productive efforts. I do have $10,000 of music gear. My microphone is an AKG C3000B. I have two of them. Basic omnidirectional, phantom powered microphone I bought for $300 new. They make fancier microphones, but this one has been good to me.

It's shower time... .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. next generation....

I'm back. It's 6:48am now. This will be a day in the life of a Rando stickie. What I'm doing this morning is pretty typical for how I've been starting my days for the last decade. I've really been working like this for 40 years, but the writing didn't start until 2000. I didn't start recording music until 1999. I was determined to skip tapes an start my recording adventures in the digital world. Off the shelf computers didn't do it so well, but things got better around 1998 with the 7200RMP drives. My computers from back then don't work anymore, but I have faith that my computers made in 2013 will survive a good long time. Perhaps even 40 years. These laptops are easier to ship. The components are mostly hardwired and they got rid of the fans finally. They obviously don't want you taking the battery out of them. My gut feeling is that production of them is going to slow to a trickle really soon. They will all work when plugged in. You have to plug them in anyway when you charge the battery. Virtually everything with a battery is dependent upon a cord to connect it to power. It's like, big whoop, you got rid of the cord with wireless charging. At the price of having to produce a battery instead of a cord. And the whole battery can be seen like that. Some mobility devices are really cool and essential. I've been using mine as a walk-man lately. The first time I plugged headphones into a phone was in February 2024. I have been using a bluetooth earpiece for business for the last decade. I'm enjoying not fiddling with charging them now. It's kind of like a wireless mouse. Yes, it's better not having the cord. Is it worth it? Kind of.

Gotta get onions. I'll hang a few of these signs in the neighborhood. I'll likely go on a bike ride to distribute some today. I made about 40 yesterday. People can print these out and hang them up all over the world. I'm not in charge of distribution like that, but I can do a few and put my signature on them. I enjoy making them and it's better than mailing them. It makes sense to mail the ballot and even political cards. 100 people driving ballots around or 100,000 people driving to the polls. Electronic could possibly be better, but I've got to tell you, this political stuff has a level of paranoia and trust to it. I trust that we have nuclear reactors, but it would take a lot of resouces for me to visit them all. We all have to make some decisions on what information we are going to trust and what we will continue to question. I'm probably over 99% on trusting that nuclear power exists like we see it on the government charts.

Including the html tags, I've written 3,811 words here. 20,892 characters. 11 pages. The computer we had in the 90's would store about 11 pages of text in the RAM from what my mom was telling me about her writing. I used the computer to play Zork and do some programming experiments. Which Zork game was it that had the small byte count? That must have been it, right? That was the lesson? I was so into music I didn't get that into it in the late 80's. OK, time to shave and shove off. I'll probably be back at 8:30am and I can come up with my distribution plan.

Well, I was reading some of that. Yes, the battery in the computers and the wired connection to them is more efficient. It's a great thing on many different levels. With proper software managing, these laptops may be able to last decades. Maybe even half a century. Not sure, but my desktop computer runs great. It has fans and I have it on a maintenence schedule. I obviously don't use spell check here. I also don't time/pitch stretch my recordings. 99% of the music I make is completely mine. Made with my own hands. Turn the mic on, make a recording, see what you get, make a loop.

I'm back! It's 8:52am..

Part of my story is that I've been intellectually terrorized in order to do this job. Perhaps that is for other people to write about. It would be interesting to read books written by other people about my life.

I've still got the loop playing. It just cycled.

It looks like the toilet in the garage is still flushing. My newest theory is that the onions I have in my diet are good for the sewer system. I've been slighly terrorized by people, like my ex-girlfriend, speaking badly about onions. The crying aspect of it. I have no evidence of it making me a sad person. My feelings about onions are that they are good for the internal organs. The only thing wrong with my body in my opinion is the HRT, but that has been so wonderful and my body is just so fabulous, that I'm willing to experiment a little bit and take a health hit from it. If the treatments I'm doing now and treatments I elect in the future mess me up, I'll deal with it the best I can. For now, I feel fabulous! Because of these two urine smelling people in my life I've become paranoid about transgender surgery. That fear is all exposed in my Ridiculous/Delusions book.

I've been holding back the names of people in my life to protect them. I don't know what I'm protecting them from. People use FB and other sites so that they can be protected under the people who like them. I've been posting publicly on my website for a quarter century. The fact of the matter is that there a hardware and software reasons why these big companies want you posting like you are. One theory I've had lately, and to be clear... everything I share is a theory... a well thought out theory, is that if your computer is on anyway, you could just be running WAMP server on your machine and purchase a domain name to point to the ip of your router. I used to do something similar before I had static IPs. IPs from land lines are pretty static anyway. I just did a port forward on my router to go to the local 192. address of the machine I used as my server. If your traffic is low, then that actually may be more efficient than having your posts in a server farm on social media.

I'm not an expert on this. I often think that I wouldn't be comfortable accepting honorary doctorate degrees. I prefer the idea of getting an honorary masters in music and software engineering. Perhaps political science as well. My three careers. I much prefer the master/student relationship over the doctor/patient relationship although technically there isn't much difference. Good doctors are definitely in it to educate.

And that brings up the idea that one of my mentors brings up all the time: the idea of holding back information. The idea of letting people discover the truth, or unwrap the present on their own. My mentor is a master at this and my position feels more like a whistleblower thing of just letting all the secrets out. How else would we accomplish this impossibly hard political task?

Perhaps a lot of my fears are for my personal safety. If so much work was put into me, then they would do they same to others. Technology is pretty advanced, so they may have done it to many. Does that make me the hole in the donut? Does it make me expendable? I'm I not as special as I think I am? Is this game I appear to be in, the biggest game in the world and there are 3, or 5, or 50, or 76 of us playing it? Where does that leave me? Does someone win this game and then all the losers go back to cleaning toilets for a living? Or worse? Is there no reward for this work I do? Is it just more being virtually terrorized?

I've had an absulutely fabulous life. Many extremely hard times like limping down the road with no other transportation than my feet. Even without shoes for a week or two. I tried making cardboard insoles for my socks. It kind of worked. Dirty Pot and that series of recordings came out two years before that. The laser grid animation tool I made came out almost a year before that. Years later, after coding another animation application with server side saving and draggable toolbars... Well, you get the point. So much for making the terrorized story short! LOL!

OK, OK. 9:19am now. What to do with the rest of the day? Am I improvising? Does physical security matter?

All the people who are involved with the decision to have sex and have children have a big choice to make. And that choice repeats constantly, day after day, year after year. I hit my prime sexually when I was about 47 years old. At that point I felt I was at the top of the hill and starting to head down. That was 6 years ago. I'm still feeling great. I've been on testosterone blockers for 17 months. After the first month or so, I've only had 3 orgasms. Barely anything came out those times. The first time was really exciting! It did feel different. Then I tried it again and it was good, but not as good as before. The third time, the thrill was gone and I just wanted to not be thinking about it.

I'm not a great guidepost for all of this. And yet I am. I masterbated a lot in my life. Masterbating was a drive to get work done. I'd spend about 4 minutes doing it. I don't like drawing it out. I like getting back to work. That was a huge part of my work process for several decades. Most of my life really. It worked, really, really well for me! It was a litte frustrating. And I was thrown a bone with Cynthia.

I had relationships with 3 ladies who were more than 18 years older than me. Those were the best relationships. At least on a sexual level. Hard to draw they line there though, they were pretty fabulous. All three have died as far as I know. Patty definitely died. I was with her and was absolutely certain she had died. I was there when Cynthia died too. It was pretty convincing. She probably did die, but I didn't stick around long enough afterward to know for certain. She was in the hospital surrounded by her family. She was my partner in the last two years of her life, but you know, she had a long life and fairly large family.

I've never been to an open casket funeral. I botched the anthem on trombone at a funeral 10 years ago. Very embarrasing. It was cold and my mind was focusing on the wrong pitch. I just got a cue to go back to the server discussion....

OK, I know what to talk about here. It's these routers and switches. On FB, you hit one of their routing servers. IT people will tell you whether what I'm theorizing here is accurate. I'm just connecting the next dots.... . . . It's about how distribution works. You hit one of their servers and it hits a server on its internet network of where to go to process the next request. It's like a call center, you are in a queue. The computer is waiting for the next request to come in. If it is busy, then that first computer takes the next one that isn't busy. Eventually you get to a computer that can get the information you are looking for from a database. Once it has that information, then it has to get the assets for it. This is where the magic is...

If the video you are trying to access is viewed a lot, then it needs to be propagated to more than one server. And then those are in a queue like I described before. A queue is a Q. It's the record that is called that has the locations of all the videos that is important. It's going to be a list of server names, ips, addresses of whatever variety. It somehow has to access that computer that the video is on. So that is a software routing mechanism. The other magic of it is the hardware side of all these contections working so fast to call those up. Because this is all in one server farm, serving up that data is optimized. Scaled.

Or you know, there is the AJAX method too. An embeded YouTube video which is just doing the one request to get the thing. Most of those videos are likely on one server, but quite a few are on many computers. There is always a culprit of the bottleneck. The ultimate bottleneck is the computer's clock, or you know, the power itself and the magent on the other end.

Which brings us to magnets. They have to be charged, don't they? Charged by something rotating for a duration of time. That is a new theory to me. Just a week or two. Like my mentor is fond of doing, I'm figuring this out on my own and I'm letting the secret out in my whistleblower way. I'm not in charge of distribution like that. Remember, this is a big deal getting billions of people to not get pregnant. I live my life, but I have my job to do. At the very least, I'm entertaining myself here and not using all that much power. I don't have a car. You can read my mileage stickie for all the juicy numbers.

So with this theory about the networks, we come back to the idea of people running WAMP Server on their device and all having websites like mine. The thing that is holding that back is the switches and routers. It's a different design pattern. In some ways an older design pattern. Computers calling different computers directly, like a phone call. I don't know if this is an expansion of what my computer programming mentor knows or if this is old school to him. He is as sharp as his kitchen knives and I keep my Chinese cleaver pretty dull. I sharpen it with a stone in the garage. I used my router to cut out a holder for it in a 2x4. It's like a one foot section of 2x4. Then I have another 2x4 under it and those two clamped down in my vice. That is what you see in my garage. I sharpen it about once every two months. It's nice when it is sharp. After a while it gets annoying being so dull and I get around to sharpening it. I spend about 4 minutes on each side of the knife and repeat for each side of the stone. I bought the big vice, but I was just thinking this morning that I probably could have done it with the smaller vice. It's here now and is a favorite tool of mine. I've used the vice for other things, but sharpening the knife is the main purpose. You've go to hold it with something.

I have no way to make my mortage payment on Monday. Maybe I should go into business making sharpening stone holders? Or perhaps pasta making devices that are more efficient than the two KitchenAid mixers that I have that are basically dedicated to that process. You do need a motor. It really helps having two of them so you don't have to switch between the roller and the cutter. The mixer is pretty good for the dough. I could do it by hand, but I'm not sure I would without the mixer. Having one stand-alone KitchenAid compatible smaller motor just for the pasta attachment would be nice. I suppose there is the romantic thing of rolling the pasta by hand with two people. So, the other issue with making your own pasta, or bread, is that of plumbing. Is it bad for the drains to have wet, uncooked flour, going down them? And in the garbage disposal? Nora was using bowls for making breads. I use my bread machine. I'm conscious now of trying to get most of the uncooked flour dough into the trash instead of the drain or compost. I talked with my girlfriend, who is non-professional farmer, about what to do with composting grains. All grains kind of suck for composting. Veggies are good.

Is this the kind of thing politicians are discussion at the capitol? Probably, right? I would hope so. I've got a fairly special bead on it, at least I think I do. My music mentor is pretty sharp.

10:04 now, I'm playing that water bottle in the recording now. It was interesting with the timing of that, right? I remember turning the knob of the drum loop volume down. I guess I'm going to say to hell with proof reading and spell checking this long post. It really helps to go back and do that and I'm pretty good about it. I guess I have to get on my bike now and figure out how to distribute these flyers. How can I get some volunteers to pass them out? Do I want them working for free for me? I have essentially been working for everyone for free for more than a decade (2,000 hour/year calculation estimate). Can I inspire people to act? These flyers are made to do that. Is it all up to me? There is that water bottle thing again. Time is ticking. We need to get people on this new world plan. How to do it? One flyer at a time? I spent all day making 40 of these. Buying my own food trumps all other activities, but I've had a lot of these supplies left over from previous campaigns. It's a good idea and I've distributed three today. I'll figure it out somehow.. ... .. ... .. ... ||||

Still in my chair... 10:35am. A decision point I suppose. Am I getting through or do you please yourself? If it is so important, and I BELIEVE it is, then I'll do the right thing with a little help from my friends. One minute ago I didn't know what to do next. Get on my bike and go out in the cold. Ride 5 miles to get in the congressional district I'm running in? Then what? I want to reach the young people. Where are they? On LEX? Are they transgender? Who are they? Are they fans of mine? Are they reading this? Are they seeing it through my eyes? I have seen enough technology to know that it is a possiblity. Maybe see it as I'm typing?

It's just a few bytes/bits/blocks. I spent $200 for 4 1MB sticks of RAM in 1994. They may not even know what Rando Access Thara Memory is? I have a stack of envelopes. I have printing supplies. I can stay in my comfort zone here printing and mailing extremely personalized historical documents and giving them to the lady who delivers my mail. She seemed pretty happy the other day when I handed her the one going to the White House. I left 20 or so of them on bicycle locking stands and trees around town. At the end of my journey, done by bus, I ended up at a pristine Planned Parenthood building with solar panels on it across the street from Fred Meyer.

I had gone into Fred Meyer because it was there and I was starving. I went up and down the isles. Fruit? Grapes? Cut off by the bunch by humans. Potatoes? Harvested by humans? Not sure. I bought a can of Pringles. The first though is always "they are baked, right?" They obviously have oil in them. Potatoes are generally cooked with oil and salt. As I was walking toward the register, I thought that the way the chips are stacked in there is really efficient. The shape of them stacking together. The tube is nice. Obviously not hand made. Someone was selling phone service near the register. I told him I was running for congress and asked him why he is doing that job. He said that he needed money and that he just moved here. Sage bought my groovebox yesterday. He said he was working at a vegan pizza place. He was very kind to me and took a flyer. I showed him some basics on the groovebox and he pushed the appeggiator button. It made an interesting sound. I don't think I've ever recorded anything with an appegiator before. I always want to have complete control in programming them, but then again, I'm not so interested. I've heard other people do amazing things with them. We all have our style and time limits.

When I go into the grocery store now, I see all those payment machines that don't have to be made. I see conveyor belts as a throwback to a time when large families were coming through the store. Most of them sit empty these days. Scanners are the lifeblood of... You've read this in my platform.

It's a good plan. Maybe people will even write us in on the November ballot? Are we still holding back? Can I make a mistake? This certainly isn't all my idea. We have the technology. My world view has some constraints on it. Now the synth solo. Nice how I switch over to the EP midstream. Wait for it...

Spacey moon stuff, I know. Fits the mood here with the Interstellar rain sound. The sound in my recording was from my studio. Boy, was it pouring that evening! Or was it 4am? Probably 4am two years ago. Sit with it baby Rando. Feel it. It's important to feel it.

The sensual part of it is not about giving each other back rubs. That's fine and all. I think the money aspect of it and especially the driving to do it is riduculous. Perhaps there was a point to it all? To get to Mars? All those theories are well fleshed out on this site too.

A problem with my site design here is that all of this text is one long block in the code. I separate it into a few different files and then use PHP to stitch it together. Is the reason I'm supposedly unknown because I haven't switched servers? I keep on saying that I'm not in charge of distribution like that. Now the restart. Perhaps I should switch to the dona one now?

The good part is that the music on this page is not the looping music. And for some reason, Chrome on my phone only allows music to be played from one tab at a time. I just found that out this morning. Only been using headphones for a few weeks here. For the last few years, I didn't use internet on my phone at all. Not sure that I ever did. Now I'm streaming my music when I go on walks. Streaming from the server in my garage. The code for the music player on my main site is in the apps section at the bottom. I posted it a week ago. I'm enjoying this code now and am mostly not using MusicBee anymore. MusicBee was good to me. I still use it once in a while. My player allows for fast creation of a playlist. I just got an email from Amazon. They probably want me to review the toner I just bought. Nope, it was the Udon noodles. They are fun to eat, but I'm not too sure how filling they are. I've recently used the Tsang peanut sauce on the fettucini that I make and that is a winner. I've got another batch of that to make. I have been doing pesto, but I've been getting bad pesto for months now. Grocery stores making it hard on me. Trying to get me to read a label or learn somthing about them. Maybe they have been giving me the good stuff for years and are teaching me this lesson. I try to not let it bother me too much.

Or should I go downtown and play trombone. Is that what the city is waiting for? Is that why I'm here alone typing this. They want me to ditch all technology and just play live music, right? That doesn't seem right to me though. I'm not the only one using computers out there! This is a wonderful device that allows me to potentially address the entire planet with a keyboard and microphone. I love making my music. I love other things too. I like this writing. I like what I/we are trying to do here. I've had some paranoia lately that the world is out to make an example of me in a negative way. Or that the USA is disowning me. You know, my style isn't for everyone. I do my thing. I'm one of billions of people like that. I have my limits. I feel incredibly supported. Like in Apollo 13 where Tom Hanks says that the astronaut is the visible part of a huge team. It feels like that for me. The astronaut is very aware of that though. My gig is an undercover thing. Keep Portland Wired and all of that.

An Army of One

Sam did indeed sing on our South American tour. They had me playing High Times on bass. They had me on a nice Eagles song as well, but they took me off of that on the tour. I never bought any Eagles stuff. I'm probably going to call myself either a Northerner or North American when the ethnicity thing comes up again. I suppose Norwegian is more accurate. I don't really know much about this heritage stuff. There are a lot of look-a-likes in my environment from people from my past. This has been going on for a decade. Are they relatives of them? It's hard to tell how someone would change over the course of a quarter century or more. I honestly don't even know how to reach them at this point. I want to make new friends. I want generation Z behind me. I need that politically and I desire that professionally and personally, to a degree. I want to be with D3. We will get there. She is on the east coast. I trust that she is a stop on my journey. I'm not going to fly out to see her for a 2 day trip. It's against my platform and not all that fun if you ask me. I'd rather wait and spend a good block of time with her. Or the rest of our lives.

We used Nokia phones in the 90's. Samsung didn't come around until the mid 2000's I believe. I've got that in the Ridiculous book. Perhaps they have been around since the 50's. This story could be a thing that goes way, way back. It's intimating like that. On that level, there are just a few ultra-famous musicians who are intimidating to me. Don't get me wrong, I can be intimidated by a dog or young child. I can get paranoid and self conscious. But I've put my 10,000 hours in with many different skills. Mostly people are lucky to do that with just one or two. As Good as it Gets is coming up now. All abnormal in this car.

To have Generation Z behind me all the way. For us to change the world like that. To have them in my house here and in DC, that's what I would like. I'm exhausted from this old school way of doing things. This old economy. Will the city just let me do this. Is the world behind me on this? Do I have to keep proving the theorem? It does keep you sharp. Being thrust into fame isn't easy. I'm not unique in that. I'm just kind of old for it to come on like it may. Or like it is. I've had many brushes with fame.

Mentor/student is more correct, right? Mentor is a master and the student is well, the student. We learn from each other. I had the thought the other day of having a room full of Generation Z people in my bedroom watching all my old movies and me telling them the stories about them and how I see all the connections from them into my life. I call my DVD collection a slice of humanity. I stopped growing it in the same way I stopped growing my CD/mp3 collection. I've got a lifetime of things to study with these recordings. Some people do it a different way. Some people look down upon me for doing it this way. This is the way I do it. I can't predict absolutely where a song that I've never heard is going. I can make solid educated guesses, but you know, if I haven't heard it, how would I know? That's the meaning of anything can happen.

Anything. Abosultely anything. Well, no, not really. We do have technology though and some wild things can happen! The whole never say never phrase comes up. And yet are we going to keep paving the Earth to this degree? I have to pee... .. .. .. .. .. .. .... .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ...

People around me are being all crazy about some war in Ukraine and Gaza. I can't prove or disprove it. If it is happening, it is a shame. If it is not happening, then it could be tied into what I'm doing. One theory I work with about this, and everything I do is mostly a theory, is that it just riles people up hearing this in the news. It gets their blood moving. For young people, it creates mystery and uncertainty. My job as the 12 tone whistleblower appears to be to take away that mystery. Is this kind of thing helpful to get us to reduce population? How the heck are we going to do it? Wars? Can we all agree in the world that we would rather have a music sports party than a world war? But would the world music party be less fun if I let all the cats out of the bag? Is that decision on me? Am I making that decison this character? '' : '.'

That all leads into the Mars sticky section. The space age part of this. It seems that all the conflict in the world is the setup for the punch line. Perhaps I'm here to deliver the punch line. It was all about jumping planets and starting the carbon cycle over again. Perhaps it evlolved to this point. Perhaps we found some artifact from Venus. I don't know. Many, many people know these answers. In that regard, I'm just some artist bum. The idea of having like a jedi council meeting with 12 of us addressing the world makes sense. I can tell what I know from it all and they can tell their side. Then the whole world will be on the same page. Then what? If I am all alone on the moon and I know in my heart or even for certain that I will never speak to anyone again, will I lose hope and there will be no music left in me? What would I do then? Die of a broken heart if I don't get elected to congress? If that is the show the world needs, then you know, I'm just one person. Fucking do it! I get the feeling that there is more sappy romantic love to this than that though.

We had our tough waring ways. It was useful. We're humans. Just sitting in the garden of eden eating berries would get old. The birds are doing well. They have their songs. They move through the air. Most creatures seem to have something going on for them. We build things. We build things that can hop all of us to other planets! I mean holy fuck, we did it! Not sure how far we got. Maybe farther than expected, maybe not as far as they thought 100 years ago. Maybe right on schedule. I don't have those kinds of answers for you. I'm not that person on the council.

And that brings us straight to sobriety. And that brings us back to war now doesn't it? Fighting the fire while we are feeding the flames. How do we reduce population? Is the human race just toast if we become passive? Or is it like Interstellar, playing baseball on the space station headed to another planet? Back on Earth in the dirt with WALL-E? It's complicated stuff. I'm just one person trying to deal with my bowel movements and my checking account.

Nora and Collie are right about this. Maybe we'll try again in 2000 years. If we can survive this. Some of us.

They tightened up the snare drum. The snare or the heads or both. I don't know, but I like the sound of the snare now. I was playing it without the snare on and that was fun. Now I'm hitting other objects. Perhaps this is the way it always works.

A few minutes later... It's 12:20pm according to my women's Timex. My absolutely perfect Sharp alarm clock has sun shining on it.

It was a song in 2002 by D1. I think the story is in my book. It was another torturous event in my life. Daily torturing weirdness for a a decade that lingers on every day, likely for the rest of my life. It's one of the controls that keeps me in this environment.

They just didn't have this technology back in 1940. My 50 page Ridiculous book covers all this stuff and more, but it is rather triggering. It'll be back out soon enough. This page is a better writing in my opinion. I'm going to be making more for the rest of my life. How to reach the younger generation and get them over to my place? I have a rather large list of addresses. I have envelopes. I have stamps. I have incredible stuff to mail. No harm in mailing a few hundred off after all humanity has done. :-)

>z... Time passess...

It's 2.28pm now. I've spent the last couple hours cooking curries. I made the Tender Potatoes and the Easy Cauliflower and Peas. I've gotten two emails since then. Does my campaign have any life? Am I getting through at all? I applied to fill out my profile on Ballotpedia the day the people who are going to be on the ballot were finalized. That was March 15th, so 14 days ago. They had me all paused for a week to confirm my ID through an app. They said they would send me a link. I had two emails, maybe three with them over the business. They finally sent the link. Was that on Monday? It's Friday today. Still no word from them. Let me check... https://ballotpedia.org/Rachel_Rand, Nope. Still the generic profile. Are they just busy with more important things?

I'm waiting for the curries to cool to eat them. I put them in the freezer after I cook them to lower them to 35 degrees in just over 2 hours. I bought a special standing freezer for about $400 that has five shelves for 5 pans of curries. I like the idea of entertaining Gen Z people here. I need them in a bad way. We need them.

One of the two emails I got was a list of software engineering jobs from Indeed. I like Indeed. Much more than LinkedIn. Well, I guess it's just another social place, but I have a passion for work and not simply making connections. I'm a wage worker. You know, I need my bills paid. OK, OK... The older I get, the more I identify with being in some kind of royalty caste. I've really experienced all three classes. Well, that upper class thing I'm not so sure about. Maybe that is coming up? I don't see how having money can have any effect on me now. I'd buy a roof for my house. If I wanted to go fancy pants, I may buy my saws back that I sold this week. $500 of saws is fancy pants to me.

Musically, I'm like a cross between candy raver and high class piano jazz musician. So candy raver White House piano is my ideal gig. It's destressing thinking about going downtown with my trombone. I'm just not a party person like that anymore. I can put on a show though. This political energy does create some excellent pockets of music. Much more than you hear on these recordings on my website, although I do love my recordings.

I keep on telling myself "Help is on the way Rando." My reality could shift drastically in a few minutes and never return to what it was. What, did I start the day at 2am? Scroll to the top of the page... 2:25am. OK, been at this for 12 hours now. I'm exhausted and hungry. Just waiting for the food to cool a little more. I like my food cooked, not hot. There is a dentist story behind that too. Man, is that a story!

One delusional type fantasy that I have is that I don't have to do anything. One of my close friends sends me daily reflection type material early in the morning. She has been really good to me! Yesterday it was about surrender. What would I be surrendering? Why am I all alone in this still? I know what I'm writing makes sense. Two people at the bar asked me what I was laminating last night. I showed them the flyer. They both basically said they were too drunk to read it. Honestly, I wasn't too impressed with that. I've been drunk twice in the last 25 years. And I go to recovery meetings because I know that I apply tremendous effort to keep my habits under control. So that comes back to surrender, doesn't it?

The surrender I found in the recovery community the last couple years is to just not drink or do drugs other than my HRT. I question the HRT too, but I do like what it's done so far. By just saying I'm not going to do it, it is off of the table and I don't have to apply effort to control it. I am so good at controlling it now that it would never be a problem, but part of that control is knowing in my core that I just don't like the stuff anymore. I'm sober like that. It's hard enough to keep a good balance of food and liquid in my body. OK, going to try to do lunch now...

Took a nap after lunch. It's 5:06pm now. I had the Sharp clock buzzer get me up. I have been using a digital Timex watch to time the curries, but I have everything in the house now. I guess I liked typing that :-)

Just sent a campaign photo off to another reporter. I get requests like that every day now. There does seem to be a buzz going on this election. It was crickets the other two times I ran. Is that an Open Secret? Probably. Secret that the average person is unlikely to get this far down into my text today? Open Secrets. I know that progress has no patience. But something's got to give? It's been a good lyric over the years. I was channeling that album when I was posting on a music forum back in 2003. The presidential vibe was going back then too. I've been at this for decades. Perhaps I'd have a donation if I just got out a loan back then and went to school for it? I think this all worked well, but what do I know? I'm just a down and out street musician who no one will talk to. Sure, I'm pretty far out on a limb here I suppose. I remember back in the day, probably 2008, there was this Actionscript tweener class named Moses Supposes. People make such a big deal about tweener classes. Like you can't live without someone coding the dang thing for you. Sure, it takes a little time to code one. A few days. Maybe a week if you make it fancy. Remember Slack? A glorified chat room? I can code a basic chat room in PHP in less than 15 minutes. They made billions off of that program? I know my collision detection code isn't rocket science, but the dang thing works and most people, even coders, don't understand that math. Perhaps triangulation isn't important? It can all be done with linear algebra, right? I believe I mostly proved that on New Years Day 2004 right before I started the 35 mile trek through the slush to live on the streets of Seattle, again, because I had no where else to go.

That brings us to my baptism stories. This baptism idea came to me through an experience of inhaling vinegar in my apartment in 2014. Or was it 2013? I realized in that moment that the idea of it is drowing yourself and then seeing if the community, the people, will bring you back to life. I had this experience with this church in my neighborhood back in 2005. I walked in their one day and they had this huge curtain drawn open behind the stage and they had like this huge fish tank in there and they had someone swimming under water in it. It was just too weird for me. I guess my little acid jazz musician weiredness is another kind of wiredness. Weird religious people. But then I have this experience in 2014 and because Patty was going to a church, I marched in there and wanted to do the baptism thing with them because I had had this experience. I'm a loner right? Will they take me back.

It was a thing. I got a little climate change science talk from Carl and that was key to everything I do in politics now. I couldn't hang with the church thing though. I don't know why they do all they do. About a year after that I was really disappointed in myself. The idea that you are willing to die just to see if they will take you back. I mean really. I don't care if I'm the last person on the planet. I'm going to make the best of what is still around. Hopefully there is a favorite music recording to transcribe and play along to. I mean, unless there is life on Mars, that is pretty much all there is. You can't talk on a phone. You can send an email and girl, can I send an email!

So that baptism stuff is the definition of bleeding heart. This polititical stuff isn't. At least I don't see it that way. These churches are probably doing that to fire people up. Rather the people in the churches are doing that to fire people up. To confuse them for their own good. I think it is all messed up. Like that crossing the equator ceremony thing. I didn't participate. I was tortured though that on the ship and they likely have good pictures of me being in agony in a sea of people during an emergency training exercise. I also had someone grab my ass near my bunk on the ship. So I do relate to women on that level. Not fun at all. That guy was a jerk. Perhaps Christian people think I'm a jerk for saying all this. I can't believe how many churches there are around here. If their services are anything like all the services I have ever been to, then I simply don't get it at all. I walked into the Jewish community center a few months ago to see what was in there. It's a fixture in my neighborhood. They say that all are welocome out front. So I walk in the door in my skirt and heels. A security guard asks for my Id. It was really uncomfortable trying to get through the two security stations, but I kept my cool and did that. They have this huge atrium with a grand piano up top, so I played nice piano there. It was a great experience. Did getting through the gates in the manner I did help the experience? I have to admit that it added something to the experience. I suppose. I certainly relate more to that culture than what I see at the corner bar. I don't understand these blues bars and taverns.

The phat elephant and the humble worker donkey. I guess I'm utopian about destroying all these hostile fake cultures. They really all play jazz music in there, right? Well, no, there are other cultures than my inbred acid jazz curry thing. I get a little hostile because I feel my culture is under attack. People seem to be doing fine out there. People I've met lately are basically going about their day. Perhaps I'll have to surrender this battle some day and get a job doing laundry in a hotel. That's a big theme in Ridiculous too. I guess that is my last resort job. Would eveyone like to see me do that? Is that what all this struggle in my life and politcs is about? The idea I have about that, which I state in that book, is that if people come to me and say, you know, just one kind female, put her hand on my should and said I did a good job and we really do need you to work as a hotel maid, then you know, that would be some special reward for all I've been through. I'm a zen person and love doing production work. How long could I do that? How long would I last in that job? Folding sheets for people using the booming airline industry. Is that what my musical mentors have been doing? Sure their work was very important. Can I walk into a hotel and ask for a maid job? Take the bus across town? That's much more my style than walking into a church. They would probably even let me listen to headphones while I work. I could put on my wonderful piano and tin whistle music and my old favorites from my music masters. Or I could listen to the sound of the sheets flapping in the air. I could pretend I'm on Mars doing it. Perhaps Collie and Nora are coming home from doing their work in the garden with the Cauliflower. We pull double duty like that on Mars. I'm doing the Uhura thing in communications. There is value in having a coder up there. If communication goes down, you may have to improvise something without help from Earth. The communication delay makes things difficult like that.

Could I be humble and not slap down my 4" pile of books when they ask for my job history? Would I be overqualified because I wrote code for industrial machines? Or played music on aircraft carriers? Like I said earlies, I've got everything in the house. My normal path of least resistance here is to keep on going until they demand that I leave my house. Perhaps then I tear down the piano by myself, move it with the hand truck with the hard wheels, down the 5 step circular staircase that I rebuilt a few years ago, down the step driveway to the street and then set it up on the dolly and wheel it around the neighborhood giving performances?

Being humble. Humor. I'm one person. I'm likely not up to the task of being humble like that. It doesn't appear to be my gig. Is this one of those decision points? I don't understand why you are all doing hotels like that. I don't understand why musicians play large concert halls. I do relate to the energy they get from it and how they channel that into their music. It's the sound of money and yet it isn't. Those musicians have things like that working for them. I have something too. Something big like that. From my life story and daily interaction with one of those top musicians. But I was even marginalized by him. I'm all alone here typing this. Wondering if I should use CuteFTP to transfer the html file to my server. Wondering if that is a necessary step in the process. I've been thinking about coding my own FTP program lately. If I couldn't get Cute to install, I suppose that is where I would be at. I've coded a start on that with a program I wrote for Malarkey Roofing Products. They were pretty good to me over there. I enjoyed our business conversations. Mike is a Trump supporter and I love talking with Mike. He's a business person. A friend. I grew as a programmer with them. I worked with them for a decade. Part time from home. I made a nice tool for them and the whole political lesson of why they even need such a thing. With the way my politics are, they would probably be on the cutting block pretty fast. Unnecessary office and sales people. They have their ways though. Who am I to criticize a large building materials manufacturing company like that? We need their product more than almost anything. Our whole society is based on these roofing shingles. When it matters. Good guys. Good coding lessons. Good business lessons. Big part of my story. Almost in tears now.

6:03pm. 16 hour day with a 2 hour nap so far. What to do? I've got a box of large manilla envelopes. Decision point is do the crazy thing of surrender and walk into a hotel to get a nursing job, or continue on with this political thing. I'm told that politics is still a thing. I'm not seeing the changes I'm suggesting in our national media. My situation could all be altered. Maybe former president Trump is like one of those big bark churches trying to scare people into something. I have my trump stamp too. The red dot trombone and the presidential album. My heart is in the mailings of course. In the DC gig. In the executive branch gig. Gotta get elected to office and experience that. Gotta be a viable vice-presidential candidate. I wouldn't last long in the hotel gig anyway. I might be able to do that in a few years after failure. I lived on the streets for a long time. I was passing out cards around town last fall saying that I didn't want to do that zen walking on the streets thing again. OK, Ok, miss vice-presidential hopeful. US Representative who talks to herself like she was on the streets again. Like she is living on another planet. Training to do those high level jobs. I've got a toilet on the space station to fix. I have two backups, but only one is working well and I was scared I was going to lose it this morning. I'm going to have to put on my plumber hat here. It could be a really nasty job and I can't seem to find my rubber gloves. The pond in the back yard needs to be bailed out or I'm going to have a mosquito problem soon. I have to do that about 5 times in the spring. I enjoy doing it, but I am spread thin with all this. I'm to the point where I need a maid. Like so many people working jobs these days, raising kids, working 12 hour shifts nursing people in mental hospitals. That's a whole other book.

I don't like getting massages. Never have. Being touched by someone I love is nice. I don't need to be coddled, but to have someone on my side at the end of the day is a nice thing. Switch was my anchor for a decade like that. And Cynthia and Patty. I'm all alone now. Patty and Cynthia are dead. Switch served his purpose and I'm stepping up. Someone has to make decisions. Another day has gone by. What do you know? I look over at my other monitor and I've got daLibrary open and that is the only song on it. It's sitting at 5 seconds. Is that when the crowd kicks in? I could be on Mars playing the crowd in the background like I was using my rain Interstellar recording this morning. I could make a loop of it right now. Put it in the 404|707\747. All I have to do is press play and go over to the piano. Do you want more music from... Somewhere not here? Danka. Oh, CuteFTP. I like how the file browsers sync and have the decouple button.

Jobs. Just some quigglies. A sound. An abstraction. Artifact. If they put me on a rocket to Mars, or deep space right now. I'd feel loved. Well, as long as I had something useful like my DVD Collection. WALL-E sticking a thing in a hole. A lovely waltz. If I'm going to have Generation Z guests here, I'll need to fix the plumbing. Do I need to hire a plumber? I'm not sure I have the tools needed. My hunch is that the clog is in the toilet. Should I google it? Or should I just unbolt the toilet and see what happens? This will be the third time I've done this. I think I even have another tall wax ring to use. I've got the rubber one on now. First time I've used a rubber one. It is tricky getting it on there correclty. I used the small one last time. OK, I'm not listening to this song for the third time. What is next????? 1114 Oh yeah, this mornings song. Recording. Improvisation thing. The toilet. two bolts. Two nuts. 7/16th? 1/2". I think this one is half inch. Best guess. Or is it 9/16? Lift it up. Do I put it in the grey bus girl bin that is in the bathtub? Does it fit? I've got the 6' tape meaure in the kitchen drawer. I'll use the correct wrench. I've got plenty of wrenches around and you know, the expensive 6 month journey and all that jazz. Space A. CFTP.

6:41. It was 1/2". Should have known that was the best guess. Standard even thing. The bus person pan, the JUNK music fitting didn't work out. Perhaps it would, but it's a tight fit and I'm not taking the chance with it. Should I disconnect the tank? I'm choosing not to. I'll lift it up and move it to the bathtub in one movement. If I have to work on that device, that is the place to do it. I got the channel locks out of the yellow and black stanley tool box in the walk in closet. It was deemed a necessary tool and got moved into the space station. What was the name of that nuclear decay device? Wikipedia Voyager. RTGs. Radioisotope thermoelectric generators. Would we build a giant ship up there? Rotating? Centrifical force like a bicycle wheel? My guess is that it does work. Not so sure about fission part of it. Maybe? The music is good and I'm happy to be alive and be myself. Here is my green hair clip. 6:47 on the computer clock.

Toilet is up. Keeping the tank on was the right call. Moved it to an Amazon box. No, it was some other box. I keep a stack in the garage because you never know. They do come in handy. RTGs. The drain does a bend, like a 45 degree zig zag right away, but it looks clean and open and the rubber ring also looks mostly straight and clean. Much improved from the botched normal size wax wax ring installation that messed up the floor. But I put another beam in the floor the last time I did it. There is water damage down there, but the full dimensional original 1921 beams are still there and looking good. My wood flooring installation the second time was a little improved too. All looks good there. The problem has got to be in the crook in the toilet. Good and bad there. At least I'm not under the sink! LOL! Feels good to be taking care of business and not calling a plumber. They will still be around, but you know, you have to do something with your time. Some people don't like being cooped up on the space station. Some people don't like my spacy acid jazz music. Different strokes.

Perhaps I should just give in and surrender to the fact that I want to use all the names of the people I know. All my teachers and friends who I love so much. I don't really want to see them right now. I don't want a party with all my friends flying into town. I don't want to fly to them. Not that I'm going to hire a plumber for $3 anyway. The flight like a trillion dollars. You'd feel some kind of love in the journey. My friends have been fabulous. The first one who comes to mind is Lloyd Whittey. He was a kind of good heavy set black man with a beard that the Navy allowed him to grow. He plays clarinet and bass clarinet. We both love Eric Dolphy. I remember LLoyds laugh! He's wonderful. He played a gig with us at a hotel once. Played with us a couple times. His improvision was a little forgetable, but you know, so much time has gone by and he's probably working some things out. You really get to know people on all those van rides. Walking on aircraft carries with these people. I remember almost all of their names. I love their characters. When you see someone up close with their instrument playing, you get a sense of them that is hard to get with people who don't play. And now I'm thinking of Gary Rice. He is amazing. Totally amazing. Played The Sun Don't Lie for a warmup like I played Laura and Mysteriouso for a warmup. And that leads to Roswell Rudd. Ann has my Inside Job recording on record. I hope she still has it or has enjoyed it. Mysteriouso is fun on it. I remember the wobbly time of it. Getting faster and faster, and then slower! It's really funny. I didn't get any enjoyment out of the Jimmy Knepper CDs. Some meth person stole them. What was he going to do with a Jimmy Knepper CD! LOL!!

Should I put a rag in the pipe and delay? Should I go into the guts of the toilet, D3 guiding the way with love and inspiration? I haven't talked with D2 in a while. She gave me good advice. U do U. It's something I can follow through on. I'm useful. Water. I'm hearing all the synth stuff. Peter thinks I'm nuts using this XV thing. I like the weighted keys. The EP sound is great. Not so into the piano sounds. I know I switched to EP. Perhaps the EP and Synth sounds are similar enough that it gets lost in the mix? Posting...

Move to the clawtooth bathtub was successful. Kept the tank on. Balanced load. Heavy, but got it over the top and didn't wreck my back lowering it. Good to not be under a sink. Space saving devices on Earth. Animals don't do this, but you know, we go to Mars, so we are a team like that. I got a whiff of septic smell. I probably have to disassemble now. Tank and seat. I've never done this repair job before. I could get paranoid and say this was done to me on purpose, and I'd probably be right. But it wasn't like someone shoved something back in there. It was done through my diet and what I could get at the stores. And the timing of it all. It's a big team like that. Or you can choose that it's my idea or karma. Or that this is fiction. I don't know how Biden or Trump does it. How we got our names and all of that. Whether they are players or played players. Speakers or designers. Closer to the Art. My ex-girlfriend Michelle, not my ex-transgirlfriend, hope to kiss again, Michelle, has a bit of bathroom humour to her. She is quirky and I've learned to love that about her. I can't predict what goofy thing she is going to say next! She has a Jewish thing to her. It seems like they have several different styles in that culture. She seems pretty tortured too. We have a complicated history and it can be really hard on me. I don't know what her take on it all is. She has a very sweet side to her and we've shared a lot of good moments together, especially in the last few years. She took those pictures of me making pasta. She says she basically eats pasta for all her meals because she doesn't like cooking. She makes me ponder the efficiency of dried pasta vs making it on your own. She uses the bus extensively. The bus is very disturbing to me. It's not unusual for me to walk many miles instead of taking the bus. Human activity causes climate change and I'm a workaholic. Typing on this computer is a good use of resources all things considered. And hey, it could help us hop planets and restart the carbon cycle. Do our politicians know this? Do they all find out like I do? Do people find this out in college? Has it been some huge secret? Am I totally incorrect about a lot of things I'm theorizing? Do I need to rush and fix this toilet? Can it wait until 2am when I'm more alert?

Perhaps I should run this on for a few days? It's just some run on political rant. I put up the paywall on Kindle as a delievery mechanism. It's a good format with the dedicated app having full control over the screen. Like the code I write. CSS seems silly. I could just do the math. It's just a wrapper for the math. All these compounding rules and their language definitions. CSS is good for quick things. If I want to center some text box I say: screen.width / 2 - textBox.width / 2. In HTML you can use the center tag. In CSS, you use text-align: center I believe. I don't remember exactly. Vertical align with math is screen.height / 2 - textBox.height / 2. No HTML tag for that. CSS is v-align, but that usually doesn't work. Do you need CSS3 flex-box? It gets complicated. To be fair, textBox.height has code behind it too. Code can get complicated, but you know, everyone knows what width is and not many people know what flex-box is. Or text-align. Width simply has more meaning like that. It's a lower level thing I guess. Different ways of doing things. I prefer having access to raw basic elements. Some people like paint by numbers.

And that brings us to these modern lego designs. I think they are wonderful. You could argue the wastefulness of them. I got a lot of enjoyment out of them. I sold most of my collection for about $1,200 a few months ago. They are being used again. I had all the manuals in pristine condition. I had them color sorted because I had combined sets. I plan to be rebuilding WALL-E until something breaks and then I'll replace the broken piece. I would have done that with my entire collection. That was the original plan, but you know, that was silly. So much music to create. I only need a few sets to rebuild like that. All in all, I think the waste of it is minimal in this new economy. You have to do something with your time. Peter gives me crap about my DVD collection, but I'm quite serious about watching that stuff over and over. That is amazing work and a big part of my education. A gift that keeps on giving. I don't watch as much as I used to, but that could change rapidly. It would be wonderful to have my house full of young people and watche these movies together with my commentary about what I've learned from them. Every movie seems to have a great lesson. Perhaps people got that from TV? Like the LEGOs, I did that for a few years in my 40's. I had some pleasant downtime while I was working part time. I was also working quite hard with the posting with Switch, my music, programming side projects. Keeping the yard up. There I go name dropping again. Feeling guilty. Am I making a bad decision? I don't have enough information to know. His advice seems to be that it may be a bad decision. But then again, he is good at deceiving when it needs to be done. Is that a skill I can learn at 53 years old? After telling nothing but the truth and not having children or really teaching anyone? I don't see that as my function in this world. I'm kind of this sappy romantic person. I question everything over and over. Proving the theorem. Well, back to the toilet or what? Do I have to rush that job? Flies will start to appear, right? I guess I have to get to it this evening. It's been another long day like that. Gotta have something to do with your time.

Maybe I will find some object up in there? I don't know. We'll see. 7:50pm. CuteFTP...

8:20 on the Sharp clock. It's working. I've got pictures to share. I don't like taking my phone out of the house because the camera is so useful for things like this. The phones are wonderful power saving devices though. And just another walk-man on the trash stack. These monitors are amazing. I sold 2 plus a USB-C dock for a total of $70 yesterday. She got a nice flyer. Mary was very nice. A lovely woman.

The hose with the adjustable nozzle on it is working well. I put a lot of thought on whether to keep the tank on or off and what position to put it in in the bath tub. I guess I got lucky and got it right. I do get wiser with age, but you know, perhaps I'm just going through the motions. It's certainly training and practice. I've never had this happen in my life. I'm relieved that it is going so well. The repair might be finished. I'd like to run some more water through it but the bathtub is getting clogged now. I'm using an old bottle spout with the pokey air piece of metal sticking out from it to unclog the drain. Shit is just sitting between the drain and the toilet. I don't like the idea of putting it in the yard. I'll probably smash it and flush it once it is back together. Or perhaps in the garage. I suppose I can do that before I start moving the toilet out of the bathtub.

It's the classic Zen and the art of Motorcycle Maintanence thing. I risk damaging the toilet by doing this. I'm taking additional risk by not detatching the tank. My theory is that detatching the tank would put stress on the threads of the screws. Those things are a pain, so I tried doing it this way. I learned that the balance is much better this way. And it worked out perfectly for this job. So a risk turned into a discovery this time. Even discovering that you made a mess and broke something and ultimately had to spend more money would be a learning experience and you'd know better next time. Do that over a lifetime and you've got better skills that can be applied to all kinds of things. Physical and mental. But it is just a toilet and it will be nice for it to work again. To avoid it seems that it is a diet thing. I went back to my standard curry shopping today. Onions. That Chinese/Mexican hybrid fajita diet I was doing in the 90's was good for me back then. The curries were good for me this last decade or two. I'm kind of doing a hybrid between the two now. I don't like improvising in the kitchen, but things do evolve over time and I've been taking some risks in the kitchen. And I've been paying a price for it with several burned up pots and wasted food. I'm not sure I've learned anything significant and all that I'm getting out of it is "don't do dat". OK, now forshit cleanup. Making a smoothie. Post..

9:21pm. The toilet is seated again and is functioning properly. Success there, but the tall part of the ring didn't make it into the assembly, so, more work to do. It's OK. Nothing else going on this evening. The other bad news is that it looks like this has to be done in the garage too. More work to do. Do I use the hand truck with that one? Perhaps I should inspire some Gen Z'ers to spend some time with me and show them this post and then they can help me cart that one to the bathtub? I'm back to two functioning toilets. I've been going for 19 hours with a two hour nap. I'm not especially tired right now. Listening to the Rand's Thing recording. Rand's Thing was a photo of my mixing board, pot pipe and England plastic box (the ones I have on my cribbage boards). In the 90's, when I was smoking weed, I would clean my glass pipe daily with rubbing alcohol and pipe cleaners. It was a wonderful feeling to smoke out of a clean pipe every day and I enjoyed doing the cleaning. Spencer, Shaun and I were hanging out in my meditation area, but they did not smoke with me because you know, we were in the Navy and you weren't supposed to do that. I was fed up with trying to get high off of alcohol. The weed was much better. I was smoking about 2 bowls a day. Sometimes I would go a couple months without it and then back to a bowl or two a day. That lasted for about 2 years. When I was out of the Navy, I quickly got so poor that coming up with money for pot was a stupid idea. I've probably smoked a half ounce since 2001. I had a pathetic year and a half of nitrous oxide abuse when I was 40 years old. The picture of the day my feet went numb and had to get on a plane to Shaun's wedding is on this site. Or perhaps it was some other day, but it was right around that time. That was my low point in life. They had me on some terrible medication that I eventually had to say, enough is enough. They put me on litium last summer. Probably just the politcal experiment of internalizing lithium in this political thing of being a leader in the lithium economy. My experience was not going to college and working my way up the political ranks. It was very political though.

I used a bad sample from a Victor Wooten album on my website in 2015 or so. And I had one of my old sites on their that you could dig into and find a post that I had done when I was on the streets about the red spot on Jupiter. Victor embarrased the shit out of me in that concert of his that Patty and I went to. Before the concert started, we got seated and they started playing the Beneath the Mask album by Chick Corea to check the sound while setting up. I had played a keyboard solo on my Uno song (Patty's song) and I used a quote from a Chick Corea line on that album. I had that recording on my website, so that was a trigger in the concert. During the concert he went on saying some stuff about the Red Spot on Jupiter. I was describing it on my website from 2003 as a magnetic storm. And drawing the Bermuda Triangle theory into it. That was around the time I did that bipolar dot object on the streets. I can show you the math of my theory of the three plates and the triangle.

I was embarrased for years about what Vic had said during the concert, but the last few days I've been like, no, I think my theory holds up. Who knows? I see pictures in books. You need some serious equipment to really see it and even then you know, it could be some drawing somewhere in the lenses. You'd have to know your gear pretty well to really trust it and there are only a few people in the world that really know for sure. At least that is how my mind analyzes it.

Lloyd's alto saxophone playing friend, I keep on forgetting his name. Even back then it was like blocked in my mind. His think that stuck with me was about MIDI. It seemed like I was on the side of being against MIDI and he was for it. I don't know. MIDI is a protocol. I've written a program that writes MIDI language. Sam and I were messing around with coding that stuff in PHP. My best work on it was a kind of basic AI that I would program some chords into and it would use some random logic to create nice patterns with the chords. It created some interesting music. I've listened back on it and it, well, it's not really a keeper, but it was close I suppose. It's kind of like the computer opponent I wrote for my backgammon game in December of 2006. It works, but you do have an advantage over it. OK, back to the shit job... ... ... ... .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .... .... .... .....

10:32pm. The master bath toilet job is complete. Tools mostly put away. I felt so good when I put the toilet on the first time. It got it on correctly on the first try! But then I saw the rubber piece on the floor and knew I wouldn't be as lucky the next time. It took me 5 tries that time. No way to know if the ring is in there correctly. You simply can't see it. Hope for the best, observe.

The garage toilet is another problem; another day. I noticed a crack in the base the other day. And there is the problem that it would be good to have help with that job. Reminds me of the old Scavenger Hunt movie. We've got "scum" painted on a fence in the neighborhood, so maybe I'm not the only one who knows about that movie! Went back to my 4am recording. Took a couple showers. Slipped into my silk slip. Heated up a cup of ginger tea. Lights are low. All the lights in the house are on dimmers. I've replaced most of them. Need to do more sockets. Always something to do.

And that brings us to the concept of specialization. Does it help? Sometimes is my answer. I've now got a pastic shoebox with some turds in it on the back deck. I used a plastic bag to create a better seal on the lid. I used an old serving spoon that I was going to get rid of to try to free the blockage a few days ago. That time I cleaned it, but this time I'm likely to throw the whole thing in the trash. No one is burying there shit in their yard in the city that I know about. I'm a city acid jazz kid. I like the forest and all. Going hiking and mountain biking. I'm not a farmer at all. I've grown tomatoes, corn, fennel and I have a nice blueberry bush next to the door. I can only do so much and I pretty much throw in the towel with this agricultural stuff. Nora and Collie are very knowlegable about it. D3 is a farmer. I've reached out to some agricultural teachers lately, but they seem to be giving me the cold shoulder now. I also reached out to the Army Corps of Engineers to inquire about the dam, but they have given me the cold shoulder too. It would be nice to ask them some questions. Perhaps their time is too valuable that they need me to win the election first?

Would my time have been better spent campaigning today? If I were probably like many other candidates throughout the world, I may have hired a plumber to come over so that I could concentrate on what I specialize in. But with this politics thing I do, I consider all my skills important and every thing I do is some kind of political lesson. This is the way I've always functioned. I don't see how the skill of campaigning is worth more than... Well, there is a place for that and people that do that. It's not my thing and I guess I'll just own that. I do think my thing is more useful on the executive side of the government. I like the idea of leading people from the vice-presidency. Not sure how it has all worked before, but I don't think of a political precedence as some kind of mathematical law. It's not a 100% deal.

I'm not the only software engineer jazz trombonist. John Moak and Ken Spain are both excellent trombonists who are software engineers. Well, I know Ken is and I know John does something in the field. I don't think either of them have played music on aircraft carriers or have lived on the streets though. It's probably a safe bet that they haven't had sex with a partner who was 30 years older than them. We all have some uniquness about us. They have done things I haven't. I'm stacked with all kinds of heavy experience though. I tend to get a lot of tension from other people. Collie was really cool a couple months ago and addressed me as "4" in a conversation. That's pretty respectful to me. I seem to have adopted a lot of nicknames. Rando has been used for a long time. U111. The ones. 1114. Cus comes from Rando. U111 is my Dirty Pot persona. DJ4 is Track 14. And of course the math/logic angle. It was a serious gift to have not made it as a musician. To be able to do the math and programming to the extent that I did. The spiritual experience on the streets of it all. The decades long annoying torture experienced from D1. He wrote a couple songs for me. At least that we what it seemed like. Excellent songs that were on the radio.

Almost 11pm now. I'll likely start writing some hand written letters to try to attract some young people to do some work for me/us. Knowing me, I'll likely spend 25 minutes writing each one. I hope I get lucky and get a few hits. The other option is to roll the bones with the street distribution. That all starts with a 5 mile bike ride or worse, a bus ride that I pay for. It's a barrier. I need some tangible action. The mailings are the best shot at that. All I need are... Well, even if I just had one young person on my side, it would help out a lot. I'm not so into getting my old friends on my side. It would be nice if they started spreading the word, but talking with them is an exhausting chase that I'm trying to give up. Chasing a ghost like that. I love them, but that game is getting very, very old and tiring. It never worked before. I don't see any fun in that game. Having a respectful conversation with Betty was enough to heal that part of me. Perhaps I'll reach out to her again soon, but I want to get someone new on board with me. Someone who is not expecting a paycheck from me. Someone who understands that this is a very, very big deal and we are changing history here.

11:42pm now. I guess my 20 hour day is over now. I'm going to grab some food. Well, I shouldn't just sleep after eating, but you know, I haven't eaten since I made those curries. The trays are in the fridge and I need to transfer them to the quart mason jars. I think there is some leftover rice. Maybe I'll check back in. Probably need a few hours sleep before I can get back into writing political letters and put mailings together. This is time sensitive stuff. I could use help. If you are reading this, you definitely understand and know what to do to help. Be creative and take action.

Saturday 2024-03-30

4:00am You didn't think I was going to sleep much, did you? It's been working like this for weeks. Not much better in the last 8 months. Really been operating like this since I was 12 years old. Same kind of digital clock. I was using it to wake up at 5am when I was 14 or so. I disassembled it and took the snooze button out. Wasn't long before I was waking up before the alarm. Used the alarm sporadically during my Navy years. Haven't used it much since I got out of the Navy. I had to use it for my software job the last few years. It was aggravating, but I mostly woke up before the alarm. I would set it for 4am so I could be to work by 6am. Don't miss the boat.

Toilet is working great. Should I send you a push notification? I've never coded one. I'm not a pushy person like that. For the last 25 years I've been like, you know, here I am on the internet. You can search for my name on the internet. I'm the only one. My feminine name is a little less unique, but all three get you to me. Some people just call my Lydia. I'm going to highlight this one. With my "highlight" class which is background-color: yellow plus a little padding. CSS is good for some things.

It made me proud to read this interview question response I did the other day:

At the root of all our problems is the simple math that oil will run out. We pave our roads and shingle our houses with it. It is unlikely that we are going to “sustain” a population of 8-10 billion people with this emerging “lithium economy”. I’m suggesting that Generation Z have just one child per two women. If we can sustain that rate for 40 years, then we should be able to shrink our population to 2 billion by 2100. My platform is based on giving Generation Z what they need to accomplish this goal. I want to protect them from having to cater to a larger, aging population.

Pages and pages of text. Who has the time?

Industrial heat, with solar panels, on Mars. Can we speed up the process by crashing the moons into the planet in 2000 years? It's not likely that we are going to foget about technology. We just won't be able to pave so many roads. Apparently you need natural gas to make shingles. Who knew?

That Tesla/Elon Musk article that I mention at the end of my Platform Q&A mentions that people don't realize how much energy is coming from the sun. I mean, look, grass grows from it and that stuff can feed a cow! A cow can feed me. So can some other vegetables. I do need a good source of calcium. I'm not a humble bird and birds can't get to Mars. If we seed Mars, then is our job as a species complete? I don't have the answer and will never know. It would be a fucking miracle if population dropped to 4 billion when I die at 100 years old in 1971 like I project in the Stickies section. Living to 100 is unlikely, but I'm pretty fit and sharp. I don't know how sharp I'll be if I start having speeches before a hundred thousand people. I don't need that for confidence, but you know, I can certainly play music with the best of them. I may be nervous for a couple of minutes. It may help to meditate with them and drink some ginger tea.

Maybe it's best to let nature take her course and wait for the moons to do it? Probably not something you want to do too soon. You can read the Mars sticky for more of my astro physics musician dreamin thinkin. Billions of people down here. Didn't know how far along we would get. Was the original plan to just send DJ4? And her lady? Who else has trained. Perhaps I'm just the presidential person and I'm staying down here. Perhaps I'm doing the job right now and can retire at 5am this morning and Gen Z will just come over to my place to see the hobbit house, have some curries and make some music. Sitting shoulder to shoulder watching some movies. I assume that I won't be stuck with one partner for the rest of my life. I posted an ad for campaign mangers a few months ago. I got 435 responses in 2 weeks. I did my best to have 2 Zoom calls a day with people from this list. I would just send them a link to the call for the next day in an email and say hope to see you then. Most people showed up and I got the feeling that I'll continue that practice for the rest of my life. It takes about 15 minutes to setup the calls. Would I really want to hire a secretary for that job? Would I be depriving someone of the opportunity to do my scheduling? Perhaps. Would it rob me of the opportunity to do my scheduling? Perhaps. Would I have to set my Sharp alarm clock? I was scheduling them for 10am, so it wasn't a big thing, but I had to set it a couple times.

I've suspended the practice. I usually setup my calls for the next day at 4am. It's 4:26am now. I'll set up a couple calls here... And get some tea and use the toilet again. Did we find a space age solution to the old in/out game? Perhaps. I'm not a scientist like that. Biology and agriculture are not my forte. I do understand some things about them from the math logic side though. As it pertains to my somewhat complicated job that I'm carving out for myself. Getting billions of people to voluntarily change sex behaviors? Perhaps. Yes, that is what it seems to be. I don't know where these bytes end up. I'll never have complete control of that. It's almost pointless for me to even try. But I'm doing some public things. I've seen some news revolve around me a few times in the last 10 years. Or even 20 years ago? I don't know, I've been star struck a few times. Nothing that would launch me to fame, but I'm certainly not unknown like the people in my environment suggest. Things are weird in the neighborhood now and it's likely not just because I wear miniskirts and heels. Maybe handing out cards saying I was running for president last September had some impact?

Write in votes are a powerful thing. I'm curious what the election results are going to be.

4:38am. Shower timer set for 5am courtesty of D1. It doesn't matter how much toilet paper I use, I can take a shower right after having a bowl movement and I still have bile leakage. 20 minutes is the trick though. Works every time. I can wait up to a couple hours. You know, when natural calls, you gotta go. Doesn't matter what meeting you are in. I suppose performers have to have regular habits. It was never a problem for me in my 20's. It's definitely a problem now. Another control that keeps me in this environment. Anal itching and sleeping in piss were what drove me off of the streets after a year. I probably would have stayed on the streets if it wasn't so bad. It was starting to be summer and my work was going great. Maybe I'll practice La Belle in octaves over rainInDaStudio? Or perhaps just blow on my trombone. Trombone doesn't work well in apartments. My neighborhood is setup pretty well. Apartments around here and I'm close to them. Music house near the apartments. Fireside chats on cold days. Perhaps the government gig doesn't require travel? Or perhaps I retire after 12 years. Possibilities. I guess I'm getting a little cocky here. Do I have to humble myself and put on a fat Ducks shirt with the stretchy waist band and cuffs so I can be more normal? Is that what our culture really wants? If so, my options are stay here and see if other people change the world. I could be on the streets or do my hotel job and be myself. Or I could defect and head east where they have bicycles, rice and nice production work. The air sucks over there though. I had a wonderful, beautiful lady call me loyal last summer. It felt great having someone call me that. I do want to stick it out here and be loyal to myself. The DC job sounds great. I'd love to keep my home, but the mortgage is due tomorrow and I have no way of paying it. Not even close. But the internet bill is paid so the server can continue to run. I kept the phone service going. I use it a little bit. Even if both services end, I could put my website on some other hosting companies servers and still print flyers here as long as I have electricity. Or I could use the wifi without internet on my computer to connect to the hotspot on my phone to upload my files. It would actually work well, I went years without using any data at all on my phone. I pay $31.75 for prepaid phone service. It seems like I'm overpaying. I bought my second smartphone for about $150. The other one was about $700, but it had a fabulous high res camera on it. This phone has this quad pixel stuff. Interesting name, right? Apparently it takes more pictures and assembles a best of image. An 8MP image. My old camera gave me a 21MP image. The problem is the bigger file size, but it worked great with my picture viewer program with the zoom on the mouse wheel. Zooming in on the phone when you take the image is silly. I usually delete the pictures off of my phone every few months. I store them on my computer and make backups and make other images with my picture viewer program. I'm coding a better program I call DT 2d Studio and had a good work session on that last weekend. T-4min to shower time.

5:45am. I've got Force 10 on. A show of hands. I removed the videos from my site and have them on YouTube now. I have learned some design things over the years. I get a lot of crap from people about my abnormal, unprofessional design style. Perhaps it doesn't look so unprofessional anymore? Is it just confidence or was it practice? I've been stockpiling digital assets for a quarter century. No one seems to buy them but I make more and more. At least I'm not getting any money from it. If this works, I'll likely be in one form of lockdown for the rest of my life. I'm used to it. I suppose if you never saw me in person, you may get paranoid that all of this is just a movie. Would you believe it if China shut off production one day? Would I be telling them to do it? I just wrote in that highlighted section that I'm here to protect Generation Z from having to cater to a larger aging population. I'm quite serious about that. How would I do that. Just me? Would I grab a stick and push them away? Would I get elected and get you a debit card full of lottery winnings? Perhaps. Maybe we can do a medical thing and say that if men killed their seed, then we'll give you one of these cards. It's not a bad idea, but you may get bored just sitting around smoking pot and playing video games. I have faith that you'll eventually want to do a tour of duty growing some food. Why not? Well, transportation is one issue. It would be a working vacation. Going out to see the world. Perhaps your retirement is when you are young. Sure, I'll fight to get the older generations to not expect much from you, but they do need the basics of food, clothing and shelter. We're going to be relatively civil about this.

I'm a crazy street person saying she's running for vice-president. They are going to lock her up! Would you believe me if they didn't lock me up? I've already told dozens of doctors that I'm running for president. I spoke with them for about an hour. I'm not in the state hospital writing this. I was in the state hospital in 2009 coding my Dot Trombone app with the Window XP windows in it for iPad. I also have an easter egg in the code that allows you to switch it to Windows '98 mode. I'd love to get another developer to do an edit to it to put a switch in settings to choose between the two. Is this the kind of work that street people do? Is this the kind of work that politicians do? Is this the kind of work that rock stars do? Is this the kind of work that plumbers do?

You know, we've got all these videos. It might be slightly communistic in the sense that you better be fixing your toilet yourself instead of getting a Generation Z person to do it. Or get an Xer to do it if they have a kind heart. You're just sitting at home retired and we'll pass laws (if we have to) to tame this airline industry. There is going to be less JP8 out there. We don't want Gen Z working in the airline industry to have some 80 year old Xer to have a warm day or two flying thousands of miles away to eat a turkey with another Xer. That was just craziness! It was nice though. I would drive 120 miles to see my mom a few times a year. She moved away from Portland up to Olympia. My whole family did. Not sure why I settled back in Portland. Only two family members left that I know of. My aunt says I'm related to Jay Inslee. I did a desparate attempt to get his endorsement and/or donation so I could get in the voters pamphlet. Didn't work, so I guess we're not going to have that artifact laying around. Are you going to take a signed card off of a bike stand? I've made 40 in the last 2 days. CuteFTP. Anything can happen. Absolutely anything.

People don't want to be bothered with looking for a file. Or remembering a password. Or a phone number. We all remember our childhood phone numbers. I don't remember any of my friends numbers. I know a few passwords, including a couple strong, random ones. Files though, I'm way into knowing where I put things. I suppose things are more secure in your Documents folder, but I was taught to make a folder on my D: drive. The whole drive is my content. The C: drive is installed programs. On some computers, I have my content folder on the C: drive. Everything that is mine is in one folder. If the computer crashes, there is no encryption lock on it preventing me from accessing my own life's work. I was scared that I was going to lose everything including my life's digital assets 6 months ago. It was another training exercise. It would be a huge loss, but you know, I have such strong memories of it all. I would survive. I'm in this deal to sell my electric upright bass. I have my piano, my friggin piano for sale on Craigslist right now. Even if I sell these things, I'll likely not be able to pay my mortgage. I things turn around soon, then keeping the bass in the house might be a nice thing. My playing is limited on it, but I can show you what I know. I like working on it and Collie was amazing on it the other day. I want more of that in my life. I want more of her in my life. I want more of this Generation Z in my life.

I can't help it. I was trained to be this way. It is easy to manipulate someone when it is something that is good. How can being on the streets for years be good? To be young and hungry again. I guess that gig may be up and we may make an evolutionary leap to just being fucking amazing beings.

6.22am. I weighed in at 135 this morning. I just shaved with the pink stuff and brushed my teeth. Lipstick blond generation. I smelled a sewer smell from my mouth when I flossed. Was it real or a flashback? Was it just an electrical impulse being invoked?

Writing long, personalized, hand written letters? They may be more short and sweet, but I may get carried away. It would be fun to see these things appearing all over town without me doing much more. Then I would know this is working. Perhaps all over the country. I guess you can just click on the pdf and get it on your phone.

Perhaps I smell just as bad and people are avoiding me because of it? I can't really smell myself like that. If people don't want to be around me because of stuff like that, I understand. I suppose it is a professional hazard like hearing loss. My hearing is pretty good. I wasn't wearing ear plugs very much when walking by the jet engines. Glass bottles in the recylcing bin are a loud one. I only use a bottle or two a month. Same thing with cans. There is some plastic recycling. It seems like they build decks out of the stuff. Seems reasonable.

What's in my recycling bin right now? A large platic container that had cinnamon sticks in it. You wouldn't think twice about putting some cinnamon in a pie, would you? A small plastic lemonaid bottle. I hestitated to buy it because of the plastic waste, but it hit the spot. Then I was going to save the bottle because it flips well in my hand and is a nice small size. I decided I wouldn't be using it much. There is cardboard from the new 1.5 quart pot I bought. I burned up the last one because politics was so intense that I forgot about it. Cardboard from Sam's beer. He's trying to get sober again or so the story goes. My recycling was filled with beer bottles last week. Sam drinks more beer in a couple days than I've had in my entire life. He smokes more pot in a week than I've had in the last 23 years. I've got my thing and he's got his.

It's like yes, I'm promoting being thin and nimble. I'm not perfect and you know, I'm obviously very special and gifted. I get up at 4am excited to play music and meditate. When I was young, I would drink coffee in the morning, skip breakfast and lunch, and then have to cut myself off from practicing music in the evening so that I could make dinner. My brother and I both gained a lot of weight. It happend to him when he was 10 years old. We were making trays of saltine crackers with peanut butter and jelly on them. Not sure what his story was and he presumably died a few years ago. He lost the weight by bicycling as a messenger in his high school years. He never went to high school. He just skipped it. He led a very adventurous, intensly physical life. I've mostly had an Inside Job.

I gained weight when I was 35-40 from drinking soda pop with my meals. I knew better, but it was a better choice than drinking whiskey and coke. It's all corn. It was incredibly hard to lose that weight and I did it without exercising. I was working at home so there was no drive to bike commute. I tend to not bike unless I need to get somewhere. If I don't have a car, then biking or walking is how I'm getting there 98% of the time. It's like OK, gotta do it! But I lost the weight without exercising at all. I called it the prison diet. Bread and water. People would say it's not healthy. I'd be burning muscle or whatever. It's better than being diabetic in my opinion. I love having my body back. I've got a little pop belly. I'm a good candidate for liposuction, but I don't really know if I'll do that. If surgeries are in my future, then I might as well. I don't know what is going on with HRT. My doctors are well, taking care of me. They do the best with me they can. I guess they have done a pretty good job, but I struggled through a lot of it and am still struggling with what HRT I want to do now.

So it's back to the smell thing. M1 disowned me. I've had many friends disown me over this political stuff. M2 did it. They say what I'm doing is insane. I think I'm right on mark. It would be fun to have people supporting me and making this happen. The I told you so thing. No one wants to support you until everyone supports you. People typically get promoted to leader. Working their way up the company. I could have done that in the Navy. I suppose that is what I'm doing, just on a much, much bigger scale. Catching all the names in the news. Checking out the state of the nation. Moving target.

We're getting there. I had this incredible performance when Collie and Nora were here. I was playing piano and channeling some John Belushi New York hipster vibe and playing incredible stuff on the piano. And I was laughing hysterically. I'm laughing now thinking about it. It was an amazing moment in history! I'd love to tell you about it in person Gen Z! I wonder how many of you saw my work on the Sid the Science Kid website? Remember Gerlad's Weather Wheel? I coded that. Isaac and I did the site together. Fablevision Portland was wrapping down in the summer of 2008 and it was just me and Isaac in the office that summer. Then we started working from home. Isaac is incredible. He took the lead with the Actionscript 3 stuff, but I am an older guru type person and was talking about some recursive class extending I believe with Wayne Fiddler and Isaac. They were scratching their heads, but I was totally right about that. I did the same thing with Ben last year with that C# reflection stuff. Most programmers are database people and doing think as loopy and mathematical as I do. Sandbox Symphony was mine too of course. He was writing code using that byte array audio extraction and not getting anywhere with it. I just said to do it with the level from the audio that frame instead of parsing through all that data. Can you really animate a mouth like that by analyzing the frequencies? Or is it just volume? Most pitch is fairly monotone. The DT app uses that audio extraction for the time based pitch shift. Peter came up with the interpolate method. It's a bitwise operator trick. I don't fully understand it. It makes me think about linear algebra. Essentially it's and averaging mechanism. Or a mean averaging thing. It's a lot of data to be manipulating every audio frame, so either your computer needs to be fast, or the code has to be optimized.

People are obviously doing amazing things with audio processing. I'm loopy and just like a good loop to play over. I made a whole album with a mouse in 2002. Mousing around, Source Code. Wayne liked my music, but it wasn't very satisfying and I don't consider it a keeper. I listened to it a month ago trying to get some loops from it. There are a few there, but I'm not so into it now. It feels good to be practicing an instrument. Recordings are fun and all. Love them!! LOL John Belushi and all that! Hey, technology gets us to Mars and it can do other things too.

7:26am. Who makes the president's schedule? How do leaders operate? What exactly does the vice-president do? How can I get a houseful of Generation Z people in Portland and DC before I potentially smell so bad that they don't want to be around me? Not a show stopper but it would be nice to get some recognition. How hard do I have to work for this stuff? Give the lady a record contract all ready!

Is it the coffee? Someone has the answers about this health stuff. I wish someone would just tell me what the options are instead of having to keep guessing about this stuff. It's the whistleblower's job to keep guessing like this. I guess I want you to keep me in the dark about a lot of this. Does it really matter what happens to me physically? I would like to last longer and maintain my feminine edge that I enjoy so much. People probably see me as masculine right now. I can't deny that is going on, but I still see myself ending up in more of the lipstick blond category. I don't like makeup, but I have tried lipstick a couple times now. I'm not into the one I have. It's pretty silly. I like the hose and would keep wearing them, but the last set I got were not long enough. Those Hanes Silk Reflections worked great, but you know, it's a lot of trash. Not necessary, but I had a good time with that. Not sure how easy they are to make. Not sure what message I'm sending. I love them. More than the lipstick, but lipstick can be cool.

My 2.4" Amazon Basics sandal heels are fabulous. M2 likes flats but I hate them. I've mostly worn sandals and had long hair, so that is part of the gig I guess. I love it. The haircut turned out good. I like where it is now. I gave myself this haircut. I used to super glue beads in my hair. You can see that in the photo. No big deal. Cynthia wanted me to get a haircut so I did that once when I was with her. I also had Rosy give me a hair cut in the old neighborhood next to White House Motors and Capitol Hill School. That's where I started playing trombone with Jim. Jim is cool. We both drove those VW compact cars. We played trombone together all through high school. We never hung out as friends, but you know, my inner circle is small. Mostly just me and Sam. Sam and I have been sleeping together. I knew it would come to this one day and it was a form of torture for me. Now that we are here, it's pretty groovy. He's a silly guy. I wore my silk slip and black microfiber panties to bed with him a few weeks ago. We watched Straight No Chaser; a classic for us. He would do the Sam thing and go outside to have a smoke every 25 minutes. He can't make it half way through a meal without having a smoke. Is he going to sue me for defamation? I suppose if I become rich and famous I can buy him a turkey sandwich. Not sure if he is up for a trip to Mars or not. He's got some odd training. 7:47am now.

707 is not a woman made number, but 220 seems to be something we picked out of a hat. If I ever do air force one, I'd like to remove all the staff and have just Gen Z people with me on the way to do some industrial job or something. Or maybe we just sit in the parking lot and D3 can show us how the engine works. She's a pro like that. Looking forward to our weekly call tomorrow. She's worth the wait. She's loyal too. M2 appears to need your vote to get her back into my life. I love playing Lunar Lander with her, so please write me in for something. Pick a name, any name. They all have real power.

We have to make ourselves food. We have to transport it. We have to make old people food. We have to power our grain farms. We have to keep these trains going. We have to keep paving most of the roads, but we won't be building new ones. I have a politcal cartoon from 2020. It's two cockroaches. Parent Cockroach and child cockroach. Daughter, some day all of this will be yours while looking out at a buring apoclyptic scene with a skeleton and a tire fire. Perhaps it's us and not cockroaches? Just thought of that this morning. Not sure if things will go completely rural or completely city. They are builidng HVAC tubing on the other side of the apartments. Not sure what is going on in those buildings downtown. There doesn't seem to be much action there. That may change, but I hate the concept of those buildings. Then again, Mars and the moon sound great to me. Not sure what the difference is. Probably gravity. You know, a few of us are staying on Earth, so there is that lottery game.

I envision Generation Z being fit and riding bicyles in the suburbs. Does that fit with this transgender killing your seed thing? Not sure what the doctors have figured out. Kris and Kelly are on top of it for sure. They spoon feed me information as needed. You know, riding bicycles, but staying in the houses mostly. House Arrest was the show that the songs D1 made for me were playing on. Many, many stories and it would be fun to read other people writing things about me that I didn't even know about me. There might be a lot of that. I guess I'm an overachiever in this election business. You know how to support me. It's an inside job, but you know, we all control our own bodies and these round bubbles have to be filled in. We still need to make pens and pianos and some paper. Maybe the musicians figured out how to bypass the page flip, but you know, everyone has their style and technology. 8:03am. Politics. Cute.

OK OK, there is more important stuff to write. Back to my recylcing bin...

When I was working the full time software job and going to support groups learning how to meet people in the last couple years, I was so busy that I was buying egg salad sandwiches in plastic conainers. I kept up my dedicated Saturday cooking routine for the first year of the job, but then it became too much. And then the house became a mess because I'm running a political campaign again and well, it just all fell apart. The point I'm trying to make is that we are just compounding the problem by being lazy or even having to use these modern conviences of people specializing in sandwhich making. You can go on and on analyzing one specific product or environment, but it all adds up to this rat race. A compounding virus. We are not the only species who have had compounding population problems as far as I understand. That isn't a big specialty of mine. Just enough to do the job. You get the idea.

I didn't get this all from switch. At least not directly. It's an interesting interaction with these ultra-famous people. What is my hit count? Refresh...

The dottrombone picture viewer video that I posted on YouTube a few days ago has 3 views. Is that what you are seeing? Just YouTube search Rachel Lydia Rand. That shows my two videos, right? Is my website still getting 50 hits a day like I have been monitoring since the 2020 election? Most of them robots? Is this kindergarten logic I'm writing about? Is this old news? Am I the one playing catch up here? Are people stealing my ideas? Are they even my ideas? Everything can be stolen, right? It's the Interstellar line. The public wouldn't allow funding on space exploration while we are struggling to put food on the table. So we had to work underground. What if big tech just gave you all this money. What if everyone was a millionaire? What would the numbers on the bills mean then? Big money in politics? Big money in tech? BIG MONEY goes around the world. Is my trombone playing a source of power? Was it created through money? Education? Work. Time? An investment? We need to grow food. I eat the equivelant of two or three cauliflowers a day. I would have to plant 3 every day. I would have to harvest 3 every day. Every single day. I would have to tend to them, mostly likely depending upon the environment. Can we make an AI machine to do that work so I can take a vacation? Then I would need a plane. Can we make AI make me a plane? A big 707. Big enough for me and my friends with plenty of leg room.

The rat race. Now that my time is freed up from not having to plant cauliflower, I can do something else. No, I must do something else. Planting cauliflower was lower level work. I'd rather be playing music and soccer. Instruments last forever if taken care of, bicycles last a long time if they are stored indoors when not riding. OK, OK, I should spray down my TREK 730. The hose is still connected. I guess I do have aids. 8:35am.

8:39am. I guess I killed two birds with one stone on that one. 4 minutes to spray down the bike. Now what am I going to do? I've got a photo opportunity setup with the bike and the triflow. Maybe you'll see a timestamp on the image? Would you trust them dots? I'm waiting for it to dry. May be an hour or so. I was too late to get a picture of the dirt, but I trust that you get the idea that it was quite dirty. It needed to be sprayed down. I've been riding it a bit for the last few months. It hasn't gotten sprayed down forever. I used it to get groceries when I didn't have a car in 2020. That's how I bumped into M1 on the way to the store. She's a lovely mess! I'm scared to eat now for fear of clogging the toilet again. My BM this morning was another huge one. My food situation is all messed up. My life has been in chaos like that since August. Really for a year or two. I've got my curries going again. I ate 20 taco size flour tortillas this week too. I guess I'm a litte stressed out about paying my mortage and working long hours without pay. I get the feeling that I'm not working class though. Not middle or upper class either. Perhaps all three. I'd love to play my music in a high class piano bar. Oh, I mean my living room, all alone with a camera. I mean really, it would be nice to have some lovely lady or translady, or even a cute guy, put their hand on my shoulder and say, you are doing a fine job here. You are loyal. People get freaked out about this international system and the communistic red stamp. We want freedom to go to Mars and the moon with chocolate bars, coffee and nylons. Every day was Christmas. The electricity flowed like wind and the bass sounded so quality oomph.

When David Torres was shooting video of Sam and I, he wanted to do a CNN treatment on it. Many people have suggested this to me. I've been against it, but today looking at the video that embeded video on my two pages with the cover page, well, that looks fabulous. It was worth the wait. I kind of like having just the two videos. Well, three if you are reading this. The mp3s and pictures are more important to me. Not sure how many people are connected enough to see all these videos. I did a nice interview at KATU studios and they had a nice setup in that small room. I enjoy doing interviews. I've done 4 now. I've got my minesweeper tutorial video too. I guess I can remove the videos folder from my server now.

With my music and app downloads for the music page and the political page on dottrombone.com, there are 253MB of files. That's pretty streamlined in this modern age. Google can manage the server traffic. I hope to not have to go on big tours, but then again I wouldn't mind it. I love being at home. I've been working the last 6 months on figuring out what I need to do the Rand thing on the road. I can carry my 5 string in the hard case and my trombone in the soft case a smallish piece of luggage without wheels. No point in carrying the wheels around, they take up a lot of space. But I am taking my pressure cooker in my luggage. I wouldn't feel right without one of those around. And then I settled on some other gear. If I'm really going to do my show, then I would take my keyboard in its hard case. My PA speaker. My FX12 board in the travle case I got for it. My 4 space rack with the MOTU and headphone amp. Headphones x3. Microphone x3. Tama mic stand x3. Brother printer. 2 desktop computers (I would buld a case for the CPU, memory, 750Ti video card and the Firewire PCIe card). The SP404 (it's proved it's worth). 5 gallon water bottles x2 (drums), Doumbek. Shaker. Triangle. So so on the LP bells. Funkifying the Clave book x2. West African Drumset book x2. Trek 730. The wood tables I made for the 2 computers. The 3 identical Dell Ultrasharp Monitors. The Dell Widescreen monitor for the long timelines. Electronic odds and ends. The nice coffee table I built. One or two of my patio chairs. A stool (not very useful, but it is a good gimick and is kind of nice on stage). Manhassett music stand x1. X stands x3. Boards for the stands. 1' mediation board. Box of yoga blankets. Twin size futon just in case. Small box of clothes. My Go board and fancy stones. A couple other board games. Electonic odds and ends.

That's what I need to tour properly. Not to mention a piano. If I had to go minimal, I'd take my purse [silver spoon, current hemp project, spool of hemp, athenahealth notebook, bic pen, toothbrush, small toothpaste, large floss (regular), lip stuff (lipstick maybe), keys w/1.5" swiss army knife, wallet, JBL corded headphone buds, phone, pennywhistle, Pro-Mark Hickory Rock 747 sticks]. It would be nice to have a change of clothes as well, but I'm not into lugging that around in min mode.

Would I move all that to DC? Probably not. If I'm keeping my house, I'd just keep that stuff here. It's a part of history and I'd likely be back at some time. It would be fun to see pictures of my house filled with Gen Z'ers playing my instruments and hearing their mp3s. Or whatever they would do with it. I'd take my bass, trombone, purse and bag with the pressure cooker. I'd get new equipment to duplicate the scene in DC. Does that make sense or should I travel across the country with all the gear? Would people like to see that? Perhaps. I could do three or four two month stops on the way across the country. And then I would have my whole scene. And some people would experience my thing in their environment. Or I lose the election and I do an extended tour like that. It feels like we are doing this global change stuff now, but you know, I see 3 hits on my video. I'm an experienced campaigner and now the downside of advertising too early. I sent out hundred of thousands of emails back in 2007 advertising picstopuzzles. Did I pick up fans then? I don't see any direct evidence of that. I've really only had one person email me out of the blue. She said she liked my circle show. I thought that was wonderful. It is a good program, right? Screens. Too much to spell check here folks. Of course I would take my nice clicky keyboard.

9:39am The moth and peace bomb were my devices. Brandon came up with the other 3. It's interesting how the 4 of them wound up on my dottrombone graphic. I see it as the design pattern of the little facebook, in and all that. Moth is a living creature. Peace and bombs are ideas. Anvil is industry and radiation is the universe. Cool stuff, right? 9:41.

10:17am Do we think that rock stars live in luxery? I've spent the last half hour making a dozen personalized letters. Important stuff if you ask me. Are all my political theories incorrect? I certainly don't have all the answers, but these major concepts are making sense to me. Is this a surprise? Is this exciting enough to get us through for a few decades? The younger generation may not know, and I may have lived a sheltered life, but it appears that what us older people have seen does not make a lot of sense. Certainly these news broadcasts are weird. We've had some fun building all this stuff. I'm having a blast using computers and these fine $500 instruments. YMMV.

Does China want some kind of payback for all this? My gut feeling is that they did this out of love. They'll appreciate the time off just as much as we will. The bulk of things around here were built locally. Sure, we move stuff around, but we aren't moving the rocks in our roads or shingles from China. My first job was working as a janitor in a rock quarry.

10:39am The trombonist who replaced me when I was getting kicked out of the Navy for smoking pot was an amazing player. I felt he was better than me and he had a lovely latina wife. He had played trombone in the Marines for 12 years and then transfered to the Navy. I felt embarrased. I was getting divorced and getting kicked out of the Navy and had nothing lined up. It was a humbling experience like that. There were a lot of humbling experiences in the Navy. I was accepted there for the most part. Everyone knew me as me. I live out loud like that. Doing my mediation and yoga thing. Riding my bicycle. Listening to crazy old school acid jazz. I had never experienced bar music before. Still haven't really except for my experiences with them playing Mustang Sally and tunes like that. It was a culture shock for me. Before the Navy I was hanging out with Kevin, Marge and Jesse and we would do acid, blow bubbles with a six inch fan on a light tree of colored light bulbs while listening to Joe Henderson with Alice Coltrane and of course David Liebman's What it is. When I was meditating at home I usually had Ole Coltrane on. A six inch clip on fan, a clip on light pointed up at a plant. The shadows on the walls. Sometimes smoking a little pot. Drinking some water. I've always done this and I love it so. My website is a reflection of that energy. Do people not like it or is it blocked? There certainly seems to be a higher purpose in it all.

My transtions book goes into those years of the head of the thinking of the world as absurd. I was studying absurdism. I called it the absurd business world. How can I work so hard and be so marginalized? The rat race. I've lived this frustration. I didn't read it out of a book. I slept in flea pits and hauled gear up the sides of Navy destroyers in the rain. There were so many fleas it looked like the electricity we created with those bubble trees! Oh my LOL! All kinds of adventures. I feel bad that so many people don't have adventures like that. Are all the seedy people on the streets just living out adventures like that or are they smoking meth? I tried it twice. Well, when I say that, you know or if you don't know, I mean it's a one day thing. I tried all three routes of ingesting it. Well, I guess there are 4 ways. This crazy guy with aids injected me with it 3 times. He missed my vein in both arms and it didn't do anything. Then the next day he shot it in my vein and I got the weak knee thing. Then I had to drive around the puget sound. I was doing the casey jones thing of watching my speed like a hawk when I was rolling past 50 cop cars and a few fire trucks all with their lights on while House Arrest started playing on the radio. It was sketchy. I wound up in detox for a week. I couldn't even speak because that stuff was starting to seep into my blood so I went up to this fire station and showed them my arms. They got me a taxi ride to the hospital. I was doing my typical thing in the hospital of playing drums on my legs with my hands and feet while I was crazy tired. When I got out and found my van, the keys were locked inside. So I found some object nearby to pry the window open enough to unlock it. I think it was 6 months later that I smoked the stuff with Dan. It was pretty stupid and he had a lesson for me. A stupid lesson. Dan is great. I always have this vision of creating a stoner video with him with how we were in the van. He has Korean heritage and I would drive and he would be behind us in the center in the captains chair. Dan is hillarious! And he has a dark side. I could go on and on.

And I think I will! Haha. I took ecstacy about 8 times in the rave scene. I like that techno influence in me. The dancing all night was interesing. Looking up at a flood light when it is raining is fun when you are tripping. I like the beauty in it all. The speedy tripper vibe of it all is fun too, but I like sappy emotion better. Sappy tripper emotion. Acid jazz blues. It's good to be a little eccentric. I didn't ever want to be homeless. When I got out of the Navy, I wanted my music to be a success so that I could buy a house like the one I have now with a music studio in the living room. Spencer, Ann and I (mostly Ann), were building the barn to be a woodshop and upstairs music studio. I didn't stick around long enough to see it completed. It was worth all my struggles to get to the house I'm in now. Music has been good. Could have been better if I wasn't working so hard on other jobs, but I'm not the only one with that reality. I've got my thing. I'm a solid multi-instrumentalist. I have a decent ear. I have a solid work ethic. I've got character and soul. Trombone isn't a great instrument for speed. Dragging that slide around like it was a hittest(). Leave it to a trombonist to code a collision dectection on the streets that slides. You can use my collision detection code on the Code page of dottrombone.com to make a javascript pinball machine. I originally coded it in Flash. Warren Stokes and I were working together to make a phone game that was like a pinball marble game. It worked and we were able to get two players in the maze pinball thing at the same time on two different devices. I played it with a friend of Peter's on a bench outside of a restaurant. Play around with that code and give me a link to what you create. I think that would be a blast.

An interviewer asked me if I was serious about coding a video game at the capitol if I get elected. Of course I am. I've been trying to make that game for years. Keith thought was way too complicated. It is a complicated thing, but I certainly know how to do it and it wouldn't take all that long. It would be a good project to get someone else started on. There is a hardware component to it. It uses three spinner controls. Not sure that we want that to be a fad and having to produce a bunch of those. Spinners are fun, but they are also a little limiting. I have one of them to play Tempest, Arkanoid, Star Trek etc... I've spent about $800 on arcade controls. The only console gaming unit I've owned was that Atari 2600 I grew up with. There were all these vietnamese kids in the neighborhood for a few years and after school on a rainy day we would be at this other kids house down the street. Maybe 12 of us sitting in a dark basement calmly waiting for our turn to play Space Invaders on the 2600. That is a fun memory of mine. Our generation. It sure would be fun to play games with M2 again.

I've got Flick Bricker on an inexpensive Dell touchscreen montior. They are much better than they were just a few years ago. They have the nice sleek design now. I've made several museum apps like the one in the Harley Davidson museum. I've been getting the feeling that one day they'll just turn the screens in this McDonald's down the road into Flick Bricker games. Or maybe even all those lottery games. I don't see what people get out of those. I'm an arcade person and like the angles of the aiming. I like dancing with the Flick Bricker game on the touch screen. It's quite a show. We should make a video of me up in my studio with that. What games do you have at your place?

The last time I saw Dan was kind of pathetic. I think it was all just a silly eductional experience we were going through. Tito's burritos and DJ Wheelz and all that. They are kind of mysterious. In that last moment I told Dan that I was rich. My house and my skills that paid for it, but more about my skills. Perhaps it is a bit of a hollow victory. I'm excited today, but you know, this is just what I do. It's a job and a lifestyle. I don't know what else to do. Do you want me to stop writing? Would you have a rock star not touring? Did they even tour at all? Taking plane flights? What was that all about? We flew the military plane around Mt. Rushmore a few times. They were all taking pictures. I didn't care too much about taking cameras with me. But I do have a nice printed photograph of Steve Tomlinson in Africa. Steve is a trombonist and pianist. He did double duty like that in the Navy. He was getting really good in the last year before I left. He married a lady from Peru. Aparently it didn't work out long term. Steve and I went 50/50 to buy Cakewalk 8. He sang on a song, but I chickened out. I just wasn't that advanced with chords yet. I finally learned how to sing properly a few years ago with George and Mike. I told them that I wasn't willing to give up my music to do cover music and that kind of put a wedge between us. What can I do? This is who I am. Perhaps that was all just a setup learning game too. We had a lot of fun playing together! They are a riot. Good times! Just rehearsing in a converted garage. George and I got together a couple times away from the drums and that was better sonically.

Am I getting any work done? What about distributing flyers? Do I really have to put my biking clothes on and play mail-trans-woman again? I don't even have a solid destination. Where am I going to distribute these? Those guys are fucking crazy! A million miles away. We all have our daily cycles. Cute.

11:51am Can't keep away from posting. Gotta go with where the energy is and it's on the keyboard right now. David Lee Roth singing now. Eddie playing. Michael and Alex laying down that thick shuffle. Bass is tight. I've learned to appreciate Michael more and more over the years. I'm sorry I'm not such a fan of newer music. I take it in smaller chuncks. It is very triggering for me and I like internalizing the older stuff more and more. I've been listening to music with lyrics quite a bit in the last decade. I enjoy singing, but writing lyrics is not good with me. Singing isn't very good either, but I enjoy trying. I suppose I have a dream of playing a big concert and doing my bass and singing thing to the classics and having an 8 bar (fat fingered got an 89 on that one) phrase to start it off and then have the whole crowd singing along with me. I've learned a lot from the lyrics of the songs in my vacuum of a life, but I mostly come for the music. I love it all. Well, I love all of what I love. Love it in my soul. I study it and make it more real. It'll take some effort to transcribe my piano improvisations. I know my tricks, but it is fairly unpredictable. I played so many repeatitive grooves that it is refreshing to not play in time now. Also refreshing to play solo piano. I've been a solo musician for so long anyway that I just kind of stick with that. It would be fun to play non-humble music with other musicians. All they give me is the humble shit. It's been good and very, very frustrating. They must be doing this on purpose. How to get people here that are not doing that. I'm tired of the chase of all of that. They obviously need me to do this incredibly hard job. There may be others. I have clue no. It is likely that it is as simple as we have to reduce population and my life has been dedicated to the cause. If so, they would make some backups. Or is this a daili lama thing I'm in and it's a one person thing until you die and then they gift someone else? That is a game too and might be an aspect of my game, but it likely is about skipping planets and reducing population. Do the older generations know? That is likely. They keep me guessing. This isn't ordinary politics though. This is definitely rock star politics. Bill played the saxophone. Who knows what any one's history really is. My world is so crazy they could have faked the whole thing to make me who I am. It really is that weird.

But then I'm just one person. On a computer. Everyone has a computer in their pocket now. All around the world, right? We didn't have this technology 50 years ago. I'm not 100% certain of that, but it is likely. Radio? Electricity? AM/FM. AC/DC? A long way to the top? It is a long way to Mars. We would need a big ship. Big Bad Bill now. VH Senior is cool! Sometimes I enjoy the song. Swapped out for Go Girl Go.

All these mental hospital visits have been pretty much the same pattern. I work really really hard, I get off of my medication, I get excited and do amazing work, then I get tired and it becomes delusional work and then I hit the depressive stage where I can't sleep and I'm just a zombie. A couple times in that zombie state I stripped naked. That was the thing on 2012-12-18. That must have been funny. All in the Delusional book. They lock me up. When I was younger, I'd ask for notebook paper and a pen so I could get to work. The place is full of other people walking the halls. All locked up with those magnetic doors. Pretty terrible company. No music. If there are instruments, it's like an acoustic guitar with the strings an inch away from the neck. The bring you your food on a school lunch tray. I tend to do yoga moves with it. As I got older, I stopped doing the math and programming on paper and just kind of meditate with it. The last couple times I was doing that advanced yoga airplane pose a lot. They come an take your blood. You go to the counter and get your pills. The staff is mellow and weird. I feel bad for them. They likely feel bad for us. Not sure why any of us are there. Is it helping? Will my sobering people up with this daily thoughts post put the world on a new mission and we won't have to do that anymore? Will we turn those places into M*A*S*H transgender surgery places? Not sure that it is worth the trade. Maybe. I can't say that I'm not interested in getting rid of my male package. I walk around in tight skirts with my stuff showing. Perhaps that is a turnoff like a lady with huge breasts. What can I do? Is M2 getting surgery? Is that my choice? Do I have to make choices that affect health on that level? Commander in Chief? I do seem more like the spirit of the country to be hear. I'm capable of leading. I carry a coin in my pocket. I have a block of dice in the other room. Not sure if I still have the dark green dice I found down the road anymore. It may still be next to the mailbox key. Sun is on my monitor now, so I'm blind AND without spellcheck now. Too much to proofread for spelling errors. Doesn't matter anyway, does it? I put in my 10,000 hours with these keyboard and it's mostly accurate.

Progamming errors are interesting. There is a typo typo. There is a logical typo (zig when you should have zagged). And then the language translation typo. Those are annoying. You read all those things on stack overflow and get all that weird dialect and it annoys you and then you find yourself doing it! I fight against that. I want to be mostly proper with my language. I've learned over the years that traditional things can be nice. Setting the table with serving bowls. I have serving spoons. I take the food out of the 8 quart pot or warming pot an dput it in the serving bowl. I put a serving spoon in it and put it on the table. You might think this is stuck up behavior, but I like keeping the food that may go back in the refidgerator away from the spoons that people are eating with. Sure, it's a waste of water. That may be a big problem where you live. Do what is good for your community and don't make radical behavior changes with food and water and things like that. If everyone changed their behaviors, we'd have some problems adpating. We may not even be able to adapt and then you really would see some conflict out there.

Keep doing what you are doing unless you are young. If you are young, join me and we'll figure out how to break you free from all this old shit. Not all of it, but a good deal. Older people are going to have to change too. It's like OK, if this was all to reset the carbon cycle and hop a planet, fine, I guess that was a good cause. But we can never last like this and the time to change is now. I'm the whistleblower. That is my function and this old gig is up. I'm not saying you have to adopt my style, but I trust that you can all see how silly things have become here and I trust that you can understand what I'm saying here. I'm not the only one with this information, but I am the whistleblower. I've been around in a major way. I'm connected with these ultra-famous people in an underground way. They know what they are doing. My life wasn't an absurd accident. Perhaps this mess of a culture wasn't an accident either and parts of it were made to give an important lesson. We have to stop buring this oil before it runs out. There will be less for the roads. We probably want to reduce population even faster than I'm suggesting. I'm not micromanaging this. It's up to you to understand and take action. Have your own culture and respect these older people. I sure could use a few nice healthy young people in my environment to teach personally. I've got a lot of lessons around the house. I'd love to cook with you, watch some movies and play some music. Just having a few of you over here and it not being the humble show will send me to cloud with joy and pride. I'm hardened and think I can keep my head together, but it's a little crazy. I know it's weird for you too. I'm Zen. I'm just here doing my thing and I'm curious about you. I'm trying to change the world with my underground friends, but I have a personal life too.

Not sure how underground this all is. It may be a huge ass open secret. The message remains the same though. We all have our mysteries. There is a chance that I've got all this wrong and we can milk blood out of a turnip. That we can just send a shit ton of solar panels to mars and make houses out of that red dust. Solar panels may be working in California, but it's not as good in the north. They say that we can recycle the oil out of the roads, but because it has been oxidized, we can only use about 20% recycled material in the new product. Oxidation happens. There is no free lunch and everything will end. Not sure how much fissionable material there is around. Hopefully there is a lot. Or these wind turbines really work. Why wouldn't we have made them 100 years ago if they were better? It's just a big ass copper winding with a magnet and some metal with a concrete base. Not rocket science.

1.21pm Grimes.

Grimes was an Army trumpet player who I roomed with at the Navy School of Music (SOM). I think he played trumpet. The skylight isn't shining on my monitor anymore. Perhaps this isn't he best place in the house for it, but the backdrop is nice. We used to get pizza delivered from Checkers. Pizza and wings. They had excellent wings with a thick red sauce and it was covered in pepper seeds. Pizza was good too. I excelled in boot camp, but the sleep depravation was getting to me. I was just kind of on vaction at SOM. The house we bought years later was just a mile down the road. The amphibious base where the seals trained supposedly. My neighbor was a seal, but barely knew him. I think it's OK to not know your neighbors. People get a lot of grief over not knowing their neighbors, but how I feel about it is that you go home to get away from it all. It's your sanctuary. If the people directly around you are constantly interacting with you, you lose some of that special thing that makes home home. I know a few of my neighbors. I certainly know the neighbors on either side of me. Neither of them has moved since I moved in. We've got a weird tough eduction thing going on in the neighborhood. It's going to be interesting to see what happens.

Unless I get a donation in the next 36 hours, I'm going to miss my mortgage payment. The first payment I've missed since well, since that American Express Blue Card thing with Wynton and all those family members. The training of it all is intense. Are they using me as some negative American example? Do they have it in 4 me! What will become of me? Are they betting on me? What if I make the wrong move? Will other people die? Will I be checkmated? Will I have to spend the rest of my life locked up in the house with M1 and her cats?

I've been mentally tortured. It's kind of like that Star Trek episode with that chair in the mental place. Imagine having your mind emptied without someone to torment you. Is that what is in store for me on the moon? This was a new idea to me 21 years ago, so I've had time to get used to it. Is it just a psychological lesson?

I texted D3 and asked her if the fans on the wind turbines on the jets are generating electricity. It's more than just mechanics and M2 is a physicist. The three of us should be able to get to the bottom of this mechanical puzzle. We're all trans so it would be fun to be in bed with both of them at the same time. Maybe the joke is on us, but I'm having fun so what the hell! HELL!!()$@U)

LOL. This executive branch gig is intense. Working for yourself and having to come up with your own schedule like this. Where do ideas come from anyway? Someone had to put the first hole in the punch card. Is that a clue to distribute these nice flyers I made. Is my heart still into that? Did the wind turbine thing burst my bubble? Well, I wasn't considering that at all anyway. There is a lull in energy though. Marcus is slapping. It was fun hearing Gary play those lines. Melodies are great. Marcus is good at it.

Different part of the cycle. The 2000 year idea is like, we'll make a good showing on Mars. A good show up there and then if we survive, we'll try to do it again. It's something to work toward. This is pretty much end state with my thinking. I'm not the most knowledgable person in the world. I've been around though and have a good head for logic and theory. I've got a lot of soul too. Music is entertainment. Politics is a show too. It's all a show really after we get a bite to eat. I ate curries without rice. I hope I don't have another toilet problem. I was eating the organic potatoes, but the two main stores I go to are not carrying them anymore. They stopped that about 8 months ago. Maybe a year. New Seasons has them, but they are expensive. Can I do all my shopping in there? I have a hard time seeing the cashiers. Maybe they like doing that gig. I mean, I like checking groceries, but 8 hour shifts of that? I used to do 3 two hour shifts of standing at attention in a day. 20 years of that will get to you! Did I like it? A little bit, sure. I'm zen like that. I liked looking clean and uniformed. I would have rather been creating music like I do these days, but you know, that doesn't sell I suppose. They kind of play it safe. When it comes to me, well maybe I was just damn special and they did special things for me. What did they do to others? The music gig can be weird. What are you going to do? Playing trombone isn't the best way to buy a house. And it's good to have a house because no one wants you to be blowing hot trombone while you are trying to get a nap. My neighbors can probably hear me at 4am here, but it's not like it is on the other side of the wall.

Perhaps my noise to signal ratio is getting out of control. I think I served my purpose with this post. The stickies are not an ajax thing, so it's all just run on text on this site anyway. The daily thoughts html with the stickies comes to 124KB right now. It's tiny. The main page is 40KB. This is sensible content for broadcasting to small devices around the world. I'm not in charge of distribution like that.

Am I the problem or the solution?

3:24pm She'll be back.

This is a very challenging game I'm involved in. It's easy to think that big industry is against me and is pulling me down. I don't believe that intelluctually though. I work out the thinking on all this mostly on my own. At least I'm not talking this through with someone in person or on the phone. These ideas of mine have developed over a lifetime of work experiences. Did I fuck up my body with the toilet repair last night? I wouldn't be the only one in history who has done that. Do I need to surrender to the fact that I need help and can't do it all alone?

The rant continues...

The blog. What is the truth? If I was a normal person, I'd think people were out to get me. I've had paranoid thoughts like that before. Mostly when I got out of the Navy and started living in my car. They didn't last very long and were replaced with the idea that people were out to help me. I see a lot of tough love around me. It's hard to do this job.

I have more money now. Let's see what is in the cash box... $220Hz cycles per second frequency. Day/Night. I'm listening to the rainInDaStudio recording again. Can I win this war? This personal war? Is it loneliness that I'm fighting? Is it fighting for my music and culture? Am I simply fighting to pay my bills. Did I do a decade of full time work on my website without pay so that I could pay the bills? Was it a hobby? Obviously not. If other people are on board with these politics, then do they need me? Am I just a cheerleader? An educator? Can I retire now? Rachel Rand's Bikini Hot Tub Retirement at her home on Earth? How am I supposed to clean the tub now? Was that why Ann had that way about her saying Bleach? Did the kids leave the bleach here? The roll of paper towels I bought a month or two ago is on the counter and mostly not used. No one to help you on the moon base. We're going to Mars, so why would we waste resources there? Never worked in low gravity before. Never did gardening there. We all play triple duty up that and I have triple duty skills.

There must have been unknowns when all this was put into place. How are things going? I'm going to have to eat again. I have pasta. M1 leads the way there. The torment of my father came up when I was folding laundry. He had a colostomy and was suggesting I knit bags for the pouch for a living. Here I am braiding hemp. Is cotton going to last? How are the bees doing? Are we going back to hemp clothing eventually? Are we going to replace a good deal of the corn with hemp?

In order to help Generation Z, we need to be eating mechanical crop food. Otherwise they are going to be farming like crazy for us. We have decreased our population steadily. Is it enough? No one else seems to be very passionate about all this.

This is a very challenging game I'm involved in.

Being alone. Without assistence. Easter is tomorrow I'm told. I read something about transgender visibility day. People are weird like that. D3 was mentioning giving day. I had never heard of it. It doesn't sound like a 707 kind of law. Do I go to church? Of course I'm not going to do that. Will I go downtown on my bike? I'm pretty exhausted. Will I stay home and make more mailings? That is more my speed right now. Will people answer my ads and lend a hand? Unknown. Hopefully. I would like to be supported. I don't know how much assistance I need. My job is mostly a solo job. Support would be great though. This is a tough job to do.

What does support look like? Well, I've seen more support in the last year than I have for my whole lifetime. Or at least for the last 35 years. I think it's simply people coming up to me and saying "We get it." Am I just going to sit in my house until election day and then read the oregon sos election results in the morning? We've got some big things on my calendar. Having a group of people here doing campaigning things with me leading the effort sounds like support. Maybe I would get less writing done, but I've pretty much covered a lot on that front the last couple days. I dispelled the idea of wind turbines. Turbine is a weird word for that device. Did it take a long time to develop better carbon fiber materials? To hone the design? Possibly. Do they work? Most likely. Are they efficent? Not likely. Will we need and/or want them in the future? Most likely. Will we live in cities, suburbs or rural areas in the future? It's an interesting question that I like thinking about slowly. For my generation, it doesn't seem like it matters much. It will be interesting to see what the younger people do. Of course we help them out with all that. I don't have all the answers though. We're human and build things. Maybe we should take a break from most of that though. I know I need a break, or some kind of reward here. D3 and I sharing the house together for a while would be nice. Being with other people would be great. Going out into the city and physically asking people, flirting with people... Well, I just don't know what to do out there. I did a 7 hour day trying to distribute flyers around the city. It was exhausting but a good experience. If I can get some rest, I may be interested in doing more. I'm exhausted. It's 8:02pm. This happens to me quite regularly between the 6pm and 8pm time.

I beleive that people are listening and getting to know me. Probably way more than I can even realize. Or I'm just doing a warm-up for that show. This doesn't seem like training to sweat copper pipes for a career. This is an odd job I'm doing and it causes my personal life to be messed up and for people to spit on me when I nevously ask them to dinner. The way people have treated me makes it hard for me to get along normally out there in the world. I do reject a lot of the culture out there. I don't get that bar scene at all. I don't understand sports bars other than the food can be somewhat soothing. I don't understand the TVs and what they play on them. I don't understand the advertisements hanging on the wall. I don't understand people looking at the screens on their phones. Fried fish can be very tasty. Fries can be nice once in a while. I like onion rings a lot. I have them 4 or 5 times a year. I like cooking sausages on the grill a few times in the spring. I get super focused on food and acid jazz.

I don't understand this Jamey Abersold Music Minus One Play Along jazz standard culture. When I got out of the Navy, it seems like my musician friends from high school looked down upon me for selling out and didn't like the jazz recordings I came back with from the Navy. Sam made some videos of him playing to Abersold records and then posted them on YouTube. I posted my thing with that old jazz loop in the background last night. I'm not the only musician that uses a sample once in a while in her music. About 1% of my music has something like that in it. It's hard to be a one person show and play all these instruments. It's difficult to keep the energy going and press the record button when you are switching instruments like that. I play decent drums. I'd love it if Sam and Eric came over and we had a real acid jazz jam session. I don't have to explain to them what that is. And yet I don't hear them doing that. I don't understand why. It's not about the electronics.

I have a love/hate relationship with jazz standards. I've been playing Some Day My Prince Will Come lately. I put on an excellent performance of that for Nora and Collie. Sometimes the mood is right like that.

I guess I'm complaining. I'm terrorized by this Easter church culture again tonight. It's like the same thing going on with my friends music. Why do they participate in this stuff? I don't want to. I like what I do. I have a hard time believing they like that whoopie party humble show they are doing for me. I've been tortured by the cultural thing since the Navy. I was the oddball there, so I was all alone in that sense. I got out of the Navy and even my friends here were rejecting my culture. So I retreated more into what I do. I have not been able to find a compatible culture for me anywhere in this city. Is the city the problem? No, it's that this is training for this job I do. This high level political job.

They have conditioned me to be in this postion tonight. There is no solution out there in the world for me this weekend. I can't say for certain if I will go out in the world tomorrow, but I'd say it is unlikely to happen. I'm so sick of the humble show that I'm completely isolated. Talking with you on this website. Pretend I'm on Mars sending these emails to you. Call me 4 or one of my other names. I do not understand the group cultures I see out in the city. I have hopes that there are some people who understand my frustration with it. I have hopes that I'm bringing other people online with my culture and these ideas. I have hopes that my culture will be accepted and people will one day find me through my postings and websites and join me. If my culture does not exist out there, then I'll create it here. I'm hell no putting on a ducks cap and sweat pants with those stretchy things on them. Sam is right that the elastic cuffs on my parka are nice because they keep you warm. The have the nice sleeve that goes over them. It looks good and I feel there is something slightly functional about it.

Perhaps they are playing amazing music at all these churches. I wouldn't be completely surprised by that. Am I missing an opportunity? That this will be the one time that they will say OK, the game is up, we were fooling all the time. I can't tell you how many times I have chased that ghost. It's another hope and another failure. That is the logic that goes through my head when I get to the depressive cycle of lossing too much sleep. They often lock me up for a month when I play that game. So they have conditioned me to not play that game anymore. And honestly, it's working. I am now able to work much longer and with more intensity and not crash. I don't even need medication anymore to help that situation. Not that the medication had anything to do with it at all. Doctors and people are weird. They can tell you anything. They are into fiction and jokes. I'm not like that and never will be.

Well, fiction is one thing. I'm not drag. I'm very serious about all this stuff. It seem that we've had this precidence for the president looking like a clown. Trump sure is weird looking. I've definitely been triggered into Trump like silliness in the last 8 months. It's fucking annoying shit! I have no idea what Trump is telling you. I saw a video under my video today of Biden bending down and they had his pants splitting in the back with a white diaper coming out. Bathroom humor stuff. I do have a little bit of bathroom humor in me. I don't like the idea of people making fun of me like that. I don't understand why you enjoy stuff like that. There is a silly side to me, but it is mostly serious silly.

It goes back to my Ridiculous book. The idea that a mass group of you have been let in on the game. The game about my life and our technology and where it is all going. And that perhaps I'm bringing some new generation online with it. If all that is the case then wow, you put a tremendous amout of work into manipulating my environment. And I see evidence of that all around me. It's like this whole community design in this city was made as a show for me to walk through to teach me some lessons. Why is it like this? Why is my life like this? Does every president have this happen to them.

And it brings up the lyric "this was something more." And that is what my writing is all about. This is something more, isn't it? This is a turning point in history, isn't it? It's like I could be the keystone in the roof of humanity. I've been dealing with the fear of that reality for over 20 years. I'm good at dealing with that fear. I'm just one person and the grocery store has shelves of meat on it. I'm just one person. You've got me anyway. All of us are just individuals. Society, the planet itself has us. There is nothing we can do about it. We are not free on that level.

If I go to a church tomorrow, what will I find? The humble show like it has always been? Will they be playing my latest track and wearing hippie office clothing? Will they have a curry buffet? Do we all have to eat pasta for every meal now? Is that the only way we can survive? I should probably pick up another case of that cleansing soda, right? Should I get a bag of coffee tonight? I've got a terrible taste in my mouth. Most likely from the toilet job last night. Was it just a joke? I can accept that. You can make fun of me. I can't do anything about that anyway. All I can do is not seek you out and keep my faith that someone will relate to me in the future.

What Rand's delimma is, her personal delimma that is, is that in order for this game to end, people must surrender to me. I really should just do me like D2 suggested. If I stop chasing that, people likely will come to me naturally. It's not like I'm not fun and cool! I suppose I still reserve the right to reject indivuals coming into my life and home. Most of you fucking humans are wonderful though. I just ask that you leave that humble shit at the door. I don't want that in my house. I've got New Rochelle on now. A solid memory of being high on acid between my tours in the Navy. In the first house I owned with first wife Ann. She was at work in the Navy. It as an early spring day. Perhaps it was 28 years ago today. I was transcribing this song with the CD player high up in the entertainment center. I don't remember what speakers we were using. I had it setup so that it was to my right. The player had dedicated rewind and fast forward buttons on it. I had my trombone on the stand to the left of me and I had a music stand in front of me with my clipboard and manuscript paper. What do you know, I left MusicBee on the one song loop from the Love Bites that I was looping yesterday. I made the decision when I started playing this to not turn the one song loop on, but in my heart I wanted it to be like that. The other songs on Blue Hats are good too. I like to play the whole thing. I'm looking at the album cover in music bee now. I had some new idea the other day about the words on the cover. Yellow Jackets Blue Hats. Blue Jackets. Navy thing, right? The ship bee thing.

I was high as shit and having a blast playing trombone to that EWI solo. That is my definition of good acid jazz music. It's a little more contemporary or adult than The Elements and What it is, but it I don't downgrade it like that. I had a blast with it. Good melodies. Then the 5 15" concrete pipes get delivered. Ann got a permit to fill in the ditch out front. The city didn't seem to thrilled about it, but they passed it. The driver said "where do you want it?" I didn't have a clue. Do your thing dude. It was raining. It was very weird having him come up to the door and for that whole thing to be happening in that moment. Ann and I used one of those hand winches and a chain to move them slightly into their final position. It worked, but I'm still 50/50 on whether it was a good thing to do. Probably not worth the effort. It's reminding me that I have to bail out the pond to keep the mosquito population down this summer. I really need to get to that, but it's 9:05pm and how long have I been up? I did not get a nap today. I've been working hard my whole life, but things have gotten pretty crazy the last 8 months.

It was a major turn of events for me when I went to the mental hospital last Auguest. Eric took me there. I had told him a big piece of the truth about my life and he was worried about me. Like I'm insane or something for talking with him about having run for US Representative twice. I mean, it's not even up for debate, it happened. Like I'm insane for thinking I can be a politcian without being a lawyer. There is nothing in the constituation about having to be a lawyer. I get frustrated with my close friends treating me this way. Part of the training I know, but it makes it hard to have friends.

It was a process of coming out over and over again in the last couple years. Gender, career, politics, life story. Even getting Sam up to speed with it all is challenging and no one knows me better than him. Getting D3 up to speed with me. She's been a trooper taking it all in and being there for me. She is the person I'm closest to in this world and we havent' even met. I wouldn't be functioning on this level without her love.

So I have my intake interview in the hospital and I tell him the truth. I told him the truth for a whole hour. Running for president. The whole thing or as much as I could get out in an hour. I was wearing a skirt probably. I had my name changed 6 months before that so I didn't have name problems to deal with. He listened and was very kind to me. I proceeded to talk with other doctors about it. It took an hour or two each time. They all listened and were very kind. I don't think they were humbling me. I got the feeling that the understood what I was telling them was the truth and that it made sense. That it was logical and not crazy talk. It was another coming out moment being able to share such radical ideas and be accpeted in a mental hospital and not put into a straight jacket.

They put me in a room directly across from the collesium. Part of the stress of that event was that I had declared I was running for president and was anticipating and practicing for the possibilty of playing the song that Sting wrote for me. And the other more complicated song that it is based off of. It's a difficult part to play and I've been practicing it diligently for over a quarter century. It's easy to screw up though and I have never played for crowd that big with people I do not know personally. It was a possibility though and I wanted to be preparred the same way I prepared for the concert 4 years before that. He didn't have me up to play either time. They are stressful events for me. The pressure cooker of it all.

I was talking with other people in there about my politics and campaign. I got the feeling that everyone was much impressed with how knowledgable I am on a wide range of subjects. It made me feel good. I don't know that I've ever been so accepted on a level like that. They let me go after a week or so. A day or two after I got out was the day I wrote that first Platform Q&A section. It was an inspired work. Not long after that, I stumbled upon www.populationbalance.org. It was amazing to see other people on the internet who were so closely in line with my platform. I sent their CEO/Founder an email, but I didn't get a response from her. At least that is what I remember. They are cool though. I haven't watched the videos because videos can be pretty tiggering for me.

So after that experience, I was well on my way to being fully confident at last. Confidence is helping me. I've done my homework. I know what I'm talking about. I'm humble enough to question everything still. You've got to have a good game going to be working on this level. Now that all that is behind me, I'm able to work longer hours without having fear of having another breakdown. I even got off of all medications and tested the theory. I started taking HRT again because I love this transgender experience. I identify with M2F. It's a linear one way thing. There might be a serious medical downside to it. I'll let you know how it goes. It's something to be fearful of. I wish the doctors would give me more information so I can make a more informed decision on what the options are. Perhaps that is part of the politcal game? They do their thing, but I don't entirely trust them. Not like I trust mathematics that I can prove. There is that God and it is very real. It's ouside of our 4 dimensions I believe. Those rules don't change and can be trusted absoltely. I'm getting tired now an yawning, so it is a cue to move on to the kitchen and then the bedroom hopefully. I wonder if I will be getting up at 2am or 4am? It's 9:36pm now on the computer clock.

2024-03-31 3:53am EXE continued...

I went to bed at about 11pm and woke up around 3am. I stayed in bed for another 30 minutes scratching my legs. Why was I scratching? What is the problem? Can I come up with a theory? What is causing it? Oh, I'm wearing my gray straight leg sweat pants. That has aggrivated the problem before. Don't do dat.

Got up at around 3:45am. Went to the bathroom to give a piss. Nice that the toilet is functional again. Bathroom smell was not noticable. Still need to wipe down with bleach. Do I have gloves? Do I have bleach?

Went to the bathroom in the living room. Grabbed the Eucerin off the top shelf. Sam turned me on to it a couple years ago. It's helping with my leg itching problem. Is it the furnace? The dry air. I can scratch my legs and have little scratchmarks all over my legs. Eucerin with the Glycerin is helping. I had fabulous looking legs in my miniskirts last summer. Put on my flowy Indian patterned skirt and sat down at the computer. Time to take HRT. Should I take another cough drop to fight the bad taste in my mouth? What would a doctor say about my situation?

The Sharp clock says 4:00am. Happy Easter! Now 4:01

Back to New Rochelle. The wonderful bass intro. Clicked the back button because the track was a few seconds into it. Wanted to hear it from the begining. Savanna started playing. Sounded lovely but then double clicked on New Rochelle. It started playing and I was too busy writing to hear the bass solo. Bob is playing the melody. Sounds lovely.

Vics new Sweat video is fun. Listened to it once. Put on Hormones in the Headphones yesterday. It's the silly Vic sound. Turned it off after 30 seconds and pulled up something more my style. It was Timeline. I think I added Emerge and Divert to the playlist in my new looper code. I just got up to look at that computer in the corner. Sure enough, that is the playlist still on that tab in FireFox. But my legacy site was the active tab. I had been playing rainInDaStudio again.

The first recording I made of water was using my Sharp MD recorder. The one with the dial and strap. It was a wonderful machine. I had left Ann and the Navy. I had my GEO full of stuff including my congas. You could see the congas out the window. So Ricky Ricardo. I was sleeping in the driver's seat because the rest of the car was full. I'm sure I got a hotel room or two on the trip, but I don't remember that. I had paid to have a spot at a campsite by a river in norther Idaho. It was serene there and there were two beautiful young ladies camping there as well. I was shy and they were all giggly as they passed me. I went down to the river with the MD player strapped to my belt loop. I always wear wide belt with my pants. Always. Otherwise they fall down. I wear a 29" or sometimes a 30" waist pants. I'm wearing a 30" to 31" waist these days. Size 6 dresses. The Urban CoCo office midi skirt that I bought was a Medium and I was pulling the skirt up all the time. I loved the skirt, but it was too small. Considered altering it. Didn't think I had the skills to do a good job so I ordered a small off of Amazon. It was $20. Fits great! Problem solved. I stuttered for a week and then bought another. Piss stains on them are not as noticable as some other fabrics. Pleased with that. I know it wouldn't help the matter, but altering my urinary system sounds like fun. Talk about trying something new! Is it really a thing. I slept with M2 and we were both signed up for surgeries. I wonder what she is up to?

Now the piano solo. I love that thing. Now the 9. What is the bass player's name? I've been trying to remember for a day. He's awesome and has a hippie vibe about him. I've been to his website. Cool stuff. He left the group about 5 years ago or so. Sounded like the road was getting to him. I missed my chance to see them in Vancouver a few years ago. I had the Fiat EV and could have made it. I chickened out. But the truth is that I'm just not so into live shows. I do like outdoor music. The sound is usually wonderful when you are in the parking lot.

Ewi and sax together is a nice sound. Love that lick after that section. 9, 1 6. Bob has made a style out of that kind of thing. It's kind of flat footed and square, but then again, what else are you going to do? You've got to play something and it gets old just playing a blues lick. Gotta make some kind of style. I appreciate what he has done. I'm way into it actually. I want to transcribe more. I put this recording on a few weeks ago and played trombone to it. I remember it pretty well, but I do make mistakes. I think that I was in my phase of just memorizing the solos and not writing them down when I was transcribing this in 1996. I was working on my memory. I've been trying for years to make time to write these solos down so I can add them to my book. I almost have Laura finished. I almost have my Straight Life / Rhythming solo transcribed. Both are sitting in a pile on the floor under my clipboard with a manilla folder of manuscript paper. I used Flash to draw a staff and then took a screenshot of that and duplicated it in photoshop to make my manuscript. Did that decades ago and made a PDF file of it. I print more when I need some. I'll always need a little bit of paper.

My RM and RMT music chords are written out on plain printer paper. I fold the paper in half on the long end and write the changes there. I like the size of that. It's fun. My trombone solo on Rand's Thing is interesting. I was playing on those new changes that I composed. It's different than anything I've done before. I got aggrivated at the recording and took it off of my website a few months ago. It's growing on me again and I brought it back. I like the keyboard solo. I like the mix of piano and EP keyboard. It would be annoying to play just the keyboard and not have access to a piano. That is one of the downsides of being on the road. Trying to locate a piano and getting my recording gear to it. Can I do that without a roadie? Yes, but I tell you what, my age is advancing and well, I'm workign 20 hour days and it's 4:29am. Most everyone around here is probably sleeping and has money in their bank account. It can be exhausting work like that.

I've been putting words in quotes lately. I like it. "work" gets that treatment a lot. Is it work if you would do it for free? Is it work if you don't involve other people? Isn't work anything you do? I've been calling jobs tasks. Most people think of work as the job you have. I don't think of it that way. I think of the thing you do for money as a job and what you do their is work. I work at taking a shit. I work on cleaning the dishes. I work on getting better trills. I work on trying to get my trills back. It'll likely never happen. At least I got one good recording of it. It was a big section of my warmup. I put an insane amount of practice into that just to get a one second record that is basically an FX moment. FX can be cool. I'm way into sound. It doesn't have to just be melody and harmony. Sam and I work on our sound. Sam practices different than I do. I'm very mechanical and rigid and he is very abstract about it all. He's got an interesting piano style and it can be really jarring sometimes. I'm smoother and use these big rich chords. I like a rich sound. Should I humble myself and play something I don't like? For money? For some other purpose than making something fun? Situational music. Cocktail music. I got the thing from the people all the time in the Navy when playing a "combo" gig at a recpetion. We are background music. I don't quite get it. I can relate on the volume end. I don't want to drown them out. But I don't want to alter my music to please them. How can I possibly know what they want anyway? I can only know what I want. I can guess what they want. It's like buying someone a present. Doug Gastic bought me a nice ceramic baking dish for me wedding. I still have it and it's probably the best gift from some event like that that I have received. How did he know I would want that? Did he study me? I don't know, but that one worked. Most do not and wind up being a total waste. I complete total waste. I hate gifts like that.

Gifts and holidays. The yearly cycle. I don't mind the cycle so much. Cycles are cool. Loops and repetition. Slight alterations on the next pass. Clock went from 4:40 to 4:41. Getting to know me here, right? Windows clock still says 4:40 AM. Last day of March.

Time for meds. My doctor was hinting that I should stop these meds. I think I'll pull up her notes in a minute here. I want to read it again.

Got toast and ginger tea. I've been putting brown sugar in it instead of agava syrup. I love the agava syrup. Brown sugar is pretty good too. I want to try molasses soon. Did an internet search for how molassas is spelled. Made a correction. MyChart works well. She says "There is no rish you you achieving orgasm and ther is no risk to yuo discontinuing the hormone therapy." Then she goes on to talk about how some things would reverse. I'm not one of these people who feels a mistake was made when I was born. I've had feeling about wanting a femine body my whole life. I want to look good in a femine way. I really always have but I haven't been so conscious of it until recently. In fact I would try to hide that part of me a little bit. I tend to live out loud and do my thing, but people have treated me a little odd my whole life.

One thing I've learned from doing recovery and support groups the last few years is that our transgender community is diverse. Eating rye toast that I make in the bread machine. I like cutting it on the diagonal. I cut my sandwiches that way too. I always cut pub burgers in half as well. I ask for my bagels to be cut in half. Everyone has their own idea of what they want to be when transitioning. I like small athletic breasts and that is what I have. I communicated that to my doctor. They could be a little bigger, but I like what I have. Being free of orgasm maintenance has been fabulous. Is that really bad for my urinary system? Maybe. I can't seem to get a straight answer about these things. Searches on the internet are not helping. I guess I'm experimenting with it and will see what happens.

I got mixed up with these doctors when I got off of the streets. The anal itching was so bad on the streets in June of 2004 that I could barely walk. I remember eating some muffins that were left on the road. I limped into a clinic. They didn't want to see me. I eventually left. I limped to West Seattle and Marc gave me a ride to my bother's place in olympia. I think we travled in his green Toyata basic truck. My brother put me in his car and took me down to Portland to live with Sam. I was rolling around in agony in the back seat of my brother's car. When we got to Vancouver, Sam wasn't home but the agony had subsided a bit. My brother left me there and then I was homeless in Portland. All that is in in || on.

in is about getting elected and on is about being on Mars. I really didn't even make the whole 4 connection until years later. I created the in || on graphic after I coded my laser grid program in 2003, before I wound up on the streets. Well, maybe even a year before I would up on the streets. Was Tubespace a 2004 thing? It's all getting a little fuzzy. My neighborhood seems odd but normal enough. Older people here. Not many children. At least not on the streets. I suspect that there is some high tech security going on here. Secret service stuff. They may have been with me for a long time. I don't have any direct evidence, well, at least none that would be convicing to tell someone. I had this experience with 4 high tech police SUVs at 4am in my neighborhood a month ago or so. Yeah, they are watching out for me. Blue Jackets.

5am now. I stayed with Sam for 1.5 months. He was drinking a lot of beer and trying to hide it. He was buying me ding dongs. I probably weighed 125lbs. Maybe 120. It was hard to get my belt to work properly. I was 35yo and doing wonderful work. I guess I'll stop that part of the story here. I'm writing a short book here. I could go on and on but this stuff is in in||on. 2:1. Cous Cous is 1:1. Oats are 2:1. The short of it is that they put me on medication. The meds made it very difficult to get my math work done. I fought hard to keep my math and programming going through that stuff. I would get off of the medications so I could work better and then I would get too excited from working too much without pay and then I would crash, wind up back in the hospital and being forced to take medication with the magnetic doors enforcing it. No sex, no money, nothing but hard work and the work was good.

Ena was fun and we had sex. She was very sexual, but I got turned off from her style pretty quickly. Sex was better with Patty, but she was sick and I didn't want to put her through regular sex. She may not have wanted it either. Daily masterbation. Decades of it. Sometimes twice. Cynthia was the best adult sex I had by far. She was wonderful to me. I'm shy and initiating sex is very hard for me. I want it badly, but I'm non-assertive. And I like women to be more passive than me. At least that is the way I used to operate.

Patty had a coming out event for me where we went and bought some lingerie for me. I was embarrased and didn't really enjoy the event. When Cynthia died, I went all in on the trans thing. I had the house to myself and started dressing femine when I was not at work. And pretty quickly I was wearing my little black dress under my pants at work. I got into that sneaking around phase. It eventually got hard and coming out was the only option. I wrote everyone at work a letter. After about 24 hours, everyone was calling my Rachel and that was that. I thought I would wait a year to officially change my name, but two months later I started the process.

Does India have Budda and we have Jesus? Is that what the deal is. That's what we have in this country? It's like my whole life has been planned. It's the only logical conclusion I can come up with. This big plan to get us all to have less children. This big ass important job. Am I screwing it up? I'm nervous about doing a bad job, but I think they have my back. Am I supposed to make this transgender thing fun? Am I ruining the party vibe with these words? Is that what I'm supposed to do? Is it all my choice now? Is it all on me?

I just know that what I see on the roads does not make sense. Many of the jobs we do don't make sense. People joking around while they are driving huge vehicles on their way to pick up a steak and a gallon of milk. And here I am on my potato and rice diet having these huge shits that are clogging the toilet. It's never happened to me before. I feel like I'm just being forced into a bad habit to teach a lesson. Should I be assembling campaign letters here at 5:31am, now 5:32am? Perhaps I should relax and lay down again?

World population. I'm looking at this graph at the moment: https://assets.ourworldindata.org/uploads/2013/05/updated-World-Population-Growth-1750-2100.png

I'm suggesting we rapidly get our poplation to the level we had in 1900/1920. About 2 billion people. Look at that jump from 4.4B to 7.4B from 1980 to 2015. Sure, in the US, we are having less children. I was reading the other day that our birthrate is actually below replacement level. So it's not our problem, is it? I don't like that us/them logic. I think Generation Z should aim for having 1/4 to 1/8 of the replacement rate. I'll run some math on that here. I'll see if Excel can help...

Let's take some hypothetical givens. First, let's say there is just one country in the world and that country has 8B people in it as of 2025. Let's say that the average lifespan is 80 years and population age groups is evenly dispersed at the 2025 start date. Let's then say that Gen Z is a 20 year generation and the next Generation A's are also a 20 year cohort.

OK, I'm just going to write a C# console app to do this math...

Here is the code I wrote: rachel_lydia_rand_population_reduction_projector.txt

And here are the interesting results:

Hello, World!
currentPopulation = 8,000,000,000
newReplacementRate = 0.25

This is taking into account that births all happen at age 30 and we go back to normal replacement rate after 40 years of the 1/4 replacement rate level.

Year = 2025 | totalPopulation = 7,925,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2026 | totalPopulation = 7,850,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2027 | totalPopulation = 7,775,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2028 | totalPopulation = 7,700,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2029 | totalPopulation = 7,625,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2030 | totalPopulation = 7,550,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2031 | totalPopulation = 7,475,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2032 | totalPopulation = 7,400,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2033 | totalPopulation = 7,325,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2034 | totalPopulation = 7,250,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2035 | totalPopulation = 7,175,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2036 | totalPopulation = 7,100,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2037 | totalPopulation = 7,025,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2038 | totalPopulation = 6,950,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2039 | totalPopulation = 6,875,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2040 | totalPopulation = 6,800,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2041 | totalPopulation = 6,725,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2042 | totalPopulation = 6,650,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2043 | totalPopulation = 6,575,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2044 | totalPopulation = 6,500,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2045 | totalPopulation = 6,425,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2046 | totalPopulation = 6,350,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2047 | totalPopulation = 6,275,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2048 | totalPopulation = 6,200,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2049 | totalPopulation = 6,125,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2050 | totalPopulation = 6,050,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2051 | totalPopulation = 5,975,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2052 | totalPopulation = 5,900,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2053 | totalPopulation = 5,825,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2054 | totalPopulation = 5,750,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2055 | totalPopulation = 5,656,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2056 | totalPopulation = 5,562,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2057 | totalPopulation = 5,468,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2058 | totalPopulation = 5,375,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2059 | totalPopulation = 5,281,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2060 | totalPopulation = 5,187,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2061 | totalPopulation = 5,093,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2062 | totalPopulation = 5,000,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2063 | totalPopulation = 4,906,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2064 | totalPopulation = 4,812,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2065 | totalPopulation = 4,737,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2066 | totalPopulation = 4,662,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2067 | totalPopulation = 4,587,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2068 | totalPopulation = 4,512,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2069 | totalPopulation = 4,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2070 | totalPopulation = 4,362,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2071 | totalPopulation = 4,287,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2072 | totalPopulation = 4,212,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2073 | totalPopulation = 4,137,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2074 | totalPopulation = 4,062,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2075 | totalPopulation = 3,987,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2076 | totalPopulation = 3,912,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2077 | totalPopulation = 3,837,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2078 | totalPopulation = 3,762,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2079 | totalPopulation = 3,687,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2080 | totalPopulation = 3,612,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2081 | totalPopulation = 3,537,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2082 | totalPopulation = 3,462,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2083 | totalPopulation = 3,387,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2084 | totalPopulation = 3,312,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2085 | totalPopulation = 3,218,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2086 | totalPopulation = 3,125,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2087 | totalPopulation = 3,031,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2088 | totalPopulation = 2,937,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2089 | totalPopulation = 2,843,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2090 | totalPopulation = 2,750,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2091 | totalPopulation = 2,656,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2092 | totalPopulation = 2,562,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2093 | totalPopulation = 2,468,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2094 | totalPopulation = 2,375,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2095 | totalPopulation = 2,300,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2096 | totalPopulation = 2,225,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2097 | totalPopulation = 2,150,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2098 | totalPopulation = 2,075,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2099 | totalPopulation = 2,000,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2100 | totalPopulation = 1,925,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2101 | totalPopulation = 1,850,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2102 | totalPopulation = 1,775,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2103 | totalPopulation = 1,700,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2104 | totalPopulation = 1,625,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 100,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2105 | totalPopulation = 1,625,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2106 | totalPopulation = 1,625,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2107 | totalPopulation = 1,625,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2108 | totalPopulation = 1,625,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2109 | totalPopulation = 1,625,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2110 | totalPopulation = 1,625,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2111 | totalPopulation = 1,625,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2112 | totalPopulation = 1,625,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2113 | totalPopulation = 1,625,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2114 | totalPopulation = 1,625,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2115 | totalPopulation = 1,606,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2116 | totalPopulation = 1,587,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2117 | totalPopulation = 1,568,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2118 | totalPopulation = 1,550,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2119 | totalPopulation = 1,531,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2120 | totalPopulation = 1,512,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2121 | totalPopulation = 1,493,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2122 | totalPopulation = 1,475,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2123 | totalPopulation = 1,456,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2124 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2125 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2126 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2127 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2128 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2129 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2130 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2131 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2132 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2133 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2134 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2135 | totalPopulation = 1,456,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2136 | totalPopulation = 1,475,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2137 | totalPopulation = 1,493,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2138 | totalPopulation = 1,512,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2139 | totalPopulation = 1,531,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2140 | totalPopulation = 1,550,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2141 | totalPopulation = 1,568,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2142 | totalPopulation = 1,587,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2143 | totalPopulation = 1,606,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2144 | totalPopulation = 1,625,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2145 | totalPopulation = 1,606,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2146 | totalPopulation = 1,587,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2147 | totalPopulation = 1,568,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2148 | totalPopulation = 1,550,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2149 | totalPopulation = 1,531,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2150 | totalPopulation = 1,512,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2151 | totalPopulation = 1,493,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2152 | totalPopulation = 1,475,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2153 | totalPopulation = 1,456,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2154 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2155 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2156 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2157 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2158 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2159 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2160 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2161 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2162 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2163 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2164 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2165 | totalPopulation = 1,456,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2166 | totalPopulation = 1,475,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2167 | totalPopulation = 1,493,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2168 | totalPopulation = 1,512,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2169 | totalPopulation = 1,531,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2170 | totalPopulation = 1,550,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2171 | totalPopulation = 1,568,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2172 | totalPopulation = 1,587,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2173 | totalPopulation = 1,606,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2174 | totalPopulation = 1,625,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2175 | totalPopulation = 1,606,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2176 | totalPopulation = 1,587,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2177 | totalPopulation = 1,568,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2178 | totalPopulation = 1,550,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2179 | totalPopulation = 1,531,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2180 | totalPopulation = 1,512,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2181 | totalPopulation = 1,493,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2182 | totalPopulation = 1,475,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2183 | totalPopulation = 1,456,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2184 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2185 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2186 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2187 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2188 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2189 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2190 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2191 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2192 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2193 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2194 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2195 | totalPopulation = 1,456,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2196 | totalPopulation = 1,475,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2197 | totalPopulation = 1,493,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2198 | totalPopulation = 1,512,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2199 | totalPopulation = 1,531,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2200 | totalPopulation = 1,550,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2201 | totalPopulation = 1,568,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2202 | totalPopulation = 1,587,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2203 | totalPopulation = 1,606,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2204 | totalPopulation = 1,625,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2205 | totalPopulation = 1,606,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2206 | totalPopulation = 1,587,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2207 | totalPopulation = 1,568,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2208 | totalPopulation = 1,550,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2209 | totalPopulation = 1,531,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2210 | totalPopulation = 1,512,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2211 | totalPopulation = 1,493,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2212 | totalPopulation = 1,475,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2213 | totalPopulation = 1,456,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2214 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2215 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2216 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2217 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2218 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2219 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2220 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2221 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2222 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2223 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2224 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2225 | totalPopulation = 1,456,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2226 | totalPopulation = 1,475,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2227 | totalPopulation = 1,493,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2228 | totalPopulation = 1,512,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2229 | totalPopulation = 1,531,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2230 | totalPopulation = 1,550,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2231 | totalPopulation = 1,568,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2232 | totalPopulation = 1,587,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2233 | totalPopulation = 1,606,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2234 | totalPopulation = 1,625,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2235 | totalPopulation = 1,606,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2236 | totalPopulation = 1,587,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2237 | totalPopulation = 1,568,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2238 | totalPopulation = 1,550,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2239 | totalPopulation = 1,531,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2240 | totalPopulation = 1,512,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2241 | totalPopulation = 1,493,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2242 | totalPopulation = 1,475,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2243 | totalPopulation = 1,456,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2244 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2245 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2246 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2247 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2248 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2249 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2250 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2251 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2252 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2253 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2254 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2255 | totalPopulation = 1,456,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2256 | totalPopulation = 1,475,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2257 | totalPopulation = 1,493,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2258 | totalPopulation = 1,512,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2259 | totalPopulation = 1,531,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2260 | totalPopulation = 1,550,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2261 | totalPopulation = 1,568,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2262 | totalPopulation = 1,587,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2263 | totalPopulation = 1,606,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2264 | totalPopulation = 1,625,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2265 | totalPopulation = 1,606,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2266 | totalPopulation = 1,587,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2267 | totalPopulation = 1,568,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2268 | totalPopulation = 1,550,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2269 | totalPopulation = 1,531,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2270 | totalPopulation = 1,512,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2271 | totalPopulation = 1,493,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2272 | totalPopulation = 1,475,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2273 | totalPopulation = 1,456,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2274 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2275 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2276 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2277 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2278 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2279 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2280 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2281 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2282 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2283 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2284 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2285 | totalPopulation = 1,456,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2286 | totalPopulation = 1,475,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2287 | totalPopulation = 1,493,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2288 | totalPopulation = 1,512,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2289 | totalPopulation = 1,531,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2290 | totalPopulation = 1,550,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2291 | totalPopulation = 1,568,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2292 | totalPopulation = 1,587,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2293 | totalPopulation = 1,606,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2294 | totalPopulation = 1,625,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2295 | totalPopulation = 1,606,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2296 | totalPopulation = 1,587,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2297 | totalPopulation = 1,568,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2298 | totalPopulation = 1,550,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2299 | totalPopulation = 1,531,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2300 | totalPopulation = 1,512,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2301 | totalPopulation = 1,493,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2302 | totalPopulation = 1,475,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2303 | totalPopulation = 1,456,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2304 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 6,250,000
Year = 2305 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2306 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2307 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2308 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2309 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2310 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2311 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2312 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2313 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2314 | totalPopulation = 1,437,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 25,000,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2315 | totalPopulation = 1,456,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2316 | totalPopulation = 1,475,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2317 | totalPopulation = 1,493,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2318 | totalPopulation = 1,512,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2319 | totalPopulation = 1,531,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2320 | totalPopulation = 1,550,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2321 | totalPopulation = 1,568,750,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2322 | totalPopulation = 1,587,500,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2323 | totalPopulation = 1,606,250,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000
Year = 2324 | totalPopulation = 1,625,000,000 | decreaseAmount = 6,250,000 | increaseAmount = 25,000,000

---

Conclusions:

It seems that getting to 2B people in 2099 is what I'm proposing. It's a nice clean number, but with the UN report of top soil depletion in 60 years, even this 1/4 rate may not be enough. 60 years from now will be 2085 and this projection says world population will be at 3.218B that year. That's certainly better than having 10B though! Well, this is a pretty good projection. This is exactly what I'm proposing. I think 1/4 the normal births sustained for 40 years is the ticket. 1/8 the normal birthrate may be too extreme. Or perhaps 1/8 for 20 years instead of 1/4 for 40 years would be the better deal?

I played around with some other parameters and found that my first projection is the sweet spot. 1/4 of replacement rate for 40 years gets us to 2B by 2099. Going to 1/8 only saved about 8 more years.

I feel that the most important part of making a curry is getting the water level correct when you add it and not to add any more later. You need enough to cook the vegetables and with most curries you want a sauce. If you add water later, the sauce tastes like water.

I believe we are one world about to be united, not a world at war. This technology brought us all together. I think moving around is fine as long as we do it slowly. It's a scary proposition shutting down production and travel like that. Do we have any idea what is going to happen? I have some wild theories. I really don't know. We did this briefly in 2020, right? Perhaps there have been other tests around the world.

Do we have an energy source that can be used to create so much power that we can do whatever we want indefinitely? I cannot personally prove that. I doubt it though. Are we using nuclear fission? I can't prove that either, but I'd say that is highly likely. In some ways, I'm just one person is this world. Making my way in the galaxy. For all I know, we did get signals from aliens. For all I know, the moon missions were faked. We certainly have the technology to get there. It's probably pretty weird for us humans out there though. I don't know.

I get the feeling that my Autobiography of a Yogi book has been altered. I remember stories of master/student relationships. Of small meditation groups and the mystical things Yogananda learned on his path. I picked up a new copy of my Alan Watts The Way of Zen book and it still resonates with me. I cracked the book open the other day and I was a little disappointed in it. There is a lot of arguments on both sides of a case and not making conclusions. It seems that the one thing that is known is that language is an abstraction of what it represents. It's a tool.

There has been some sadness about not having a family of my own. But then again, it has been fabulous! All the music and adventures I've been on. Your mind probably hot wires to travel when you hear "adventures". For me, it really wasn't about the travel. I've taken 3.5 round trip plane flights in the last 25 years. I'm doing a deep dive into my automotive logs now...

I biked exclusively from 1991 through 1993. I bought a GEO Metro subcompact car in January of 1994 and continued to commute to work 2-3 days a week for the rest of the 1990's. After I got out of the Navy in the summer of 2000, I drove from the east coast to the west coast in the GEO. Then I attempted to take an old van back east to pick up more stuff, but that didn't work. I wound up doing a second trip in the GEO. So that car made 1.5 round trips accross the country. Then I drove it a bunch from Seattle to Portland in 2001 and 2002 because I was living in it and basically living in fear. Then I was in a Dodge Caravan for a little over a year.

In the summer of 2003, I started living on the streets full time, so I didn't drive for the rest of that year. Then I didn't drive in 2004 or 2005. In the fall of 2006, I bought another Dodge Caravan, but I barely used it before it broke down. I bought a Specialized M2 in 2006 and rode that for the rest of the year and through 2007 and 2008. My wife had a car and I would drive it sometimes.

In the summer of 2009, I got divorced and got the car out of the deal. It was a 1999 VW Passat. That is where my log begins.

I sold the Passat on 2017-08-20. I had driven it 62,907 miles in 8 years. Yearly average milage was 7,656. And for 5 years of that, I was with my partner Patty and it was the only car we had. The truth is, we were being pretty wasteful with it. We lived in a 550sqft apartment and a lot of the time, we would just get in the car and go grocery shopping. The shopping was getting a little ridiculous, but I learned a lot in the kitchen from Patty. There are still all kinds of things in the kitchen that I use regularly that came from Patty.

I had the 1978 Dodge Lazy Daze 18' motor home (The Turtle) from March 2013 through March 2018. I drove it 8,817 miles in those 5 years. Yearly average mileage was 1,765. That's a whole story with that vehicle. A lot of adventures in that machine. It made 2.5 round trips from Portland to Santa Barbara. Perhaps the odometer was bad. This mileage sounds a little high.

Then the RAV4 that Cynthia had. I met Cynthia in July 2017. It was mostly her driving it. It was sold on 2019-09-20 (I wrote a song called Emotion when I sold it. It was driven 13,407 miles total during that time for a yearly average of 5,348.

I was without a car for almost a year in 2020. I picked up the Fiat 500e EV on 2020-08-01. I sold it on 2023-12-09. I had driven it 11,353 miles for a yearly average of 3,355.

So, let's do some grand totals of that...

Passat: 62,907
The Turtle: 8,817
Fiat 500e: 11,353
Total: 88,077 miles driven in 14 years for an average of 5,934 miles/year

That's what working at home did for me. I was barely biking at all during that time. I'm a bike commuter, so riding in the city just for fun is a little strange to me. I'd say there is a 50/50 chance that I'll never have a car again. I biked 700 miles in 2020 and 300 miles in 2021. It was all for pleasure. I didn't take any bags with me. It did get me moving on a bike again though. When I've been without a car in the last 5 years, I tend to just walk to the store instead of dealing with the bike. But I've biked about 120 miles in the last few weeks. I biked from Beaverton to Fairview in January and I biked from Beaverton to Oregon City a few weeks ago. Those rides were both about 5 hours of continuous riding. I've only taken about 50 bus rides in my life. I really don't like the bus at all. I just feel so captive there with nothing to do.

Remember the AI car promise that was going around in 2018? It's not happening here yet. Will it ever happen? I had the political idea of turning the grocery store parking lots into AI charging stations. I'm glad that hasn't happened. Now that I'm thinking about it, electric assist 2 and 3 wheel vehicles do make sense because they probably work even when the battery is dead. I personally don't want to get one of them. I just see them as expensive, heavy devices that need wires. About the only thing that will make me get a powered transportation device again is if my transgender journey goes bad and I can't ride anymore. I don't know where it is all going, but even then, I'm likely to just walk to the store. Most days I walk at least 2 miles.

They say that the average American drives 14,000 miles/year. I'm certainly doing less than half of that and I still think my driving has been mostly a waste. Being a bicyclist, I didn't have to do any of it. It did get me places that I wouldn't have gone with just a bike. I tend to stay at home more when I have a bike. All I personally want out of life at my age is to play and record music, post on my website, cook nice healthy meals, go on walks and bike rides and have a small group of friends. I've got a book called Funkifying the Clave that should keep me busy on drums and bass for years.

Society does need something from us. We are born with a debt like that. We have built up so much in this world though. We could easily go for decades without doing much. Then we could regroup and figure out what we really need. I always remember Curtis Sines in the Navy. He is a drummer and would say "slow down" all the time. That phrase comes up all the time with me. I read a phrase in a book a few months ago let the slow times roll. I'm into that. This rat race has been out of control. I don't want the younger generations to have to do that. I'm very passionate about that. I'm here for you Generation Z!

I have a friend; a close musician friend. He complains about the culture in this country. We both appear to be marginalized jazz musicians. He watches the news and tells me what is going on there. Always a negative slant on it all. What he is presenting to me is that he is living on mental disability benefits, he drinks 18 beers a day, he smokes cigarettes all day long. He gets tired walking to the store to get beer. He lost his license because of a DUI and now it's too much of a bother to keep it. So he calls cabs on the phone. For many years, had other people call cabs for him. Yadda yadda.

Do I trust that all that is real? He's an amazing musician. Is that the artistic process? And then there is me on my high horse. Taught myself math on the streets and all that. We bought our houses at the same time. His for 50% less than mine. His house is 2' above sea level. He's worried that his child will see the place go under water. I'm trying to hang onto my house and musical instruments. I'm a one person band. I present to him that I'm transgender. I take some pills that make that my reality and I love it. I'm arguably delusional thinking I'm running for president and addressing the world. Am I harming anybody?

My experience is that everything in my environment, most likely for my whole life, was crafted to teach these lessons. We all have our teachers. Should I change my culture to fit in or should I try to change the culture I'm in? Is it all just fake anyway? Are jazz musicians a dime a dozen? Is there no drug addiction or homelessness anymore? Was it all just fabricated to teach me a lesson? I don't do drugs because creating art is more fun. I believe I'm changing the world here. I really believe that. What I can sense in my environment does not make sense. And not just the easily altered stuff like the story my friend tells me.

I'm actually not a compainer at all. I get up at 4am and am trilled to be a live. Thrilled to get something to drink and get to work. Everyone gets a little crazy when their survival is threatened, even if it is an existential problem. I had $3 to my name a few days ago. And this tension has yet again pushed me forward to come up with the new slogan. When will this be enough to lead this country? This must make sense to people, right? Does my 4 word slogan sum it all up? Yes, it does. But it by itself is just an icon of a movement. You have to read all this other text to get the full message. How many people will read it? I check in on my opponents websites. I see donation things, I see endorsment things. Is that Bernie thinks Susheela is good and I trust Bernie, so they will take care of the world's problems and I can go back to driving to my waitress job at the restaurant around town. They'll have some technological fix that will make my car better. Elon has it figured out. I don't have to be bothered by all of Ms. Rand's text and ranting. It's all just noise. I can get it all in a 130 character text from former president Trump instead of Ms. Rand's 7KB daily posts. I can't be bothered with these political PESTs.

Perhaps my opponents put their large platform on Meta? I tend to concentrate on what I'm doing. I'm just making the point that perhaps you should question this stuff the way I do. Does it make sense? Can we prove the theorem; again?

In 2003,I declared on my website that I wanted to run for president/vice-president/us representative. I knew I had to work my way off the streets by teaching myself computer programming and math and go on to have a successful career coding software.

In 2014, I declared on my website that I was running for president. My software career was going along well and I had my best earnings year coding software for the Fitwall fitness studios. I started going door to door campaigning and ended up having some crazy guy chasing me down the street. I made a 4 hour tutorial video for how to code a 3d environment with trigonometry. I saw some parody of me revolving around those videos on the internet. In the fall of that year, I bought my house.

In 2017, I signed up to be on the ballot for US Representative. I then researched and wrote a paper on energy. I came up with the 4040in2020 website (I've taken it down) and the 4040 plan which called for 40% of people to drive 40% less to make a carbon savings by working from home. I was in the voter's pamplet saying that I would put bills in the hopper to force employers to allow people to work from home if possible. I got 1% of the vote.

In 2019, I signed up to be on the ballot for US Representative again. In October of 2019, I mailed 10,000 flyers with a campaign idea of "Move the Needle on Climate Change". It called for the people of Portland to make a carbon savings on Ground Hog's Day 2020-02-02. Something that could be recorded by the electric and gas companies. Then the pandemic happened and the working from home idea got tested world wide. Emissions dropped significantly for a month or two. I got less than 1% of the vote.

From 2020 through 2022, I had to focus on my software career to recover the losses from the $17,000 of my money that I had spent on the previous two campaigns. I also started my gender transition by doing counseling and started to take HRT in September of 2022.

In 2023, I declared on my website that I was running for president. I still thought that becoming vice-president would be the best position for me, but it seems that vice-presidents are generally chosen from presidential candidates that are runner-ups. I quit my job in August because the mental position of running for president this time was very intense. I learned a lot from stepping into these shoes in this capacity. The work I had started 20 years ago on the street was complete and I was really running this time. I contacted the elections division of the Oregon Secretary of State and they informed me that the SOS makes a judgment call on who will be on the ballot for president based on percieved performance in the national media. I did my best to make a run for it, but was apparently unsuccessful.

In November 2023, I learned that Representative Earl Blumenauer was not running for re-election. So I signed up to be on the ballot for US Representative on November 17th.

In 2024, I've been doing my best to get elected to the House of Representatives. It was always part of my plan. I'd like to be a visible member of congress where I can voice my platform in the national media and hopefully rise to the vice-presidency. My gender transition was not a political ploy. I have had these feelings all my life. I do not wish to be the first transwoman president without having a "cisgender" woman president. Kamala Harris is on this reproductive rights tour and I'm in full support of that. I'm not proposing a law to decrease population. I feel we need to do it and it's up to Generation Z to do the work of making it happen. Unfortunately, other generations were not able to accomplish this, but we have been making some progress at decreasing birth rates. We totally need the medical assitance to make this platform a reality. Abortion rights are the basis of this. What good is it protecting the rights of a child who is not born, who will be born to a parent who does not want them, in a world where population is expected to grow to over 10 billion people? We do not have the resources to care for this many people for their projected 80-90 year life spans at this rate. It's going to take a sustained effort for the rest of my life to get this population under control and I'm here with this solution.

What is my experience? A lot of writing and campaigning efforts. I put myself in these shoes over 20 years ago. I'm serious about all of this. I have yet to receive an "official" donation. Please, please donate to my campaign. If I fail to get elected on May 21st, I will proceed to sell my house so that I can go on tour to run for president in 2028. I'm not sure which way would be more effective, but I would like to see how congress works from the US Representative role and put bills in the hopper. I'm confident that people will listen to me if I am visible. Am I visible? I can't tell. I've made progress. I'm not seeing myself in the news this time. I don't consume much news though. I've done a TV interview. I'm ready to interview more. I talk with people every day. I'm doing my best. As Ellie says in Contact: "I'm not stopping."

I don't agree with the webpage theory that Italics, Bold, Underline and Strikethrough are ornamentation and belong in CSS. I think they are content to be preserved in the HTML.

I was on a US Navy destroyer for 4 months. The room where we were sleeping was awful, but the normal ship crew quarters were pretty nice. We would go in there to take showers. The way I have the UV light at my computer station now reminds me of being on the ship like that. I'm not for war at all. I can't believe that is happening in the world. But there is something magical about ships. I used to think the cars, vans and small RVs I've lived in were space ships. I often think of my house as a settlement on the moon or Mars. Email is my preferred communication. I can think on my feet, but it feels more civil to have the time to write it out. I love keyboards. I don't know where the signal goes after I post it to my server. I'm not in charge of distribution like that. I have no way of monitoring whether millions of people are looking at this sequence of characters. How could I?

I write a lot. I asked one person for a donation today and left a message asking for one from someone else. It's progress. I was pretty much terrorized on the streets begging for money for notebook paper. It's OK though, there are lessons.

This page is interesting: https://trimet.org/bettertransit/greenbusfleet.htm#zero

Trimet is our bus service in Portland. That second paragraph talks about acquiring a small fleet of battery electric buses. It sounds like they may be close to having 40 of them. It talks about how they don't have the range they need and that they are researching hydrogen fuel cell buses. And then the goal of being all electric by 2040.

My take on all this climate stuff is that if we collectively radically drop our population right away, we can force a change by early next year. I don't necessarily want to harp on Trimet. I know people who depend on it. It's part of the equation. I'm just warning people that it shouldn't be the main part of the equation. And traditional electric cars shouldn't be either. People in the rural areas are going to need more power than us in the city. My stance is that we should be trying to get as many powered vehicles out of the city as possible. I want to see our freeways to be clear for truckers to get through. I want people living locally. I don't want them going on the freeway. I don't want them going across town to do 12 hour nursing shifts. I don't want them going across town to enforce food stamp regulations. I want people to realize that not having a job and living on "the dole" or whatever it is, isn't an excuse to go on a three day vacation to the beach.

Politically, my thing is much bigger than fighting global warming. Global warming is serious, but people don't seem to be overly motivated to do something about it. We seem to be apathetic to the cause. So I frame it now that oil will eventually run out. I've been back on the meme of what I call the American Energy Revolution of 2007. People think about the mortgage crisis, but according to the Peak Oil Theory, we were running out of oil fast. Then we did the fracking and horizontal drilling thing. We did that because oil is harder to get to. We are running out of oil. You don't need some government report to tell you that. My grandmother who was born in 1921 always had cars in her life.

Is biodiesel better? Well, it's fuel. It's combining carbon with oxygen. Whether it is biodiesel, lithium ion batteries or hydrogen fuel cells, it's all energy. I rode my bicycle 80 miles last week. It's the same thing that it was 35 years ago. Surrounded by a sea of cars.

If oil runs out in 40 years, then what? (not that it would just stop like walking off a cliff) We'd be left with nuclear, hydro-electric, wind, solar and ethanol. Let's say that LP gas stops with oil and forget about coal for the moment. Nuclear and hydro are steady state AC sources. Wind is AC and solar is DC (well, at least not AC). I'm concerned with how we are going to power freight trains and 18 wheelers. Are we going to grow enough corn and sugar to power freight trains and 18 wheelers? And our bus systems? And our agricultural equipment? And our cars? Is pure ethanol that good? Sure, it is renewable. But there is this pesky UN report that keeps saying that we have less than 60 years of topsoil left. What then? How will we pave our roads, shingle our houses, create nitrogen fertilizer and more cell phones that we seem to replace every 2 or 3 years because we crack the screen and the battery dies? We need oil and LP for that. Aparently even having a supply of LP isn't going to help the soil situation eventually. And that isn't even considering the damage we do with nitrogen runoff which is something I mention in our 2018 Willamette Week interview for the primary election.

Do we keep growing our population to 10 billion by the end of the century like is projected? Are we powerless over that? Some math isn't that complicated. World population could be decreasing in 9 months. If everyone in the world has a device in their hands and it reading the 7KB of text I write every day, they may understand. If I can only get the message to the US people and we decrease population and the rest of the world keeps increasing, then we have a race war, right? Our "people" will become extinct. We're not going to allow them to do that, so we are going to have children. It's an arms race.

I'm not saying that reducing population is an easy task. I'm 53 years old and I still have something in the back of my mind that wants to have sex and procreate. I managed to get through life without having any children that I know about. I had some possibly delusional thinking that my last two roommates were my kids. That maybe my sperm had been stolen. Unlikely but probably not impossible. They are both 25 years younger than me. It was interesting having them here. In some ways, I felt like a parent. I had the idea that maybe they knew they were my children and now they are living with their biological father for the first time. I was just acting as I always do. I do my "zen" thing. They would use triggering language and I would be like well, it's a word. I have an understanding of its meaning. I hear you, and yet I am just still here playing my music and thinking about the things that I can prove. All words I hear from other people are theories. I get my facts from observing the environment around me. The science I hear about the carbon cycle makes sense. This computer is obviously doing something magical. My life is magical in how I learned to type and now it just flies off of my fingers. I used a clicky mechanical keyboard because I can type mostly at the rate that I think. It should also last a long, long time. I have 3 relatively fancy identical Dell Monitors. I bought them 10 years ago. If I lose the election, I'll likely be in a situation where I'll have to sell the house to continue this political work. I believe to my core that doing this political work of the thinking and writing on this site is more important than almost any job I would be offered doing software coding.

If I have to sell the house, I'll likely have to sell the monitors and then I'll likely have to buy similar replacements when I finally land somewhere more permanently. Would anyone even want my 10 year old monitors? Not to get on that high horse. A lot of people are consumers and phones and tablets are great for that. They use less power and are easier to ship. Laptops can be plugged in when the battery is gone forever. It seems like they finally figured out how to get rid of the fan. Is overheating with age still a problem? Is the CPU a removable component still?

Sure, I'm a jack of all trades. In politics, that is an asset. I'm actually quite good at a lot of things. Perhaps not farming though :-) I've grown tomatoes and corn. Which brings up the idea that I really do need to go out and trim the bad ends on the blueberry bush. I've never done that, but I can see the buds coming out and I can see the dead ends. The sun is out. Should be easy enough. Hey, I'm even wearing jeans! (that's odd!) I'm such a city jazz nerd!

...Pruning went well. Maybe one more session and I'll have it.

One more thing to say on this thread... The one possible reason I see for doing this lithium economy as people seem to be envisioning it is if we owe it to the lithium to free it. That theory is like we are the care takers of the Earth and it was our duty to release all of the carbon into the atmosphere and now it is our duty to release the lithium. That's a pretty far out theory, but I wouldn't say there is no logic to it. And then it continues to be our responsibility to seed Mars. Not to necessarily make a sustained civilization there. Perhaps we need to do what we can on Mars and then die there. And then release the lithium here and let the robots do there thing and then we go extinct or mostly extinct. It's a theory. I'm not the only person in the world. I've been living my life like anyone else. The struggles of the economy and the chase for resources and all that.

I've done a lot of thinking about how these planets work. I started that on the streets in 2003. The idea that the sun expels sub-atomic particals. They wiz through space fast and then some of them get in our atmosphere. On the way down, the atmosphere is more dense which increases the odds that they will hit an electron of an air atom. If that happens, the electron collison makes it spin faster. The faster spinning creates more collisions with nearby atoms which causes them to have an expanding effect. That is heat. Eventually the sub-atomic partical hits the ground and may penetrate it a bit. Perhaps it hits a surface we made like a solar panel or lego out in the sun. You can see how legos get light damage out in the sun for a year or so. Perhaps if the material is made right, it could be scraped and become like fishing for particals. A net. What did the sun give us today?

That's my theory. I didn't read that from a book. Is it useful information? Is it work thinking of this? Continuing... Some particals from the sun miss all the planets and make it to other solar systems and planets. Those are the stars we see. They are actually touching us, aren't they? Some particals hit Mercury and Venus. More than Earth and Mars. The side facing the sun is growing bigger. That is what makes the planet spin. The heavier side turns away from the sun. I've spent a lot of time over the past two decades trying to decide if the planets are getting sucked into the sun or away from it. I'm leaning pretty heavy on them getting sucked in now. Our planet is probably going to be like Venus some day and Mars will be like Earth. Mars has two small moons. Will they crash into Mars at one point? Will that action free whatever is beneath the surface? Is Mars a red, oxidized metal planet? Does it have frozen water beneath the surface? Will the moon crashing free it? And bring carbon into the atmosphere? Or has it all been a lie and Mars is actually a water world? Are there fish there? Is our purpose for going there to leave a cultural and technological artifact for a civilization to find after the moon collisions? Do we need to leave some artifacts all over the planet so we have better odds of one not being hit? Is that what the pyramids are really about? Instead of looking for the answers from other civilizations like ours coming in from other solar systems, is the contact we are looking for actually ourselves from the former Venus civilization? Is this the way it has always been done?

Or is that just a good science fiction book? Did people think of this 100 years ago? 500 years ago? Will someone steal "my" idea and I'll end up alone starving on the streets? Is this entertaining enough for this local society to continue covertly supporting me with enough money to buy food, but not enough to go anywhere? Am I free to wander the world with this message? Is reading it not enough? Is this just a story around the glow lamp like they say at the begining of the LucasArts Jedi Outcast game?

I don't know. This is where all my intellectual work has lead me. I honestly don't know. Perhaps billions of people are reading this or perhaps I'm just here writing like I have been for decades? If I stay here tonight or go to the other side of town, I'll still need to piss. I'll want to get some sleep and something to eat. I'll want to stretch. It would be nice to have someone to cuddle with, but that apparently isn't happening tonight. I'm not alone in all of this. We're all doing the thing. Did we find some space age solution on ISS to the old in/out problem? Is pissing and defecating an old thing that isn't needed? That's kind of a new thought in the last 6 months. I have my doubts, but I can't rule it out. I've been eating my whole life. I enjoy food. I enjoy cooking. I could live on bread, water and music. Or rice, water and music.

I ate about 3 gold potatoes, a half of a head of cauliflower, 1/3 of a cup of rice (before cooking), a couple mustard green leaves, some mustard seeds (popped in oil) and a few slices of bread today. I drank water. I also spluged and had a dark chocolate bar. I've become focused on plants that are wind pollinated. Are bees not going to survive? Are we taking them and other insects to Mars? Can we replace some corn with hemp? What are we doing down here and up there? Are we still worried about who is using the bathroom? Is thinking like this a buzz kill? Am I ruining the fun? The whistleblower?

If billions of people are listening to this, then why is no one communicating with me? If I'm all alone, then does all this make any sense? I have to believe it does. I put a lot of work into all of this. There must be all kinds of people who know all of this, right? If I believe what I see in my environment, then perhaps the majority of people are just doing the daily grind thing of doing their human errands. Having children. Getting meaning from their families. Reacting to the economic situation as best as they can. Trying to get some enjoyment out of it all. (fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way) I don't have any real power. I'm a victim of circumstance. Should I go downtown with a megaphone and preach my message like my young campaign manager suggested in 2017? Should I redesign my website like my prospective campaign managers are suggesting now? Should I get a loan to hire a professional photographer to take a professional picture of myself to put as a style { background-image: url(/images3000/some_rando.png); background-repeat: fixed; } ? Would I win the voter's confidence then? Am I going to lose the election because I'm not supporting the local community? Taking sides with them over the people in other communities? Fighting for better wages so people can buy better cars to take more vacations to the mountain where the snowpack is dwindling because humans are causing climate change by building cars to get to the mountains? All so we can get to Mars and start the cycle all over again?

Another day of "work". I did do some singing today. It's been a few weeks. I enjoyed it. I sang a high D! It probably sounded awful. I'm still working on making it better. So many wonderful things to do in this world.

Still reading? What do you see on my hand picture?

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How much do I have to personally sacrifice to be successful politically? Does the success of my campaign depend upon my ability to break down my personal barriers to cold calling? If I cold call a major business leader, will they respect me simply for cold calling them? If not, how will I earn their respect? Do I go straight into talking about the taboo subject of population reduction? Do I play the software engineer angle with them? What if they ask where I went to school? Do I say Berklee College of Music for one semester? Do I play the music card with them and mention playing a background part in a Ray Charles concert? Or playing improvised solos a few times a week for a couple years for naval officers on Admiral's Row and the NATO building on the largest Navy base in the world?

Would I play my RLR-4a recording for them? Or the RM 2-112v recording? Would they not be interested because there are no lyrics? Or it doesn't fit their culture?

Anyway. How to get to where I'm going on this issue is stressful for me. If I can't make this jump successfully all on my own, will my platform die? Is there someone else out there who can carry this platform better than I can? Does anyone believe in fighting climate change enough to cut me some slack? So that I can become credible enough to at least present these ideas in the national media?

I'm 52 years old. My political career path is different than Rep. Earl Blumenauer's and President Joe Biden's. I'm already taking a lot of risks here. I'll do my best to reach out to people this week, but it's going to be difficult for me and I personally don't see that getting success from the act is going to do much for me intellectually. I've arrived already. It took a lot of work to get here, but my thinking is straight.

I did some research this week on the word "assertive". The concept I came away with is a two way respect. Respect the other party's right to say NO. Respect your own right to say NO. And definitely say NO if it doesn't work for you.

I understand that negotiating and lawyers are the norm in congress. We need that. I see my role more as being an icon of a movement. I'm more of a speaker which is why I'm more interested in the executive positions. I want to present these ideas and listen to others debate them. Climate change is the issue I've put the most work into. I'm well rounded and can talk about a wide range of subjects, but I can't speak on everything.

It's a media respect thing. An interviewer can go down the road of asking me questions to tear me down and make me look stupid. Or an interviewer can ask me the questions to bring out the best in me. They can trigger me into my zen freak mode. I enjoy my zen freak mode. I have that eccentricity about me. People probably interpret it as even being dangerous or unstable. I'm just being playful though and playing with my physical skills in the environment. I'm constantly practicing flipping sticks in my hand and I carry a rock or metal coin with me and test all the sounds around me. Last night I was having dinner with my musical roommates and I hit the glass on the chandelier with my coin and it made a nice sound. And then I hit the glass on the next one from it and it was a whole step higher. They look identical, so this was a bit of a surprise. Then we all start playing them like we were a bell choir and they all had different pitches (this house we live in). Is this childish behavior? Playing? Playing in congress and the white house? In my women's business clothing? Taking time away from the duties of congress to do some coding on my pet DT 2d Studio project?

Would I relate to Elon Musk on this level? He was born just a couple months after I was. Mark Zuckerberg and I are PHP coders. How playful is Sting? JoAnn Falletta's bio is interesting. Maybe people just see me as a hack? Maybe I am! I live my life. I like my political aspirations better than being a motivational speaker for tech companies. I love tech, but it's just a tool. I manipulate pixels and move speaker cones. Sometimes with my King 2b trombone. Playing in the silicon...